Shovel Puns
1. I bought my shovel at a yard sale. It was dirt cheap!
2. What did the shovel say to the face? Slap!
3. My shovel is very nosy. It’s always digging up dirt.
4. I was going to tell a joke about shovels, but it was too dirty.
5. Why do shovels make bad psychologists? They dig too deep.
6. What do you call a shovel that solves mysteries? Sherlock Holmes.
7. Did you hear about the angry shovel? It has a short temper.
8. Why was the shovel hungry? It had an empty stomach.
9. What do you call a shovel that works at a farm? A pitch-fork.
10. Why was the shovel exhausted after work? It was dead tired.
11. My shovel and I have a complicated relationship. We have our ups and downs.
12. What did the police say when they caught the shovel stealing? You’re under a dig.
Shovel One-Liners
13. I’m so broke I can’t even pay attention, let alone afford a shovel.
14. My shovel is so old, it belongs in a museum…or the trash.
15. Shovels are great at digging holes, bad at filling them back up.
16. Don’t underestimate the power of a shovel – with one swing it can lift your spirits or bury you in grief.
17. Shovels: Helping people unearth what’s important since 4000 BC.
18. Shovels have commitment issues – they’re constantly ditching their partners.
19. Shovels may build character, but so do therapists and that hurts less.
20. My shovel and I have an on-and-off relationship – we periodically dig up old issues.
21. Shovel your way to happiness: dig up memories with friends, bury grievances together.
22. A shovel a day keeps the problems at bay – or at least in a 6ft hole.
Best Shovel Jokes
23. A man was out shoveling snow from his driveway when his neighbor walked by. “Hey Bob, where’s your shovel?” the neighbor asked. Bob replied sarcastically, “Some joker took it.”
The neighbor looked confused and said “How could someone take a shovel that you’re holding in your hands right now?”
Bob smacked his forehead with his palm and exclaimed, “Dang it! Now the shovel thief has my snowblower too!”
24. Jake was walking home from school when he saw an old rusty shovel lying in a ditch. He picked it up and started pretending to dig holes in the dirt. After a few minutes of playing, the shovel suddenly slipped out of his hands and whacked him right in the head!
“Ouch!” Jake yelled, rubbing his sore head. Then he shook his fist at the shovel and shouted, “You really CRACKED me up!”
25. Sam was gardening in his backyard when he accidentally stepped on the metal spade of his shovel. The handle flew up and conked him on the nose.
“Yowch!” Sam hollered, grabbing his throbbing nose. Just then, his neighbor Bill popped his head over the fence and asked if Sam was alright.
“I’m fine,” Sam sighed. “I just got WHACKED by my own shovel. You could say I literally hit rock BOTTUM today.”
Bill laughed at the silly shovel puns and said, “Don’t worry, everyone has their UPS and DOWNS in the garden!”
26. Kelly was hiking through the woods when she tripped on a tree root and face-planted into a big muddy puddle. As she stood up spluttering and trying to wipe the mud from her eyes, she noticed an old rusty shovel stuck in the ground nearby.
“A shovel!” Kelly said excitedly, grabbing it. “Now I can dig myself out of this situation!”
She started desperately scooping up mud with the shovel, but the heavy wet dirt kept plopping off the broken shovel head back into the puddle. The more she dug, the deeper she sank into the mud.
Finally Kelly dropped the useless shovel with a defeated sigh. “I guess the only way I’m getting out of this puddle is if someone lends me a HAND!” she joked to herself.
Covered head to toe in mud, Kelly trudged back home leaving the shovel buried and forgotten in the messy puddle.
27. Jane was gardening when she saw a big hairy spider crawling up her shiny new shovel. She hated spiders!
“Eww, get off my shovel you creepy crawly!” Jane yelled. She shook the shovel vigorously until the spider went flying off into the grass.
Just then, the shovel slipped out of Jane’s hands. As she reached out to catch it, the handle whacked her right on the forehead!
“Ow!” Jane rubbed her sore head. She glared at the shovel lying in the dirt. “Real nice way to show your GRATITUDE after I just saved you from that spider!” she scolded.
Jane picked up the shovel and held it carefully with both hands. “I guess I should thank you for reminding me not to judge based on appearances,” she said with a shrug.
The shiny shovel glinted in the sun, as if winking at her. Jane laughed and got back to planting her flowers, a little wiser thanks to the misadventures of one muddy shovel!
28. Tom was digging a trench in his backyard when his shovel suddenly hit something hard. “That’s weird, I don’t remember burying anything back here,” Tom muttered. He got down on his hands and knees and gently brushed away the dirt with his fingers.
To his surprise, Tom uncovered a small antique-looking box made of rusted tin. The edges were dented and the hinges covered in caked mud, but it was still tightly sealed shut. Engraved on the lid was a name – Jack
“No way!” Tom exclaimed in disbelief. He had heard stories about his great-grandfather Jack burying a time capsule in the backyard over 60 years ago, but his family had never been able to find it despite many attempts.
With shaking hands, Tom carefully pried open the box’s stiff lid. Inside was a wrinkled envelope with the words “To my future family” written on it… along with Jack’s beloved golden shovel.
“You finally led me to the treasure, old pal,” Tom said with a smile, patting the battered shovel. He eagerly pocketed the letter and rushed inside, eager to share this shovelsome discovery with his parents!
29. Little Timmy loved playing with his toy shovel and bucket at the beach. He would spend hours happily digging holes in the sand, feeling like a mighty builder constructing great castles and trenches.
One day, Timmy was busy digging the deepest hole he could when a huge wave suddenly swept onto the shore, filling his hole with water and yanking the shovel right out of his hands!
“Nooo!” Timmy yelled, watching helplessly as the plastic shovel bobbed away in the surf. He ran after it into the water but the currents were too strong.
Just as Timmy was about to burst into tears over his lost shovel, a little voice piped up beside him. “Here, you can borrow my shovel if you want,” said a girl holding out a bright red sand shovel with a smile.
Timmy beamed as he took the offered shovel. “Thanks!” he said gratefully. With the help of his new shovel friend, Timmy’s hole was soon bigger and better than ever!
30. Martha was planting flowers in the community garden when her old rusty shovel suddenly snapped in half! Dirt spilled everywhere as she held the useless broken tool and frowned. How was she supposed to finish planting without a shovel?
Just then, Martha’s neighbor Luis walked up holding his own new shovel. “Need some help?” he asked kindly. Luis lent Martha his fancy blue shovel so she could scoop the rest of the dirt into place and pat the earth firmly around her flower roots.
“Thank you so much!” said Martha. “I couldn’t have planted these without your shovel. It really saved the daisies!”
Luis just tipped his cap and took back his shovel with a grin. “It ain’t the tool that matters most,” he said wisely, “but having good neighbors who’ll lend you one in times of need.”
Martha nodded in agreement, waving fondly as Luis ambled away. She made a mental note to do something nice for Luis later to show her gratitude for such a neighborly, shovel-sharing gesture.
