Trash Can Puns (15)
- What do you call a garbage can that’s also a talented singer? A trash can-tata!
- Why was the recycling bin angry at the trash can? They had beef from the pasta and needed to squash it!
- My friend was carrying a trash can to an event. I asked what it was for and he said, “It’s for trashcan-dancing!”
- What did the trash can say to the recycling bin? “We make quite the pair!”
- Did you hear about the posh trash cans? They’re quite fond of trash can-delabras!
- What did the one trash can say to the other as they were being crushed? “Well this is a load of garbage!”
- Why can’t trash cans play hide and seek? Because they’re always taking out the trash!
- What do you call a trash can that also fences? A trash can-te!
- Did you hear about the trash can band? Their songs are quite rubbish!
- Why don’t trash cans go camping? They hate being around dump sites!
- What do you call a trash can that works on a farm? A trash can-tine!
- Why was the trash can so popular at the party? It was quite the trash can-didate!
- What was the trash can’s favorite appetizer? Trash can-dips!
- I entered my trash can into a music competition. You could say it became quite the trash can-testant!
- What do you call an easily scared trash can? A trash can’t!
Trash Can One-Liners (15)
- My trash can is getting pretty full…looks like it’s time to take out the trash!
- I asked my trash can what was wrong and it said, “I’m fed up with all this garbage!”
- They say one man’s trash is another man’s treasure, so I guess my trash can is full of treasure!
- I was going to get a nice trash can but all I could afford was this rubbish bin!
- My trash can is very musically talented, in fact you could say it’s quite the trash can-phony!
- I entered my trash can into a race, but sadly it didn’t make it past the garbage disposal!
- I thought my trash can could be a great storage option, but it turns out it was just another waste bin!
- I told my trash can to leave, I said “make like a tree and get out of here!”
- Someone dumped a group of squirrels in my trash can, it’s become quite the dumpster fire!
- My roommate was mumbling angrily about the trash can, I think he has some serious garbage issues!
- I tried to teach my trash can to dance but it turns out it has two bin left feet!
- Someone kicked over my trash can in the street, well that just rubbish!
- My trash can tried out for the Olympics but sadly didn’t make the cut to be a dumps-ter diver.
- I asked my trash can what the score of the game was and it said it didn’t give two bits of rubbish!
- My trash can said it wanted to settle down, looks like it’s ready for the city dumps!
Best Trash Can Jokes (15)
31. My roommate was complaining that taking out the trash was his least favorite chore. I told him that was rubbish and he needed to stop taking the trash can for granted! I said, “That trash can provides an invaluable service. Without it our whole house would be filled with smelly garbage with no way to dispose of it properly! So next time you go to take it out, make sure to thank that trash can for dealing with all our junk!” My roommate just rolled his eyes at my trash can appreciation speech.
32. I was walking down the street when I saw a trash can shaking violently. Concerned, I went over and asked “What’s the matter?” The trash can turned to me with tears in its eyes…well eye-shaped dents and said “I’m just having an emotional out-pour!” Then it knocked its lid off in frustration. I tried to console the dramatic trash can saying that it seemed overwhelmed and if it needed to talk I was there.
33. My town recently had issues with birds ripping open trash bags and strewing garbage all over the streets. The mayor implemented a strict new rule that all trash cans must have secure lids that latch tightly. My trash can was very upset about having to keep its lid closed at all times. I came home one night to find it sobbing in the corner. I asked what was wrong and it cried “I just feel so trapped with this lid! I miss seeing the sky when people dump their trash in me!” I had to stifle a laugh at my dramatic trash can having an identity crisis over having to keep quiet with a lid.
34. I was taking out the trash when I suddenly got that spine tingling feeling that I was being watched. Slowly, I turned around to see my open trash can with its lid lifted up staring right at me. We stood there in silence just blinking at each other for a few awkward moments. Then my trash can said telepathically “Were you just about to throw me out with the garbage, Dave?” Panicked, I stammered “Of course not, I would never!” As I nervously lowered my trash can back to the ground. Now whenever it’s trash night I always make sure to politely ask my trash can if it’s ready to take out the garbage. Wouldn’t want it plotting any revenge on me!
