Spain Puns
- I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now. Just like Spain is free of drug-related crime.
- The Spaniards I know are very down to earth people. I guess you could say they keep their feet on the ground.
- A new restaurant opened up in Spain that serves traditional dishes with a modern twist. You could say it puts a new spin on Spanish cuisine.
- Did you hear about the angry bull that got into a Spain shop? He had a beef with the staff.
- I heard there’s a guy in Spain who swallowed a dictionary. Now he’s got a lot of vocabularies.
- My friend went to Spain and saw a restaurant called Tapas and Bottoms. He said the food was good but the seating was a little cheeky.
- What do you call a line of rabbits marching through Spain? A bunny parade.
- Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato in Spain? The lettuce was a head and the tomato tried to ketchup.
- A new organization started up in Spain to advocate for the rights of fruits and vegetables. It’s called Produce Justice.
- Two bikes decided to get married in Spain. It was a lovely bicycle wedding.
Spain One-Liners
- I went to a restaurant in Spain that had tapas but no tops – some interesting outfits on the wait staff!
- Spain is known for producing sherry, but I prefer mine quite contrary.
- I heard Spain is considering changing their currency to the euro, it sounds like it makes more cents.
- Did you hear about the angry chef in Spain? He beat some eggs and whipped the cream.
- I wanted to go sightseeing in Spain but my friend said Barcelona.
- The Flamenco dancers in Spain are amazing, they really know how to seize the Flamenco.
- Spain would be a basketball player’s paradise – imagine all the alley-oops in the alleys of Madrid.
- Spain must have great doctor’s considering all the Spanish revivals happening.
- Spain is a great place for artists, I hear they have masterpieces like Picasso everyday.
- You can say what you want about Spain, but don’t call it a pain.
Best Spain Jokes
21. An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some juggling tricks. The performer notices the four gentlemen have a less than enthusiastic expression on their faces so he starts making the challenge ever more difficult.
Still no change in their expressions. Eventually he’s doing the most incredibly difficult juggling trick anyone has ever seen. Finally the Englishman breaks the silence by saying, “That’s all very well but can you do it with 5 balls instead of just 3?” The performer nods his head and takes up the challenge, switching to 5 balls and performing even more amazingly intricate juggling tricks. The four gentlemen remain unimpressed.
Seeing he has failed to satisfy his toughest critics, the street performer opts to raise the stakes further by adding even more balls to his act. He juggles 6 balls, then 7 balls, then 8 balls. Just as he makes the move to 9 balls, he trips and drops everything. The balls bounce and scatter everywhere.
The performer is devastated, thinking his act is completely ruined. Yet to his surprise, the four gentlemen who had shown no emotion up to this point suddenly break out into rapturous applause and call him back for an encore. He’s baffled why his biggest critics are now his biggest fans.
He asks the Englishman, “Why haven’t you shown any appreciation up to this point, but now you’re wildly applauding my act?”
The Englishman replies, “Well old chap, to tell the truth we’ve seen better juggling in Spain.”
22. An American tourist is hiking in the Spanish countryside when he accidentally steps into a hole and breaks his leg. A farmer driving by in his cart spots the man in distress and offers to give him a ride into town to find a doctor. The American tourist gratefully accepts.
As they ride along, the farmer starts complaining about the situation in Spain. “The politicians are useless. No one wants to do real work anymore. The healthcare system is broken. Taxes are too high.”
The American nods along politely, but after 15 minutes of nonstop complaining, he interrupts. “I’m sorry, I know things aren’t perfect here,” he says, “but it seems like a nice country overall. The landscape is beautiful, the food is amazing, the people are friendly…”
The farmer rolls his eyes. “What would you know? You’re not from here.”
The American replies, “You’re right, I’m not from Spain. But I’m in Spain now, and I broke my leg here, and you were kind enough to help me. Rather than just notice what’s bad, I’m trying to appreciate what’s good.”
The farmer thinks about this and then nods. “I apologize for my complaining. You’re right – there is much to be thankful for here. Let me properly welcome you to our beautiful country.” And the two men continue their ride into town with a new perspective.
23. An American businessman was on a trip to Spain when his passport and wallet were stolen from his hotel room. He went to the local police station to file a report. An officer sat him down to take his statement. “Please describe the thief,” said the officer. The American shook his head and said, “I don’t know what he looked like. I didn’t actually see him.” The officer frowned in confusion. “Then how do you know your belongings were stolen?”
“Well,” said the American, “I know I had $500 in my wallet when I went to bed last night. And this morning when I woke up, it was gone. I’m 100% sure Spain took my 500 dollars!”
