Toy Puns
- What do you call a toy that loves hosting parties? An entertainer!
- That plush dinosaur is very poplar these days. You might say kids are toy-rano-soaring him.
- I bought a toy drone that has some uncomfortable designs on it. It’s a little crass plaything.
- My friend got rich selling toy wagons. You could say he made a small fortune.
- The teddy bear claimed he knew everything. I think he was just stuffing.
- I’d tell you a joke about a toy boat, but I don’t think you would get it. It probably wood sink in.
- The new toy store didn’t allow kids inside. It had a strict no children’s section.
- I was going to tell my doll a joke but she didn’t look amused. I guess she has a plastic sense of humor.
- That toy factory had to close. Apparently they were making things up as they went along.
- The toy builder took a break to drink some water. He needed to quench his first.
Toy One-Liners
- My slinky is the most inspirational toy I own – it always tells me to keep going, even when things get tough.
- I bought a camera for my action figure so now he can take some toy photos.
- Bought my niece a baby doll to get her ready for the real thing – it cries so much she said no thanks to having kids!
- Got frustrated trying to fix my RC car so I just handed the controller to my 4 year old – problem solved thanks to his toy logic.
- Was out shopping for a gift when I came across Operation – unfortunately the guy ringing me up wasn’t a skilled toy surgeon.
- Saw a guy at the fair winning prize after prize on those claw machines – when it comes to toy grabs, he’s got real plush skills.
- Thought about getting a toy drone to scope out traffic and plan my commute but didn’t want to look like I was just playing with toys.
- A kid told me he could predict the future with his Magic 8 ball so I asked if I’d win the lottery – the ball said cannot predict now…real suspicious if you ask me.
- Overheard someone say they were looking for Mrs. Potato Head – not sure if they were expecting to find a real potato wife or just couldn’t find the toy.
- Saw a help wanted ad for a Rock Em Sock Em Robots referee – gotta make sure those plastic boxers follow proper toy rules!
Best Toy Jokes
21. I went to the toy store to return an action figure I bought. When I told the clerk Spiderman was broken, he said “Uh oh, looks like his Spidey senses are tingling incorrectly!”
22. For show and tell, Billy brought in his favorite stuffed animal. The teacher asked “What’s your toy’s name?” Billy held up his bear and said “I just call him Stuffing.”
23. What do you call Santa’s helpers? Subordinate Clauses.
24. My brother glued all his building blocks together so no one else could play with them. My mom wasn’t too happy about his toy monopoly.
25. What do you call toys that escaped from prison? Cons on the run.
26. Why can’t Elsa from Frozen play hide and seek? Because she will always Let It Go!
27. I bought a Halloween Ouija board toy for kids. Turns out it has a manufacturing defect – it only says “Boo!” no matter what you ask it.
28. What do you call Santa’s little helpers? Subordinate Clauses.
29. I asked my magic 8 ball if I should trust him. He said “ask again later” so I don’t really know if he means what he says.
30. Why was the toy maker arrested? He was caught making a doll out of pot. They charged him with illegal plastic possession.
31. My wife threatened to leave me over my toy car collection taking over the house. I had to give her a Hot Wheels apology.
32. What do you call a pony with a sore throat? A little hoarse.
33. How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.
34. I don’t trust that new toy everyone loves, Furreal Puppy. I asked him if he wanted to play fetch and he was like “possibly…” Seems shifty to me.
35. Why can’t bikes stand up on their own? They are two tired.
36. Did you hear about the monster doll who was arrested? He was charged with illegal plush possession.
37. I ordered a Scooby Doo mystery toy set for my niece. When it arrived, the box was empty. I guess I got “Ripped Off Right Away In Plain Sight.”
38. My son put on a puppet show but none of the toys showed any reactions. I guess you could say it didn’t get much ap-plause.
39. I bought my nephew a Transformer for his birthday. He was overjoyed when he opened his gift… you could say it was More Than Meets The Eye.
40. Did you hear Hasbro is coming out with a politically correct Mr. Potato Head? It’s called Mx. Potato Head.
41. What happened to the wooden car with wooden wheels and wooden engine? It wooden go!
42. Did you hear Mattel opened up a restaurant? It serves everything imaginable!
43. Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot!
44. How do you make a puppy float? Add ice cream and soda. Get it…ice cream soda pup!
45. Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine.
46. Did you hear about the first restaurant to open on Mars? Great food, no atmosphere.
47. I ordered a duck toy on Amazon but when it arrived it was fake. I immediately wrote a bad re-quack.