35. My trash can has been acting awfully smug lately. The other day I went to dump some junk mail in it and it made a sassy remark saying “Well, well, look who comes crawling back to me whenever their house gets all messy!” Taken aback I said “Umm excuse me? You’d be overflowing with trash if I didn’t regularly empty you out!” My trash can retorted “Yeah if you didn’t NEED me so badly! Face it, you’d be drowning in garbage without me, I’m saving your life over here!” I just shook my head and said “You’ve gotten awfully high and mighty for a waste bin.” I may need to take that trash can down a peg or two!
36. My trash can has been going through an emo phase recently. It’s started listening to all this loud punk music while sulking in the corner. The other day I tossed an empty bag of chips in and missed. When I went to pick it up and try again, my trash can glared at me and said “Ugh, just leave it on the floor! No one appreciates me anyway, I might as well give up…” Then it started crying smeared black eyeliner down its metal sides. I tried explaining “Come on, you know I appreciate you! Our house would be a mess without your hard work disposing of our garbage.” But my trash can just scoffed and turned up its music louder, ignoring me. Somebody is being a melodramatic piece of junk!
37. My trash can fancies itself an artist and keeps submitting elaborate sculptures made from our garbage to local art galleries. Just last week I got a call from the contemporary museum downtown asking if they could display my trash can’s masterpiece “Decomposition of Modern Society as Seen Through a Half-Eaten Sandwich.” I had to awkwardly explain that the so-called sculptor was in fact just our round silver waste bin in the kitchen. Needless to say, the museum rescinded their offer to showcase any more of my trash can’s art. If I have to clean up one more rotten mess after it tries molding the garbage into aesthetic shapes, I swear that creative trash can is going to get a rude awakening!
38. My trash can has been binge watching soap operas nonstop for weeks. Ever since my wife accidentally left the TV on a melodramatic program, it’s been hooked. Now whenever I walk by the kitchen, I see my trash can parked in front of the screen sobbing its lid off watching the most ridiculous plot lines. Just yesterday I caught the climax where two star-crossed trash cans from rival houses finally poured out their forbidden love for each other. My impressionable trash can was wailing “Their bins were destined to intersect!” I couldn’t roll my eyes hard enough and said “Don’t you have more important duties to attend to…like taking out the ACTUAL trash in this household when you’re full?!” My trash can sniffed “You just don’t understand romance at all!” before turning back to the cheap drama.
39. My messy teenage son is always complaining about having to take out the trash. Last week I overheard him venting to his buddies “Ugh my dictator Dad makes me drag that stupid trash can out to the curb all the time, he’s such a tyrant!” When he got home, I promptly directed him over to apologize to the trash can he had so callously insulted. His mouth fell open in disbelief as I motioned to the empty waste bin and said “Go on then, it’s waiting.” Rolling his eyes so hard I thought they’d detach, my son reluctantly muttered “I’m sorry for calling you stupid…” I had to bite my cheek so hard to keep from bursting out laughing! But hey maybe now he’ll show our trash can a little more courtesy!
40. Our trash can thinks it has a wicked sense of humor. It’s always trying out bad puns and corny jokes on anyone who walks by. Just this morning I stumbled sleepy-eyed into the kitchen, looking for some wake-up caffeine. As I reached for the coffee pot, I heard a disembodied voice crack “Don’t worry the coffee will perk you right up! Ha, get it perk?!” I slowly turned to see our round silver trash can blinked innocently up at me, so proud of its witty banter first thing in the morning. Trying not to grit my teeth, I forced a smile and said “Ha, hilarious…” Our trashy comedian just ate up the fake praise though, already gearing up for its next bit I’m sure!
