Snowman Puns (12)
- What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite!
- Why was the snowman looking in the bag of carrots? He was picking his nose!
- Why don’t you see many snowmen in England? Because they’re afraid of the snow blower!
- My friend got hit in the head with a snowball. He was chilled to the bone.
- What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Snowflakes and ice cream!
- What kind of diet does a snowman follow? The melt and pound plan!
- Why do snowmen make good bartenders? They know how to chill.
- How do snowmen get to work? They ride an icicle!
- How do you know when there’s a snowman in your bed? You wake up wet!
- What’s a snowman’s favorite lunch? Iceburgers and chilli!
- How do snowmen communicate? With snow phones!
- How do you fix a broken snowman? Use ice packs!
Snowman One-Liners (10)
- I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
- My snowman girlfriend broke up with me. I was crushed!
- Don’t tell snowman jokes to Eskimos. They’ll just leave you out in the cold.
- I made a snowman army, but they all deserted.
- Be quiet or you’ll wake up Frosty!
- Watch out for the abominable snowman. I hear he’s a real yeti.
- If you see a paramedic carrying a snowman, he must be taking him to the ER for re-frosting.
- My snowman cried when he saw the hairdryer. He was having a meltdown.
- I saw a sad snowman, so I said “Chin up!” That seemed to break the ice.
- The snow dancing competition was rigged. The winner was a snowballerina.
Best Snowman Jokes (15)
One winter morning, a husband and wife were having an argument about who should get up and make the coffee. The husband said, “In the spirit of holiday compromise, why don’t we build a snowman to decide? Whoever the snowman faces when done, has to make the coffee.” The wife agreed and they both got dressed and went outside. After an hour of rolling snowballs and stacking them on top of each other, they completed the snowman. The husband turned to his wife and said, “Well would you look at that! The snowman is facing your way. Guess you better get moving and make that coffee!”
A man was driving down the highway one winter when he saw a snowman on the side of the road holding a sign. As he got closer, he could see that the sign said “Turn around, this way to Snowville!” Thinking it was a cute holiday joke, the man turned at the next exit. As he drove down the road, he saw another snowman holding another sign that said “Stay on this road for Snowville.” He continued driving and saw snowman after snowman pointing the way to Snowville. Finally he reached a tiny little town which was completely decorated for the holidays with lights, wreaths, and snowmen everywhere. In the center of town was one final snowman holding a sign that said “Welcome to Snowville, population: 8. Enjoy your stay!”
One day a man decided to build a snowman as big as a house. He rolled up giant snowballs and stacked them on top of each other until they reached the roof of his two story house. He put on a hat, some coal, a carrot nose and sticks for arms. He was so excited about his enormous snowman that he called the local newspaper and TV station to come document it. A news anchor came to report the story and just stared bewildered at the snowman, not sure what to say on air. Finally he turned to the camera and said, “Well folks, that snowman is so big, I’m simply at a loss for words.”
Three snowmen were standing in a field when they spotted a human headed their way. The first snowman cried, “Oh no, that human is wearing a hat just like mine. Run!” The second snowman said, “Don’t worry, my nose is a carrot just like that human’s.” The third snowman laughed, “Hey you guys, I’m wearing sunglasses so that human won’t even recognize me!”
Two snowmen were having a conversation one winter day. The first snowman said, “Can you smell carrots?” The second snowman looked confused and replied, “No, I can’t smell anything because I’m just a snowman and don’t have a nose!”
One December night it was snowing heavily. A man heard a knock at his door and when he answered it, he found a snowman on his front porch. The snowman said “My name is Frank and I need somewhere to stay. Can I crash here tonight?” The man was confused but being a good samaritan, he let the snowman inside. The snowman immediately plopped down on the couch and turned on the TV. He helped himself to some food in the kitchen and even used the shower. The man just stood there astonished, unsure of what to do about his new guest. The next morning, the snowman had left but he left a note saying “Thanks for letting me stay, see you next December if I don’t melt by then!”
Three snowmen were discussing their dreams one day. The first snowman said, “My dream is to drive a race car.” The second snowman said, “My dream is to be an airplane pilot.” The third snowman said, “My dream is to be a professional boxer.” The other snowmen giggled and asked how he could ever achieve that dream without arms. The third snowman snapped back, “Hey, don’t knock it before you try it!”
Once there was a legendary snowman who rolled giant snowballs every winter to build the perfect snowman. But one year he rolled so many snowballs that he accidentally made a huge snow boulder that destroyed the town hall! The mayor was not happy and ordered for the snowman to be arrested. As punishment, he was forced to sit in a jail cell until he melted in the springtime. Now children are told the tale of the abominable snowman to teach them not to get carried away with their snowmen.
A man moved from Texas to Alaska and was excited to build his first snowman. He made a huge snowman with a cowboy hat, boots, a lasso and even a sheriff’s badge. The next day when he went outside, he saw the snowman with its arms up and the lasso tied around a moose’s neck! On the ground was a note that said, “I’m taking this here moose to the hoosegow for trespassing. No need to thank me, just doing my duty! Deputy Snowman.”
One winter morning, a woman opened her front door only to find a family of snowpeople standing on her front porch – two snowmen, a snowmom and a small snowchild. The snowmom said, “Good morning ma’am. We hope you don’t mind us dropping by, but we’re new to the neighborhood.” The confused woman replied, “Of course not…make yourselves at home!” She watched in shock as the snowfamily entered her living room and sat down on the couch. The snowchild smiled and said, “Could we get some hot cocoa? It’s pretty chilly out there today!”
A snowman went to the animal doctor because he wasn’t feeling well. After a thorough exam, the doctor said, “I’m afraid all your symptoms point to one diagnoses – you have low frost pressure.” The snowman gasped, “That sounds serious doctor! Will I survive?” The doctor smiled and said, “Just stay out of the sun and make sure to drink plenty of ice water. You’ll be fine!” The snowman left the office relieved that he wasn’t in danger of melting.
