Scarves + Puns
- I asked my scarf if it wanted to hear a joke, but it just wrapped around my neck and choked.
- My scarf collection is out of control. I need to reign it in before I’m found guilty of scarf trafficking.
- I was cold so I put on my favorite scarf, but it didn’t warm me up. I guess it was a missed oppor-tunity.
- I entered my homemade scarf into a knitting competition. Sadly, it didn’t make the cut.
- My friend bought a new scarf but returned it the next day. I guess it just wasn’t her style.
- I was going to return my itchy wool scarf, but the salesperson convinced me to give it another shot. I guess some things just grow on you.
- After searching everywhere, I finally found where I left my favorite scarf – it was there the whole time, right under my nose.
- My scarf collection was out of control, so I decided to downsize. Now I feel like I have more neck room to breathe.
- I was so excited when I found a vintage designer scarf at the thrift store. Turns out, it wasn’t authentic. I got scammed!
- I asked my friend if her new scarf was made of boyfriend material. She laughed and said “don’t hold your breath!”
Scarves + One-liners
- This scarf is so itchy, it must be allergic to me.
- My scarf collection is out of control…I need an intervention!
- This handmade scarf took me a month to finish. My friend said, “That’s a long time!”
- Free scarf-fitting with every purchase! Please leave your neck at the counter.
- Scarf weather is my favorite season – I can finally wear my collection!
- A messy closet is a scarf’s paradise.
- Does this scarf match my outfit? Let me wrap it around your neck to see!
- Scarf sale today only! Don’t miss out on cozy deals.
- My scarf tried to strangle me. Maybe it’s time I give it some space.
- Trust me, you can never own too many scarves.
Best Scarf Jokes
20. I was running late for work when I realized I forgot my scarf at home. I ran back inside and searched everywhere – under the couch, in the closet, even in the fridge. Just as I was about to give up, my cat strolled into the room, my scarf dangling from his mouth. That little furball was trying to steal my signature accessory! Let’s just say I gave him quite the stern talking to.
21. My friend gifted me a scarf she knitted herself for my birthday. I was so touched by the meaningful gift that I decided to wear it to work the next day. As soon as I stepped into the office, my boss said “Nice scarf, did you make it yourself?” I confidently replied, “Why yes, I did!” The look of impression on my boss’ face made that little white lie totally worth it.
22. I was riding the subway on a chilly winter day when an elderly woman got on carrying bags of groceries. She was only wearing a light jacket, so I offered her my scarf. At first she refused, but I insisted and wrapped it gently around her neck. She squeezed my hand and said “God bless you.” My heart melted. As she left the train, she turned around and waved one last time, her cheeks rosy beneath the red knitted scarf.
23. My sister loves buying quirky scarves from thrift stores and garage sales. Last week, she showed up to family dinner wearing a neon orange, zebra print monstrosity. We all stared in shock until my dad finally said “Sweetheart, that scarf is…interesting. It definitely makes a statement.” We all burst out laughing. You gotta love my sister’s bold fashion sense!
24. I was taking a peaceful stroll in the park when a man suddenly ran by and snatched the scarf right off my neck! Before I could even react, a dog walker nearby saw what happened. He whistled for his dog who took off like a bullet, chased down the thief, and retrieved my scarf from his hands. What an amazing pet! The dog walker returned my scarf with an apology and I rewarded his dog with lots of belly rubs.
25. When I was a kid, my grandma knitted me a massive rainbow scarf that trailed almost to the floor. I loved that crazy scarf so much, I wore it everywhere – to school, the mall, even to bed! The scarf may have gotten me some weird looks, but it kept me cozy and always reminded me of grandma’s love.
26. One winter morning, I headed out wearing my favorite cashmere scarf. When a huge gust of wind blew in, the scarf went flying off my neck and into the busy street. As cars zoomed by, I helplessly watched it get caught under a moving taxi. To my surprise, the driver stopped, got out, and retrieved my scarf from under his car. He returned it with a smile, tipped his hat, and drove off into the blizzard. My faith in humanity was restored!