41. My trash can has been feeling very inspired by poetry lately. I’ll come home and find it daydreaming out the window murmuring beautiful sonnets under its breath about the dying autumn leaves. Which honestly would be quite lovely, if not for the fact it neglects to ever take out the reeking trash while caught up in its artistic reveries! Just yesterday I had to plug my nose, marching over to our overflowing waste bin waxing poetic about the “cascading colors of glorious decay” out the window. I interrupted its poem and said you know what would be magnificent? If a certain someone would take out the ACTUAL waste decaying inside our kitchen before it rots through the bag!” My trash can blinked its lid coyly and sighed “But Katherine, surely you understand I cannot constrain my muse…” Yeah, well your muse better haul this garbage to the curb or find itself on the front lawn!
42. My trash can watches way too much reality TV and has gotten very caught up in celebrity gossip culture as a result. It’s always rolling up to me when I walk in the door saying things like “Oh my gosh Karen, you’ll never guess who Jennifer dumped this week! It was so scandalous…” Honestly half the time I have no clue who my trash can is even talking about. The other day I finally interrupted its star-studded drivel to say “You do realize you’re a waste bin, right? Shouldn’t you be taking out the trash instead of concerning yourself with which Hollywood couples split up this week?” My trash can looked wounded and sniffed “I’ll have you know pop culture is a perfectly legitimate hobby. Just because I’m a trash can doesn’t mean I can’t have outside interests, Karen!” Oh yes, having opinions on Kim Kardashian’s latest plastic surgery and speculating about rom com breakups does seem like very intellectual “outside interests” for my gossip rag of an appliance!
43. My trash can thinks it’s God’s gift to interior design and constantly criticizes how we’ve decorated our home. Just last week as I was cleaning up our living room, I suddenly heard a sniff behind me. I turned to see our round silver waste bin judgingly eying up the new throw pillows on our couch. In a haughty voice it said “Hmmm well I suppose those pillows are alright, but I think a nice neutral linen or decorated brocade would have elevated the whole aesthetic better.” I threw my hands up in exasperation and argued back “When did your function become household style expert exactly? You’re a utilitarian object meant for collecting garbage!” My pompous trash can simply tilted its lid up and retorted “Darling I don’t expect you to understand high design. Just let me know once you finally decide to repaint that hideous mauve feature wall!” Who knew a literal metal bucket could be so persnickety and pretentious over paint colors and textiles?!
44. My trash can gets very grumpy whenever it rains. I think it has seasonal affective disorder or something. Even just a light drizzle puts it a nasty mood. The other day I walked by and casually tossed an old yogurt container towards it. The trash can violently shuddered and banged its lid shut, nearly clipping my fingers. In an irritated voice it snapped “Ugh do you HAVE to make so much trash when it’s gross outside?! Some of us don’t enjoy being slogged through muddy water you know!” Taken aback I stammered “S-sorry, I didn’t realize you hated rain so much. I can carry you past any puddles if that helps?” My trash can just sulked and grumbled “Whatever, just stop creating so much unnecessary garbage…” Sheesh someone woke up on the wrong side of the bin this morning! Maybe I should get that temperamental trash receptacle one of those sun lamps for some mood lighting!
45. My trash can thinks it is a world class chef and constantly tries to “spice up” all the discarded food waste we throw into it. The other night I went to toss out some bad chicken scraps. As I dumped them in, my trash can lit up and cried “Ooo leftover poultry, how delightful!” Before I could respond, it started rattling off recipes: “Let’s see we could do a citrusy glaze or maybe an herbed baste!” In disbelief I interrupted “Ummm…you do realize we can’t actually EAT that raw rotten chicken right?” My trash can scoffed “Darling I’m all about reducing food waste and creative flavor profiles! Now hand me those lemons and rosemary from the fridge…” I had to put my foot down with that ambitious appliance. Like I’m going to let some contaminated garbage slime give me a case of salmonella poisoning thanks to my trash can’s “refined palette!” No thanks, I value my health more than its pretentious epicurean experiments!