Spaghetti Puns
1. What do you call a blob of spaghetti sauce? An impasta!
2. Why was the spaghetti afraid? Because it pasta way it didn’t know!
3. What do you call a fake noodle? An im-pasta!
4. What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe? Roberto!
5. How does spaghetti get drunk? On whine!
6. Why don’t melons like to get married? Because they cantaloupe!
7. What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea? It gets wet!
8. What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? The same middle name!
9. Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta way.
10. What do you call a fake noodle? An Im-pasta!
11. What do you call cheese that doesn’t belong to you? Nacho cheese!
12. Why couldn’t the spaghetti win the race? Because it was a noodle in a haystack!
13. What did the Italian say when the waiter brought the wrong order? “That’s not what I ordered!”
14. What do you call an apology written in dots and lines? Re-morse code.
15. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels!
Spaghetti One-Liners
16. I tried making spaghetti in my clothes dryer, but it came out all wrinkled.
17. I entered my spaghetti in a cooking contest, but it didn’t make the cut.
18. My friend slipped on spilled spaghetti sauce – he really fell on hard thyme!
19. I tried to eat 490 strands of spaghetti in one minute – it was an epic noodle fail.
20. I ran out of marinara sauce, so I used ketchup on my spaghetti – it was impasta-ble!
21. Don’t step in that puddle, it’s just water under the fridge.
22. My ex got hit by a bus. At her funeral everyone was like “Oh no!” But in my head I was like “Oh yeah!”
23. I told my boyfriend we are more like ketchup and mustard than PB&J. He told me I’m just being condimental.
24. I wanted to write a joke about spaghetti, but the tomato sauce was too cheesy.
25. I entered my homemade spaghetti sauce in a cooking contest. It didn’t make the cut.
26. I spilled spaghetti sauce in my lap at dinner. It was a real red flag.
27. Don’t blame the noodles for being limp! Sometimes life just pasta that way.
28. My friend keeps telling me spaghetti jokes. I’m getting impasta-bly annoyed!
29. That’s amore like it! I finally found the perfect spaghetti recipe.
30. She was beauty, she was gravy. She was queen of the Italian buffet.
Best Spaghetti Jokes
31. Last night I dreamed that I was a muffler. I woke up exhausted!
32. Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He didn’t get hurt because it was a soft drink.
33. Why do scuba divers fall backwards out of boats? Because if they fell forwards they’d still be in the boat!
34. My friend thinks he is so smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.
35. I entered my dog in a food eating contest but had to take him out. He was gobbling everything up, the little Labrador retriever!
36. A piece of string walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says “Sorry buddy, we don’t serve strings here.” So the piece of string walks outside, ties himself in a knot, and messes up his hair. He walks back into the bar and orders another beer. The bartender squints at him and says “Hey, aren’t you that same piece of string from before?” The string replies “No, I’m a frayed knot!”
37. What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
38. I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
39. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.
40. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
41. What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.
42. My friend thinks he is so smart – he told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.
43. I told my carpenter I didn’t want carpeted steps. He gave me a blank stair.
44. Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.
45. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.