What do you call a rugby player who always talks about themselves? A me, me, me!
Why don’t eggs play rugby? They’d get scrambled.
What’s a rugby player’s favorite planet? Trypiter.
Why can’t you tell a joke to a rugby ball? Because it will never get the punchline.
Did you hear about the rugby player who lost their legs? They’re kicking themselves over it now.
What did one rugby ball say to the other? I’m really getting kicked around today.
How do rugby players party? They scrum it up.
What do you call a sad rugby ball? A blue oval.
Why do rugby balls make bad journalists? They’re biased.
How do rugby players keep in touch? They pass messages.
Rugby One-Liners
They say rugby is a ruff sport.
I used to play rugby, but it wasn’t my ball game.
Rugby always gives me a kick.
My rugby coach told me I have a tack for the game.
Rugby looks fun if you’re built like a brick house.
Only play rugby if you enjoy vigorous scrumming.
Do you have the balls to play rugby?
Rugby seems fun until someone drops the ball.
Rugby: Where tackling men in shorts is encouraged.
Play rugby if you like passing balls with the lads.
Best Rugby Jokes
The rugby team was looking gloomy after their latest defeat. The coach said “Look on the bright side lads, we almost won that line-out.” To which the captain replied “Yeah, and we were so close to scoring that try too.” One of the new players piped up “Not to mention that we nearly survived the first half without any serious injuries.”
A rugby player went to see a doctor after suffering multiple injuries during a match. Doctor I’ve hurt my arm and leg badly. I also might have a concussion.” The doctor examined him and said “Well the good news is your arm and leg should heal in a few weeks. As for the concussion, well, fortunately you didn’t have a brain to begin with, so you should be just fine.”
After losing yet another match, the rugby coach was at his wits end. He told the team “That’s it, next week we’re just going to play without a ball. At least that way we might be able to hold on to possession.”
A rugby player was being interviewed after a bruising defeat. The reporter said “That was a physical match, you must be sore?” The player responded “Sore doesn’t even begin to describe it. I was pummeled all over the field today. My whole body is black and blue.” The reporter replied “Well, look on the bright side. At least your team colors match now.”
Why did the rugby player go to art class? To learn how to draw with charcoal.
A rugby team was notorious for losing every match they played. One day after a particularly humiliating defeat, the captain called a team meeting. He said “Alright lads, it’s clear we need to change our strategy here. So from now on, we’re just going to try and injure as many of the opposing team’s players as possible. We may not win any games, but at least we’ll feel better about ourselves.”
What do you get if you cross a rugby player with a monster truck? A tryhard.
A rugby ball, soccer ball and bowling ball walk into a bar. The rugby ball orders a pint. The bartender picks up the rugby ball, throws it at the wall and says “I don’t serve your kind in here.”
My friend recently joined a rugby team and he loves it. I went to one of his games and couldn’t believe the pace. It was so fast paced I got winded just watching. I don’t understand how he has the stamina to last 80 full minutes of gameplay. He says it’s the rush of adrenaline that keeps him going. I guess some guys really get pumped when big burly men are bearing down on them!
Why are rugby posts so high? So the players have something to aim for besides each other.
What’s the difference between a rugby ball and the sun? The sun passes sometimes.
My friend invited me to watch a rugby match because he said it was a great spectator sport. He failed to mention that you need a medical degree to understand what’s happening! I had no clue what a ruck, a maul or a scrum was. Next time I’ll just stay home and watch grass grow – it’s easier to follow.