24. A Frenchman, an Englishman and a Spaniard are hiking through the jungle when they are captured by a fierce tribe. The tribe leader tells them, “Go into the jungle and bring back a fruit. We will then use your choice to determine your fate.”
The three men head into the jungle to find their fruit. The Frenchman returns with grapes, the Englishman with an apple, and the Spaniard returns with a pineapple.
The tribe leader says “Now, you must shove your fruit up your butt without making any expression at all on your face. If you can do this, you will be allowed to go free.”
The Frenchman shoves the grapes up his butt, but winces in pain. He is dragged away to be executed.
The Englishman shoves the apple up, but makes a faint grimace, and he too is dragged off.
The Spaniard shoves the pineapple up his butt without flinching. The tribe leader is amazed and says “You have passed the test. You are free to go.”
The Spaniard starts running off into the jungle. The tribe leader calls after him “Wait! You have proved your worth, so we will give you a boat ride back to the mainland.”
The Spaniard calls back “No way! Last time I got in a Spanish galleon with pineapples up my butt it took me 3 weeks to sit down again!”
25. A German, an American, and a Spaniard go out to eat one night. While having dinner, they get to talking about who has the best health care system in their country.
The German says, “In Germany, universal health care is guaranteed. No matter how sick you get, you will be treated.”
The American scoffs and says, “That’s nothing. In America, we have the most cutting edge medical facilities in the world. The rich and powerful from all over the globe come here for treatment.”
The Spaniard starts laughing. The others ask him what’s so funny. He says, “Healthcare shmealthcare. In Spain, people just focus on enjoying life while staying healthy through good food, wine, and dancing.”
They can’t argue with that outlook on keeping happy and healthy the natural way, so they all order another glass of sangria.
26. An English tourist is backpacking around Spain and decides to go on a hike through the countryside. He’s making his way through the trails when suddenly a ferocious bull comes charging at him. The man throws down his backpack, turns and runs as fast as he can and just barely manages to dive into a cave to escape the raging bull. He sits in the cave catching his breath when he notices old paintings on the walls. “I’ve discovered ancient cave art!” he exclaims. “This is an incredible find.” He starts snapping pictures on his phone. Just then the bull sticks his head in the cave and the Englishman shouts “Watch it now, that’s an antique!”
27. A Spanish magician is performing a magic show in front of a packed audience. For his final trick, he declares he will make himself disappear. He says “Uno, dos…” then steps behind a curtain and vanishes in a puff of smoke. The crowd erupts in thunderous applause. Meanwhile, backstage the magician starts to panic. He has no idea how to make himself reappear. He desperately starts waving his wand and reciting spells, but nothing works. He’s completely stumped. Suddenly, his assistant Pedro walks by and whispers the magic word in his ear: “Tres.”
28. Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in Spain? There was nothing but de brie.
29. Why do orphans make good Spain dancers? They’ve had no body to show them how to dance growing up.
30. Why don’t ants get sick in Spain? Because they have little anty bodies.
31. I recently visited a Spain restaurant where you eat in total darkness. I didn’t enjoy my meal very much. Worst of all, I couldn’t see the bill!
32. Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in Spain? There was nothing left but de brie.
33. I went on vacation to Spain last year. On my first day there I was robbed by a thief who only stole my soap and bath towels. The police told me they would look into it but not to expect them to find any real leads. It looks like this case will go without a towel culprit.
34. What did Spain say to Portugal? Nothing, countries can’t talk.
35. Why should you never iron a Spain flag? You don’t want to press your luck.
36. Did you hear about the angry Spain chef? He beat some eggs and whipped the cream.
37. What do you call someone who loves Spanish culture? Hispancrazy.
38. Why didn’t the Spainjacks grow in Spain? Because jack doesn’t grow in Spain, silly!
39. Why can’t you play Spain cards in Africa? Because of the Spainbarrier reef.
40. Did you hear about the claustrophobic Spain astronaut? He just needed a little space.
41. Why did the tomato turn red in Spain? It saw the salad dressing!
42. How do you fit 100 Spaniards in a phone booth? Tell them it’s a siesta.
43. What do you call a Spain dog magician? A labracadabrador.
44. Did you hear about the Spain dance group that got arrested? They were charged with impersonating a Fandango.
45. Why was the Spain doctor feeling unwell? He was Spainfluenced.
46. I went Spain spear fishing and narrowly escaped getting poked. But no worries, I dodged a Spanish Pointer!
47. Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher in Spain? He couldn’t control his pupils!
48. What do you call a bee from Spain? A Spain bee!
49. Did you hear about the magician on Spain TV who said he could make himself disappear on the count of three? He said “Uno, dos…” and vanished without a tres!
50. Why did the Spanish football team eat beans before every match? Because passing wind gives them a speed boost!