Whale Puns
1. What do you call a whale that makes art? A crafty kraken!
2. What do you call a whale who does magic tricks? An abra-cachalot!
3. I was going to tell a joke about whales but I decided to drop it because it was too heavy.
4. What do you call a whale detective? Sherwhalek Holmes!
5. What do you call an angry whale? A cross beluga!
6. I was whale watching yesterday and saw a whale with a sunburn. It was a red whale.
7. Why don’t whales like websites? Because they prefer blubber-nets.
8. What happens if you Cross a whale with a skunk? You get a smelluga!
9. How do whales communicate long-distance? They use whale calls!
10. What’s a whale’s favorite song? We are family even though you’re fatter than me.
11. What’s a whale’s favorite TV show? Whale of Fortune!
12. Why don’t whales eat clownfish? Because they taste funny!
13. What do you call a psychic whale? A karm-a whale!
14. What do you call a sleepy whale? A narwhale!
15. What do you call a whale that works as a detective? Sherwhalek Holmes!
16. What do you call a whale that’s been knighted? Sir Humpback!
17. What kind of shoes do whale’s wear? Flip-flops!
18. How do whales vote? With an orca ballot!
Whale One-Liners
19. What’s a whale’s favorite band? Beach Boys!
20. What’s a whale’s favorite TV show? Whale of Fortune!
21. How do whales get around? By hitching wides!
22. What do you call a depressed whale? A blue whale!
23. Why don’t whales like websites? Because they prefer blubbernets!
24. How do whales communicate long-distance? They use whale calls!
25. What kind of shoes do whales wear? Flip-flops!
26. What happens if you tickle a whale? It giggles and laughs!
27. Why are whales so big? Because they eat a lot of fish!
28. How do you make a whale laugh? Ten tickles!
29. What’s as big as a whale but weighs nothing? Its shadow!
30. What do you get if you cross a whale with a skunk? A smelluga!
31. How do you find Willy the Whale in the ocean? Look for the whale waves!
32. Where does a 600 pound whale sit? Anywhere it wants!
33. What’s a whale’s favorite hobby? Whale watching!
34. How does a whale get to school? By whaleshark!
35. What do you call a psychic whale? A karm-a whale!
36. How do whales vote? With an orca ballot!
Best Whale Jokes
37. One day, a whale was swimming in the ocean when he saw a ship sailing nearby. He decided to swim up next to the ship to take a closer look. As he got close, the whale realized there was a party going on on the ship’s deck. He popped his head out of the water and shouted “HEY, CAN I JOIN YOUR PARTY?”. One of the passengers shouted back “Sure, come aboard!” The whale was so excited that he did a backflip in joy. Unfortunately, he was so large that when he jumped his body hit the ship, capsizing it. As the ship was sinking, the whale shouted “SORRY ABOUT THE PARTY!”
38. What’s the difference between a whale and a wave?
One whales a ton, the other tons a whale!
39. A tour group was whale watching off the coast of Alaska when they spotted a pod of Beluga whales swimming nearby. The tour guide announced “Look, those beautiful white whales are Belugas!”. One tourist responded “Well they certainly are white, but why do you call them Belugas?” The guide replied “Because they’re too big to fit in a Ford Fiesta!”
40. How do you make a whale laugh?
Give it a tic-keel!
41. A whale walks into a bar. The bartender says “Hey, we don’t serve whales here!”. The whale responds “That’s fine, I only drink water anyways”.
42. What did the baby whale say to its mother when she was annoyed?
“Whale, whale, whale – what’s wrong mom?”
43. How does a whale get around the ocean?
By hitching wides!
44. What happens if you tickle a whale?
It giggles and laughs!
45. A baby whale was swimming with its mother. The baby whale asked “Mom, where did I come from?” The mother whale laughed and said “Well honey, when a mommy whale and a daddy whale love each other very much, the daddy whale…” The baby whale interrupted and said “Oh Mom, I know how whales are made. I meant where did our family come from – you know, our ancestry?” The mother whale chuckled and said “Oh I see! Well you see, honey, our ancestors are from Liverpool.” The baby whale was confused and asked “Liverpool? Why are our ancestors from England?” The mother whale smiled and said “Because, darling, you never saw a whale swim from Norway, did you?”
46. Why don’t ogres eat whales?
Because they think they taste blubbery!
47. What’s as big as a whale but doesn’t weigh anything?
Its shadow!
48. What is a whale’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune!
49. How does a whale get wifi?
They connect to blubber.net!
50. Where does a whale go to learn tricks?
To orca school!
51. How does a whale get groceries?
They order everything h’orca.
52. What do you get if you cross a whale with a skunk?
A smelluga!
53. Why are killer whales the most even tempered creatures in the sea?
Because nothing gets under an orca’s skin!
54. What is a whale’s favorite childhood game?
Duck, duck, splash!
55. Why don’t whales eat clownfish?
Because they taste funny!
56. What do you call a whale of a time?
A whaley good time!
57. Why did the whale cross the beach?
To get to the other tide!
58. What did the baby whale say to its father when he was mad?
“Whale, whale, whale, what’s wrong Daddy?”
59. What did the mommy whale say to her naughty calf?
“Whale, whale, whale, aren’t you a troublemaker!”
60. Where do whales go to vote?
The orca polling station!
61. How does a whale find its way around the ocean?
It uses its whale sonar!
62. What’s a whale’s favorite hobby?
Whale watching!
63. What’s a whale’s favorite band?
Beach Boys!
64. How does a whale get to school?
By whaleshark!
65. What’s a whale’s favorite carol?
We Wish You A Merry Kriss-Mist!
66. Why are whales so easy to weigh?
Because they have their own scales!
67. What kind of shoes do whales wear?
Flip-flops!
68. How does a whale call his friends?
On his shellphone!
69. What do you get if you cross a whale with a skunk?
A smelluga!
70. What do you call a sleepy whale?
A narwhale!
71. Why don’t whales eat penguins?
Because they can’t fit them down their blowholes!
72. What happened when the whale couldn’t find its tail?
It was stumped!
73. Why are Orca whales the most even tempered creatures in the sea?
Because nothing gets under their skin!
74. What kind of whale never goes to school?
A blue whale!
75. What do you call a whale detective?
Sherwhalek Holmes!
76. Where do whales vote?
At the orca polls!
77. Why don’t whales eat dessert?
They’re afraid it might get them sundae’d!
78. What’s as big as a whale but doesn’t weigh anything?
Its shadow!
79. How do whales vote?
With an orca ballot!
80. What do you call a psychic whale?
A karm-a whale!
81. How do you communicate with a whale?
Use sonar waves!
82. What do you call a whale who solves mysteries?
Sherwhalek Homes!
83. What do you call a whale of a good time?
A whale of a time!
84. Why don’t whales eat clownfish?
Because they taste funny!
85. What do you call a whale from outer space?
A comet whale!
86. What do you call a psychic whale?
A happy medium!
87. What do you call a whale magician?
A hocus pokus whale!
88. Why don’t ogres eat whales?
Because they think they’re too blubbery!
89. What does a whale wash its clothes with?
Tide!
90. Why don’t whales like websites?
They prefer blubbernets!
91. What’s as big as a whale but weighs nothing?
Its shadow!
92. What happens if you tickle a whale?
It giggles and laughs!
93. How do whales vote?
With an orca ballot!
94. What’s a whale’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune!