55 Funny Sponge Jokes

Sponge Puns

1. What do you call a sponge that helps you clean? A sponge aid!
2. Why can’t sponges play tag? Because they’re always it!
3. I heard sponges make great secretaries. They’re very absorbent.
4. What do you get when you cross a sponge with a spider? A spinder!
5. How do sponges communicate under water? With sea shells!
6. Did you hear about the sponge who was training to run a marathon? He could really soak up the miles!
7. Why are sponges considered lazy? They hardly ever lift a finger!
8. What do you call a sponge that just got rejected? Absorbent!
9. My friend was struggling to carry a bunch of sponges, so I said “Here, use this basket, it’ll help lighten your load.”
10. What do you call a sponge that works as a watchmaker? A swiss sponge!
11. Why do sponges make good editors? They’re always willing to take cuts!

Sponge One-Liners

12. I used to have a job washing windows, but then I got fired for lacking spine.
13. I entered my sponge in a half marathon, now it’s exhausted.
14. My sponge and I get along swimmingly.
15. I was going to tell a joke about sponges, but it was too absorbent.
16. Sponges may seem soft and harmless, but they have a dark side.
17. I ordered fast food the other day and my sponge arrived cold and soggy.
18. Sponges spend their whole lives soaking up knowledge only to be wrung out in the end.
19. They say thefamily that scrubs together stays together.
20. Be kind to sponges, you never know what they may be going through.
21. Sponges have feelings too, you know!

Best Sponge Jokes

22. Two sponges walk into a bar. The first sponge orders a beer, but the second sponge just soaks it all up. “Why’d you do that?” asks the first sponge. The second sponge replies, “I’m a fun sponge!”
23. A sponge decided to try a new career path and applied for a job at a hospital. However, the hiring manager said, “I’m afraid you just don’t have enough experience.” To which the sponge replied, “But I have lots of openings!”
24. Once there was a sponge who was always forgetting important dates. One day his friend Sea Star said, “Why don’t you write them on your hand so you don’t forget?” The next day, the sponge showed up with his whole arm covered in writing reminding him about random things. Sea Star facepalmed and said, “I think you missed the point.”
25. A retired sponge decided to take up gardening. He planted some seeds and carefully watered them each day. After a few weeks, tiny green shoots poked out from the soil. “Look at my little seedlings growing!” he said proudly to his friend Plankton. “Um, I think those are weeds actually,” replied Plankton. The sponge did not take criticism well.
26. There was once a sponge who loved eating cookies. One day he saw a flyer for a big cookie festival happening in a nearby town. He was so excited and just had to go. He followed his nose and finally found the cookie fairgrounds. But when he got there, it was completely deserted. Turns out he misunderstood the flyer – it was a kite festival after all.
27. A sponge got called for jury duty. During the trial he couldn’t concentrate at all and kept zoning out. Finally the judge said, “Please pay attention! This trial requires your absorbent attendance.”
28. Did you hear about the race between the sponges? It ended in a tie.
29. Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Because they’re shellfish!
30. What do you get if you cross ajoke with a rhetorical question?
31. I took my new girlfriend out on our first date last night. I took her to the laundromat. It turns out she doesn’t like being tumble dried.
32. What concert costs just 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback!

31. A sponge went to med school and became a practicing doctor. During his residency, he had trouble trying to soak up all that knowledge. But in the end he graduated at the top of his class and opened up his own practice. His motto was: “Healing starts from within.”
32. There was once a sponge named Sudsy who loved singing in the shower. One day she was overheard by a big shot music producer named Puff. He immediately offered her a record deal. Her first single “Soak It Up” was a total washout. But she kept soaking up knowledge and learning from her mistakes. Finally with her 5th album “Wet Behind the Ears” she had a breakthrough hit.
33. What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus!
34. I invented a new word today: Plagiarism!
35. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.
36. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
37. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador!
38. I tried to catch fog yesterday. Mist.
39. What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta!
40. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere!

40. A sponge and a starfish became unlikely best friends. Though from very different backgrounds, they bonded over their love of swimming, long walks on the beach, and keeping their neighborhood reef tidy. The sponge was more shy and liked to stay home and read books. The adventurous starfish was always dragging his pal to parties to try and get him to come out of his shell. Despite their differences, their friendship stood the test of tide.
41. Why can’t you trust atoms? They make up everything!
42. What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta!
43. I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
44. Why do mathematicians hate the U.S.? Because it has so many problems!
45. What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.
46. A plateau is the highest form of flattery.
47. I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
48. To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my Word!
49. What do you call a sorcerer who has lost his powers? A has-wizzerd!

50. A sponge walked into a bar feeling thirsty after a long day’s work. The bartender took one look at his damp appearance and soggy complexion and said, “Sorry pal, but I can’t serve you. You’re already saturated!”
51. Why don’t egos drink? Because they’re too full of themselves!
52. How do trees access the internet? They just log on!
53. My friend thinks he’s a traffic light. He’s actually just a few bulbs short of an intersection!
54. What concert costs 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback!
55. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised!