Short People Puns
1. I tried to warn my short friend that it was going to rain, but it went right over his head.
2. My short colleague got angry when I made fun of his height. I guess he came up short on patience.
3. I told my short friend to cheer up and look on the bright side. He said he couldn’t reach it.
4. I saw a short person at the grocery store struggling to reach something on the top shelf. I wanted to give him a hand, but he came up short.
5. I went to an amusement park with my short friend, but he wasn’t tall enough to ride any of the rides. It was a roller coaster of emotions.
6. My short friend was jumping up and down trying to see over a fence. I told him to just wait a minute, something little would come along.
7. I asked my short friend how the weather was up there. He said it was a little chilly.
8. I saw a short person trying to paint his ceiling. I offered to help him reach the high spots. He said he could handle it but thanks for looking down on him.
9. I saw a short person using a step stool to reach something. I said, “Do you need a boost?” He said, “No thanks, I’ll step up when I need to.”
10. I asked my short friend if his nose was feeling ok. He said it was a little stuffy down there.
Short People One-Liners
11. I was going to tell my short friend a joke about the ceiling, but it would probably go over his head.
12. My short friend got a job as a limbo dancer – it was right up his alley.
13. I saw a short person trying to dunk a basketball. Let’s just say he came up a little short.
14. I saw a short person at the grocery store. He was checking out the bottom shelf.
15. I knew a short person who went to the circus – he said the view was in-tents.
16. A short person walked into a bar and ordered a tall beer.
17. A short person applied to be a lifeguard but didn’t meet the height requirement.
18. A short person went fishing but didn’t need a high chair.
19. How does a short person get into their home? They use a little key.
20. Why was the short person upset when they got on the bus? They felt looked down upon.
Best Short People Jokes
21. One day a short person got tired of people making fun of his height. He got some bricks and stood on them, then shouted at the next person who walked by, “Hey, up here! I’m up here! How’s the weather down there?”
22. A short person walked into a bar and the bartender asked, “Why the long face?” The short person replied, “I’m not long, I’m short!”
23. A family walks into an elevator. There is a mother, father, and their young short son. As they get in, the son looks up at his parents and says, “When I grow up, I want to be a light switch!” The parents look down at him confused. “Why do you want to be a light switch?” they ask. The son smiles and responds, “Because light switches are always high up!”
24. A short person went to the zoo and wanted to see the giraffes, but they were too tall for him to see over the fence. So he asks one of the zookeepers if they have a smaller giraffe he can look at. The zookeeper says, “No, but we do have a short giraffe you can look down on.”
25. Why don’t short people need internet? Because everything they need to know is on the first page of Google.
26. Why are cemeteries so popular with short people? Because people are just dying to get in there.
27. What do you call a short person who commits crimes? A little offender.
28. Why don’t short people play mini golf? Because to them, it’s just regular golf.
29. Why can’t short people be pharmacists? Because they can’t reach the top shelf.
30. How do short people get up to the apartment on the top floor? They take the ele-vator.
31. Why don’t short people take the elevator? They prefer to raise themselves up.
32. Why did the short person wear platform shoes to work? She wanted to climb up the corporate ladder.
33. What’s the best part about being short? You always look up to people.
34. How do short people save money on haircuts? By getting short hair.
35. Why was the short girl crying? Because she felt little inside.
36. Where do short people shop for pants? The petite section.
37. How do short people get taller? They grow a little.
38. What do you call a doctor who is short? A general practitioner.
39. Why did the short person have a sore neck? Because they spent too much time looking up.
40. Why did the short person win the limbo contest? Because they were very low to the ground.
41. What’s the difference between a short brunette and a short blonde? About 6 inches!
42. Why was the short basketball player so good at dribbling? Because the ball was always close to the floor.
43. Why don’t short people skydive? They’re not made for high jumping.
44. Why are short people always grumpy? Because they have a lot on their little minds.
45. Did you hear about the short waiter? He always comes up short on tips.