27. On my first date with my now husband, I decided to class it up by wearing a silk Hermes scarf. Everything was going great until he playfully tugged on it over dessert and it landed right in my bowl of chocolate ice cream! He was mortified, but I laughed it off saying “It’s just a little chocolate, don’t worry!” We’re now married with three kids, and he still teases me about our sweetly disastrous first date.
28. One day my friend came over wearing a scarf I had gifted her months ago. When I asked if she liked it, she squirmed and admitted she hid it in the back of her closet because it wasn’t her taste. We had a good laugh about our difference in style, and I told her not to feel guilty – the best part of a gift is that someone thought of you! Moral of the story: Be honest, but be kind when you don’t love a gift.
29. On a whim, I entered my hand-knitted scarf into the county fair competition. I figured it would just get lost among the hundreds of entries. But to my disbelief, I won a Blue Ribbon! My scarf now hangs proudly framed on my wall, proving that you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. Just go for it!
30. One winter morning, I came downstairs to find our puppy had untied the scarf from around my neck while I slept and was dragging it around the house. When he saw me, he froze like a deer in headlights, my scarf still in his mouth. We had a little tug-of-war as I tried to get it back from him, but his puppy grip was just too strong. I still can’t stay mad though – he’s just too cute!
31. My grandpa was quite the character and loved wearing vibrant Hawaiian shirts and straw hats everywhere. For his 75th birthday, I knitted him a rainbow scarf to match his colorful personality. When he unwrapped it, his face lit up with joy. He wore that scarf everywhere until he passed away years later. It was his favorite accessory and always reminded us of his bright spirit.
32. One day, my friend came to work with a hideous tartan scarf tied around her neck. I discreetly pulled her aside and said, “Girl, that scarf is rough…what were you thinking?” She laughed and revealed that her kindergartener picked it out that morning to “complete” her outfit. What can I say, you gotta love that youthful confidence! I still give her grief about the infamous “kindergartener scarf” to this day.
33. My grandma loved knitting scarves for all the grandkids each Christmas. One year, she made me a striped red and white one that was so long it wrapped around my neck three times. I must have looked ridiculous but didn’t care one bit. I loved that scarf so much, I pretended it was my superhero cape and wore it everywhere that winter. Thanks grandma for fueling my imagination!
34. One winter day, I saw a homeless man shivering on the street with no coat or scarf. I walked over and wrapped my own scarf around his neck. He looked up with the saddest eyes and said “Are you an angel?” I smiled and told him to stay warm. Little acts of kindness can mean the world to someone going through a tough time.
35. I’ll never forget the time my friend’s scarf got caught in the escalator at the mall. She panicked as it started dragging her downward. Thankfully, a quick-thinking security guard hit the emergency stop button. We both erupted into laughter, half out of shock and half out of relief. So remember – escalators equal scarf hazards!
36. One winter morning, I hastily wrapped a scarf around my neck before rushing off to work. Midway through my commute I realized something felt weird. I looked down to see I was wearing my dog’s leash instead of a scarf! No wonder I was getting some odd looks. Moral of the story: Always double check your accessories before leaving home.
37. My girlfriend loves buying me scarves, but her taste is always hit or miss. Last Christmas, she got me a wool plaid one that would put any hipster lumberjack to shame. I tried to be enthusiastic when I opened it, though the look on my face probably betrayed my true feelings. Next time, I might just send her some “suggestive hints” to subtly steer her in the right direction!
38. One winter morning, I grabbed a cozy scarf before heading out. However, when the bitter cold hit, I realized it provided zero warmth. My “scarf” was actually just a decorative table runner I had mistakenly grabbed! Let’s just say I learned the hard way that form doesn’t always follow function when it comes to accessories.
39. I’ll never forget the time I wore a silk scarf to a job interview which I thought brought a nice touch of sophistication. However, the AC vent was directly above me, and five minutes into the interview, my scarf was blowing wildly all over the place. I was desperately grabbing at it while trying to maintain eye contact and answer questions. Moral of the story: Always account for wind tunnels when accessorizing!
