Welding Puns
1. I took my welding equipment in for repairs and the technician said, “Don’t worry, we’ll get to the root of the problem.”
2. I was looking for a new welding helmet and the salesperson suggested I try a flip-up model. I said, “No thanks, I don’t want to be blinded by the light.”
3. My friend got fired from the welding shop for stealing. I guess crime doesn’t weld.
4. I entered my dog in a welding competition, but he didn’t win. It turns out he made a lot of flawed joints.
5. I bought my welder a candle for her birthday. She said it was the hottest gift ever.
6. Two welders decided to go into business together. It was a joint venture.
7. My welder friend got arrested for fixing bike frames without a license. He was charged with unlicensed steeling.
8. I failed my welding certification test because I kept getting distracted by all the sparks flying. I guess I didn’t have my mind on the metal.
9. I got hired at a welding company but then got fired on my first day. I guess I didn’t bond well with my new co-workers.
10. I entered a welding art competition but didn’t win. The judges told me my sculpture wasn’t refined enough.
Welding One-Liners
11. Hot stuff – that’s what they call a good welder.
12. A welder’s favorite drink? Fusion juice.
13. Want to hear a welding joke? Never mind, it’s too much work to weld it together.
14. What do you call someone who welds under water? A deep sea diver.
15. How do welders get to work? They carpool.
16. What do you call a lazy welder? A riveter.
17. How do you organize a space welding party? You planet.
18. Why are welders never hungry at work? They get plenty of metal meals.
19. What’s a welder’s favorite rock band? Arc/dc.
20. How does a welder fix a broken heart? They fuse it back together.
Best Welding Jokes
21. A welder walked into a bar and ordered a martini. The bartender asked, “Do you want that dry?” The welder replied, “No, just give me a straw.”
22. What did the welder say when his soldering iron stopped working? “This just isn’t going to cut it anymore!”
23. How do you join two pieces of metal together? You weld them!
This joke works as a play on the word “weld” which means both to join metals together through fusion, and to present or introduce something for consideration.
24. A welder finished up a long day at work and came home exhausted. “Honey, I’m beat” he told his wife. “You’re not kidding!” she replied. “Your clothes have more holes than a wire mesh screen!”
25. Why don’t ants get electrocuted when welders are working? Because they wear their little hard hats and tiny welding masks.
26. What did one welding rod say to the other? “I find you very attractive.”
27. A welder walks into a blacksmith shop and picks up a horseshoe. He turns to the blacksmith and says “Hey buddy, I think you’re doing my job!”
28. Why did the welder get sent to the principal’s office? For torching the school!
This joke plays on the double meaning of “torching” – applying a welding torch, and severely damaging something.
29. How do you make holy water? You get a priest to bless a welding machine!
The joke being that the water used to cool welding equipment is made “holy”.
30. Why don’t ants get stuck in welder’s helmets? Because they slide right down the shiny surface!
This silly joke imagines ants crawling around inside a welding helmet.
31. What’s the first thing a novice welder makes? Sparks and mistakes!
It takes a lot of practice to master welding techniques.
32. Why was the welder fired from the construction job? He kept spacing out on the beams!
“Spacing out” refers to improper spacing between welds.
33. Why did the welder get sent to jail? For a salt and battery!
This joke riffs on the legal term “assault and battery” but replaces assault with salt, referring to the salt water used in welding equipment.
34. Why are welders such great dancers? Because they know how to forge and metal!
“Forge and metal” sounds like “forge and mettle” referring to courage and vigor.
35. What’s a welder’s favorite dessert? Lava cake!
Lava cake’s gooey melted center is reminiscent of melted welding filler.
36. Why do welders make bad criminals? Because they always leave their name on their work!
Welders often etch or stamp their names on their projects.
37. What did the welder say to his upset client? “Don’t worry, we’ll iron out the issues!”
This joke imagines “ironing out” problems, playing on iron’s role in welding.
38. Why do welders make terrible Uber drivers? They keep brazing past your stop!
The welding term “brazing” sounds like “braking” in this pun.
39. Did you hear about the welder who entered the ministry? He had an epiphany and decided to altar his career.
“Altar” his career… altar as in church altar.
40. Why was the welder late for work? Because he took too long to steel himself and face the day.
“Steel himself” refers to gaining composure but uses “steel” in reference to the metal worked by welders.
41. Why was welding banned at the animal shelter? It made the dogs nervous because they were afraid they’d be neutered.
This jokes that the dogs associated welding torches with being “fixed” or neutered.
42. How does a welder fix a cracked sidewalk? They fill the concrete flaws before someone trips and falls.
Playing on the word “flaws” which refers to imperfections in both concrete and welding.
43. Where do welders keep their tools? In their metal boxes!
“Metal boxes” meaning tool boxes, while also referring to metal containers welded together.
44. When does a boat need welding work? When it’s hull has a gaping hole!
The boat’s hull, or outer frame, would need repaired if it had a hole breached in it.
45. Why was the welder late to work? She took too long putting on her makeup, it was a real smoky eye day.
In welding, a “smoky eye” refers to blackened eyes from welding smoke, like raccoon eyes.
