Starfish Puns (15)
1. I heard starfish make terrible coffee. You could say they’re de-caf.
2. The starfish got frustrated trying to open the jam jar. I guess it needed an extra hand.
3. The starfish band was missing their drummer before the big show. They needed someone to keep the beat.
4. I was surprised when my starfish friend beat me in arm wrestling. I underestimated his strength.
5. The starfish got arrested for stealing. The police said he was caught red-handed.
6. I told my starfish friend not to touch the hot stove. But he didn’t listen and now his hand is burned.
7. The starfish barber kept cutting his clients’ hair unevenly. I guess he needs more practice to perfect his craft.
8. The starfish carpenter assembled the chair wrong and it collapsed. He should have followed the instructions.
9. I saw a starfish on TV aggressively promoting a product. He was quite the salesarm.
10. The starfish tried boxing but kept dropping his gloves. He just doesn’t have the hands for it.
11. The starfish chef prepared a delicious meal with one hand tied behind his back. What skill!
12. The starfish violinist wasn’t making any progress learning the instrument. I told him to keep practicing one hand at a time.
13. The starfish couple held their wedding ceremony on the beach. They promised to love each other though thick and fin.
14. The starfish tried typing an email but kept hitting wrong keys. He needs more practice to improve his finger dexterity.
15. I saw a starfish clinging onto a cliff edge with one hand. He was barely holding on by an arm and a leg!
Starfish One-Liners (10)
16. I heard starfish don’t wear socks…they don’t have feet!
17. A starfish walks into a bar and says, “A beer please!” The bartender says, “Where’s your ID?” The starfish replies, “I left it at home, but I’m over 21, I have my word as a starfish.”
18. What do you call a very rude starfish? A snarkfish!
19. How does a starfish hold up his pants? With his beltbuckle!
20. Where do starfish go to borrow books? The liberry!
21. How do starfish communicate under water? With their shell phones!
22. Why don’t starfish live in saltwater? Because pepperwater is better!
23. What do you call a psychic starfish? A fortunetellerfish!
24. How do starfish stick together? With star glue!
25. What do you call a starfish detective? An investigater!
Best Starfish Jokes (40)
26. A starfish wanted to be a star quarterback in football, but the coach said, “Sorry, you can’t play with just one hand on the ball.”
27. A starfish and clam were friends who did everything together. People said they were inseparabull.
28. What do you get if you cross a starfish with a bulldog? A dogfish that can get a really good grip!
29. How do starfish surf the internet? On websights!
30. The starfish engineer designed a rocket to travel to the moon. His coworkers said it was lightyears ahead of its time.
31. What kind of shoes do starfish wear? Flip flops!
32. Why don’t starfish live in lakes? Because then they’d be freshfish!
33. How does a starfish count to ten? On its fingers!
34. What do you call a starfish that refuses to share? Shellfish!
35. Why don’t starfish make good sailors? Because they get seasick!
36. How do starfish stick paper together? With starfish paste!
37. Why did the starfish get bad grades? He was just coasting through school!
38. What happens when a starfish and octopus fight? It’s an eight vs eight match!
39. I wanted to teach my starfish friend to juggle, but he could only manage balls in one hand at a time.
40. The starfish lifeguard had to think fast when a swimmer started drowning. He leapt into action without hesitating.
41. What’s a starfish’s favorite hobby? Jewelry making! They have a real hand for crafts.
42. Why don’t starfish live in outer space? Because it’s too far out of reach!
43. How does a starfish smell? Awful if you get too close to its mouth!
44. A starfish, squid, and crab walk into a restaurant. The waiter says, “We don’t serve food here.” The starfish says, “That’s not fair, this is discrimination!”
45. What kind of art does a starfish make? Drawrings!
46. Why don’t starfish make good singers? They can’t reach the high notes!
47. How does a starfish swim fast? By flapping its earms!
48. The starfish tried to run for president but couldn’t shake hands with all his supporters. It was too much to handle.
49. What happens when starfish collide? They sea stars!
50. Why do starfish have trouble sleeping? Because they have no eyelids!
51. How did the starfish get to work? In a starfish-pool!
52. Why was the starfish sent to the principal’s office? For misbehavRING!
53. What’s a starfish’s favorite day of the week? Saturd-FISH!
54. What did the starfish say when he won the lottery? “I can’t believe I won, what luckRAY!”
55. How do starfish say hello underwater? Sea ya later!
56. Why was the starfish having a bad hair day? He couldn’t hold the comb straight!
57. What do you call a group of cop starfish? The fin-est!
58. The starfish couldn’t play the piano with his one hand. He needed more keys to succeed.
59. How do starfish keep their skin moisturized? With lotions and potions!
60. Why don’t starfish smoke? Because it’s bad cilia for your health!
61. What’s a starfish’s favorite snack? ChIPS!
62. How does a starfish call his friends? With a shellphone!
63. What’s a starfish’s favorite kind of music? Anything they can clap their hand to!
64. Why was the starfish fired from his job as a cashier? He kept dropping coins everywhere!
65. The starfish couldn’t change a lightbulb with just one hand. He had to call a friend for help.
