Sea Turtle Puns (15)
1. What do you call a sea turtle that loves to read? A book shelf!
2. Why don’t sea turtles like riding roller coasters? They’re not fans of the shells and dips.
3. Why did the sea turtle cross the road? To get to the shell station.
4. What do you call a sea turtle that works as a bartender? A shell-tender!
5. Why don’t sea turtles ever pay full price for things? They always find good shell-ebration deals.
6. How does a sea turtle stay connected underwater? With shell-ular service.
7. What do you call a group of sea turtle comedians? Shells of laughter.
8. Why are sea turtles terrible drivers? They only know how to shell-ter and turn.
9. What do you call a sea turtle that sells hot dogs? A shell-dog vendor!
10. Why was the sea turtle employee fired from the seafood restaurant? He was shell-fish and kept taking home leftovers.
11. How do sea turtles stay warm in winter? With heated shells.
12. What do you call a new-age sea turtle? A yogi in the shell.
13. Why do sea turtles make great philosophers? They’re deep in shell.
14. What kind of products do sea turtles buy most? Shell-tzer water and shell-aca.
15. Why are sea turtles good at saving money? They know how to shell-ter their wealth.
Sea Turtle One-Liners (15)
16. Sea turtles always come back to the same beaches to lay eggs each year – they like to return to their shell-roots.
17. Sea turtles have a hard time figuring out their shells from their tails – it’s all rear end to them.
18. Sea turtles love grazing on seagrass and algae – you could say it’s their shell-food diet.
19. Sea turtles can hold their breath for hours – they’re shell-fish when it comes to sharing oxygen.
20. Sea turtles sleep on the ocean floor – it’s lights out in their shell-ters.
21. Sea turtles swim thousands of miles every year to nest – they really go the shell distance.
22. Sea turtles havescales for skin – you could say they’re beyond shell-ief.
23. Sea turtles can live over 100 years – they really take slow and shell down to heart.
24. Sea turtles have strong jaws for crunching through shells – they’re not shell-acking in the bite department.
25. Sea turtles often get their nests raided – protecting eggs is their Achilles shell.
26. Sea turtles have amazing navigation abilities – they really know how to take the shell roads.
27. Sea turtles can weigh up to 2000 pounds – that’s a whole lot of shell shock.
28. Sea turtles are ancient creatures, around for 200 million years – you could say they’re shell-ebrating their pre-shell-oric heritage.
29. Seven different sea turtle species exist today – shell-ebrating shell-iversity.
30. Sea turtles often choke on plastic pollution – a tragic shell-tastrophe.
Best Sea Turtle Jokes (45)
31. What do you call a sea turtle who does karate? A shell-jitsu master!
32. What do sea turtles use to cut their food? Shell-vers.
33. How does a sea turtle shell-ebrate turning 100 years old? With a big shell-abration party.
34. Why are sea turtles so bad at playing musical instruments? They only know how to shell-bang on drums.
35. What’s a sea turtle’s favorite salad dressing? Ranch, ob-shell-y.
36. What’s a sea turtle’s favorite speak easy password? Shell-ter skelter.
37. How does a sea turtle stay in shape? By doing shell-ups, lunges and cardio on the shell mill.
38. Why don’t sea turtles trust banks? Because of their shell-ics and cheques practices.
39. What do you call a sea turtle who loves to read mystery novels? Shell-locked Holmes.
40. Why do sea turtles make great scientists? They have a penchant for shell-ution.
41. What do you call a sea turtle who works as a therapist? A shell-chiatrist.
42. Why don’t sea turtles play chess? They don’t know how to counter shell-ebrated moves like castling.
43. What’s a sea turtle’s favorite yoga pose? The Shell-ute to the Sun.
44. Why did the sea turtle’s comedy act get cancelled? His shell antics didn’t shell well.
45. What do you call a psychic sea turtle? A shell-ium.
46. How does a sea turtle spy on enemies? By using shell-noculars.
47. Why are sea turtles so messy? They have shell-diagnosed OCD.
48. What happens when a sea turtle breaks up with its partner? Their shell-ationship ends.
49. Why was the sea turtle voted prom king? He was the most shell-ular.
50. How does a sea turtle treat a burn? With aloe-shell-vera gel.
51. Why are sea turtles awesome party guests? They bring their shells to the party.
52. What do you call a sea turtle who loves hiking and kayaking? An outdoor shell-thusiast.
53. Where do sea turtles go for vacation? Shell-ifornia or the Shell-ahamas.
54. Why do sea turtles hate dry heat? It totally dries out their shells.
55. What do you call a sea turtle that works as a judge? Your shell-nor.
56. Why do sea turtles have trouble reaching things on high shelves? The armoire is too much for their little arms and legs.
57. What kind of car does a sea turtle drive? A Shell-vy.
58. Why are sea turtles so into horoscopes? They love having their shells read.
59. What do sea turtles use to treat acne? Shell-lar water.
60. Why was the sea turtle so exhausted after a day on the beach? Too much shell-fie taking.
61. Why did the sea turtle’s phone stop working? It ran out of shell-lular data.
62. How does a sea turtle call for help? They shell 911.
63. Why do sea turtles love dancing the tango? The shells movements really resonate with them.
64. What music do sea turtles love listening to? Shell & B.
65. Why are sea turtles such wine snobs? They have shell-fined taste.
66. What’s a sea turtle’s favorite workout? Shell-ates.
67. How does a sea turtle stay connected to the internet? With shell-fi.
68. Why did the sea turtle’s Tinder date go poorly? He was too much in his shell.
69. How does a sea turtle defend itself? Karate shell-ops!
70. Why did the sea turtle crawl into his shell? He was feeling shy and needed a shell-ter.
71. What did the sea turtle name his two sons? Shell-don and Shell-by.
72. Why are sea turtles awful at sharing? They’re shell-fish creatures.
73. What’s a sea turtle’s favorite hobby? Shell-llecting sand dollars.
74. Where does a sea turtle go on vacation? The Shell-ibbean Islands!
75. What do you call a sea turtle fortune teller? A shell-zeer.
