Writing Puns
1. I tried to write a novel about a futuristic dystopia, but the plot was too derivative. I figured I shouldn’t plagiarize myself.
2. My friend got angry when I edited his writing. I told him not to take it personally—just trying to help him grow as an author.
3. I entered a pun contest hoping to win with a play on words. But no pun in ten did.
4. Did you hear about the writer who fell into the typewriter and suffered miner injuries?
5. I tried writing political satire, but all my jokes felt like a farce. Comedy is hard!
6. Hemingway walks into a bar and orders a mojito. The bartender asks, “Any umbrellas in your drink today?” Hemingway replies, “No, I prefer minimal garnishment.”
7. I entered a horror story writing contest but didn’t win. The judges said my plot was too cryptic.
8. Did you hear about the angry grammarian? He had a bone to prefix with you.
9. I got in trouble for writing an avant-garde poem. My parents said it was too abstract.
10. Did you hear about the writer who passed away? His words will live on.
11. I tried to write a romantic comedy screenplay, but couldn’t figure out an original meet cute. Back to the drawing bored.
12. Did you hear about the author who wrote in all caps? His book was reviewed as a shouted narrative.
Writing One-Liners
13. I’m writing a book on clocks—it’s about time I finished it!
14. My attempt at writing a drama was poorly acted out.
15. I tried writing a mystery novel, but my plot twist was easily solved.
16. I wrote a book about gravity, but found it hard to pull off.
17. My favorite authors have a real way with words—it’s almost as if they’re great writers or something.
18. I wrote a book on becoming a millionaire. It didn’t sell well, so that plan didn’t work out as written.
19. I wrote a horror story, but readers said it wasn’t that scary—just wrote.
20. I wrote a book about clocks, but it was about time I moved on to other projects.
21. I wanted to be an author, but didn’t have the write stuff.
22. Did you hear about the writer who fell in the typewriter? He suffered miner injuries.
Best Writing Jokes
23. I was excited to attend my 10-year high school reunion, until I realized I still hadn’t finished writing that novel I told everyone I was working on. When they asked how the book was going, I tried to change the subject by asking about their kids, but they kept pestering me about my “literary career.” Finally I cracked and admitted I had written about three chapters before giving up. So embarrassing!
24. I stayed up all night trying to write a mystery thriller. But after hours of writing, I couldn’t figure out whodunnit. I guess that plot point could use some work.
25. I entered a pun contest, hoping I’d win with a clever play on words. But no pun in ten did.
26. I tried to write a book about how to relieve stress. But the publishing process was so anxious and demanding, the irony was just too much. Now I’m even more stressed out!
27. Did you hear about the romance novelist who got divorced? She suddenly had a lot more material to work with.
28. I wrote a song about writer’s block. It was really hard to finish.
29. I wrote a western novel, but publishers said my protagonist was two dimensional. They kept telling me he needed more character development.
30. Did you hear about the copywriter who got fired for plagiarism? He couldn’t come up with any original ideas.
31. I tried writing poetry to impress this girl I liked, but none of my metaphors rhymed. She was not moved.
32. I wrote a horror story where the monster was a giant spider. Critiques said it wasn’t very original. Back to the drawing bored!
33. Did you hear about the fiction writer who got arrested? Turns out his plot was too twisted.
34. I wrote a time travel novel, but got my historical details mixed up. One critic said it was so inaccurate, it felt like science friction.
35. I entered a comedy screenwriting contest, but didn’t make the finals. Judges said my jokes felt scripted.
36. Did you hear about the erotica writer who ran out of steam? He lost his thrust halfway through the book.
37. I wrote a thriller about a serial killer. My agent said the gore was too unrealistic and over-the-top. I argued it was imperative for the killer’s character arc!
38. I tried writing a self-help book on finding your passion. But I just couldn’t get inspired.
39. Did you hear about the grammar stickler who got angry when someone ended a sentence with a preposition? He had nothing to end his sentence with!
40. I wrote a steamy romance novel, but my grandma found it. Now family reunions are really awkward.
41. I tried to write a novel set in the future. But all my predictions about technology were totally off. I guess I’m not much of a clairvoyant author.
42. Did you hear about the journalist who got caught plagiarizing? They copied and pasted the wrong person!
43. I wrote a book about achieving inner peace through meditation. But promoting the book and doing readings has been so stressful. I need a vacation!