Sneakers Puns (10)
- I entered a sneaker design contest, but sadly I didn’t make the cut.
- My friend got fired from the sneaker factory. Apparently he just couldn’t toe the line.
- Did you hear about the angry sneakers? They were upset because people kept walking all over them!
- Why don’t sneakers ever win arguments? Because they have no sole.
- What do you call a sneaker with great comedic timing? A punny shoe.
- Sneakers have good sole but bad tongue.
- What do you call a sneaker from the future? A time traveler’s shoes.
- Why don’t sneakers make good therapists? They give bad advice from their soles.
- Sneakers that glow in the dark get their power from shoe-pernatural forces.
- What do you call shoes that hug your feet? Vel-crocs!
Sneakers One-Liners (12)
- My sneakers are so worn out, there’s no sole left!
- These sneakers cost an arm and a leg, but look like they were made by a foot!
- They say you have to walk a mile in someone’s sneakers to understand them, but mine don’t fit anyone else!
- My sneakers are like boomerangs – I keep throwing them out but they keep coming back.
- I was disappointed when my sneakers didn’t give me super speed. False advertising!
- My friend claims he once outran a cheetah while wearing his sneakers. I think he’s lion.
- I ordered fast sneakers online but when they arrived, the delivery was slow!
- My sneakers are neon yellow so people can see me when I run at night. Daylight glowing!
- I wear mismatched sneakers so people think I’m crazy and won’t mess with me.
- My lucky sneakers aren’t working. I wore them to buy a lottery ticket and still lost!
- I told my sneakers we need to have a talk, I think they’re two-faced!
- My sneakers make squeaking noises so I pretend I have a pet mouse.
Best Sneakers Jokes (41)
13. I was out shopping for new sneakers when the store clerk convinced me to try their latest light-up high tops. At first I resisted buying such flashy shoes, but eventually he managed to sway me. I guess those sneakers were made for walkin’ and talkin’ me into it!
14. My friend got a great new job at the sneaker factory downtown. He has good sole but still can’t afford to buy any of the products he makes all day! I told him not to worry about it and just focus on putting his best foot forward.
15. Why don’t sneakers ever win races? Because they always come in shoes!
16. Did you hear about the podiatrist who was arrested for selling narcotics? Apparently he was dealing shoes out the back door!
17. I was shocked when I found out my sneakers were in debt. Who knew they had such bad shoe credit!
18. My parents told me money doesn’t grow on trees so I planted my sneakers in the backyard and now I’m waiting for shoe-dollar bills!
19. What do sneakers and bad jokes have in common? They both get boos!
20. Why can’t sneakers be trusted? Because they are always up to new tricks!
21. Did you hear about the race between the sneakers and high heels? The heels were disqualified for improper footwear!
22. Why do sneakers make bad criminals? Because they always leave prints behind!
23. What do you call a sneaker with no laces? A flop!
24. Why did the kid throw butter out his window? He wanted to see a butterfly!
25. Two sneakers walk into a shoe store to buy some loafers. The clerk says “I’m sorry, we don’t serve lace-to-toes here!”
26. My sneakers are terrible dancers. All they ever do is shoe-ffle!
27. What did one sneaker say to comfort the other sneaker? “There there…”
28. Did you hear about the designer who only makes one shoe? He likes to keep things on a need-to-know basis!
29. Why can’t sneakers be shy? Because they’re made to be outgoing!
30. What do you call a sneaker with no friends? A lone shoe!
31. Why do Nikes make good taxis? Because they just swoosh you around!
32. What kind of shoes can jump higher than the average house? Any kind! Houses can’t jump!
33. Why do birds fly south for the winter? Because it’s too far to walk!
34. What do you call a shoe made out of a banana? A slipper!
35. Did you hear about the explosion at the shoe factory? Hundreds of soles were lost!
36. Why are Air Jordans so expensive? Because they’re always jumpin’ for joy about their prices!
37. What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneak-ers!
38. Why can’t you tell secrets to sneakers? Because they will spread it by word-of-foot!
39. Did you hear about the optometrist who fell into the lens grinding machine? He made a spectacle of himself!
40. I can’t believe I failed my exam just because of my squeaky sneakers. The proctor said they were cheating on my shoes!
41. Why do sneakers stick together in bad situations? Because they know to stick up for their sole mates when times get rough!
42. What do you call a sneaker with the flu? A sick shoe!
43. Why are sneakers so happy-go-lucky? Because they lace every day with optimism!
44. Did you hear about the mob boss who dumped concrete on someone’s sneakers? It was a classic shoe-cide!
45. I entered my sneakers in a cooking contest but they didn’t win. Turns out they weren’t made for kitchen work, just casual loafing!
46. What did one sneaker say to the other before their big date? “I’m shoenervous!”
47. Why don’t sneakers snitch on each other? They refuse to be rats and put their fellow footwear behind bars!
48. Did you hear about the sneakers who brew illegal footwear? Yeah, apparently they’re boot-leggers!
49. I told my sneakers we weren’t working out together anymore. It was time to start running with someone else!
50. What do call a deer with no sneakers? Bare-hooved!
51. Why can’t sneaker factories have fire drills? Because their employees only know how to make shoes, not put them out!
52. Why do leprechauns wear such pointy sneakers? So they can get their foot in the door when opportunities arise!
53. Did you hear about the snakes that escaped from the zoo in a pair of sneakers? Police are hunting high and low for the reptile felons!
54. I’m no podiatrist, but I do have a bit of a foot fetish. I guess sneakers just really get my shoes on!
