Ringmaster Puns
1. I asked the ringmaster why he was holding a piece of bread. He said it was just his rye toast.
2. The ringmaster was feeling down so I told him to chin up. He said “I don’t have a chin, just this tall hat.”
3. Our ringmaster likes to nap a lot. I guess you could say he’s the snooze master.
4. The ringmaster accidentally spilled coffee on his top hat. I guess you could say he had a latte on his mind.
5. I saw the ringmaster reading a book about artistic techniques. It was a canvas and acrylics manual.
6. The ringmaster lost his voice so the show was cancelled. I guess you could say it was a hoarse of a different color.
7. I asked the ringmaster why there were no seats in the big top. He said it was standing room only.
8. The ringmaster was feeling lonely so he got a pet hamster. Now he has a little critter to hatster.
9. When the ringmaster has sore muscles he uses IcyHot cream. It helps ease his ringmastery.
10. The ringmaster spilled mustard on his red coat. He frowned and said “I’m in a bit of a pickle here.”
Ringmaster One-Liners
11. My ringmaster friend says clowning around is serious business.
12. Never lie to the ringmaster – they always see right through you.
13. A ringmaster’s favorite exercise is hat raises.
14. A ringmaster never asks “who’s in charge here?” – it’s obvious.
15. A good ringmaster can juggle fire, knives, and egos.
16. Ringmasters don’t need alarm clocks – the elephant’s trumpeting wakes them up.
17. Ringmasters whisper sweet nothings to their top hats at night.
18. A ringmaster’s autobiography: Taming Lions, Wrangling Clowns, and Other Tales from the Big Top.
19. Ringmaster apparel: bold coats, tall hats, and confident smiles.
20. Ask a ringmaster about their least favorite season and they’ll say “off-season.”
Best Ringmaster Jokes
21. A family goes to the circus and their 5 year old daughter is especially excited to see the animals. The ringmaster brings out a huge elephant, and the little girl excitedly shouts “Oh look! It’s a big gray peanut with toes!” The embarrassed parents try to shush her, but the ringmaster just chuckles good-naturedly.
22. What do you call a ringmaster who just got a raise? A prosperity master!
23. A circus ringmaster walked into a bar after a long day and ordered a beer. The bartender asked, “Rough day at the circus?” The ringmaster replied, “Not really, it was just in-tents.”
24. Did you hear about the ringmaster who was addicted to brake fluid? He said he could stop anytime.
25. Why are ringmasters such bad drivers? They’re always clowning around.
26. What do you call a ringmaster who likes drilling holes? A bore master.
27. How do ringmasters stay connected when traveling for shows? They join the roamers network.
28. What did the ringmaster name his pet zebra? Spotty.
29. A ringmaster, lion tamer, and clown walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says “…Is this some kind of joke?”
30. A circus ringmaster decides it’s time to retire and offers his job to a clown. The clown is hesitant and says “I’m not sure I have the right temperament to be a ringmaster.” The ringmaster replies: “Just give it a shot! You might find you’re a natural ringleader.”
31. How does every circus joke start? With a funny ringmaster!
32. Why was the ringmaster late for the circus show? He was caught up in clowning around!
33. Which circus role hates mornings the most? The ringmaster – because they have to get the whole troupe up and at ’em bright and early!
34. How do you make a ringmaster laugh on Monday morning? Tell them a circus elephant joke!
35. Why do ringmasters make excellent mediators? They know how to tame wild beasts and settle disputes diplomatically.
36. A ringmaster, lion tamer, trapeze artist, and clown go out for drinks after a circus show. The trapeze artist bounces from bar to bar while the clown is a jokester all night. But it’s the ringmaster who keeps everyone reined in and makes sure they all get home safely.
37. What did the ringmaster name his pet chameleon? Camo.
38. Why don’t ringmasters ever need maps? They have a good sense of circus-direction.
39. How do you know when a ringmaster is at your front door? The trumpet fanfare gives them away every time.
40. A ringmaster decides to take a vacation on a cruise ship. Before boarding, the captain spots his sparkly coat and top hat and says “Um, I think you’re on the wrong ship buddy. The circus left port hours ago.”
41. What’s a ringmaster’s favorite type of cake? Angel fluff cake – light as air!
42. Why did the ringmaster win the hot dog eating contest? He had plenty of practice swallowing fire!
43. How does a ringmaster monitor their elephants’ nutrition? They weigh them periodically to assess their tonnage.
44. Why do ringmasters make great detectives? They always crack the cases wide open.
45. Which superhero does a ringmaster most identify with? The Incredible Hulk – because controlling him takes top talent!
46. How did the ringmaster react when his lions ate the Tonight Show host? He said “I hope they can digest Fallon okay.”
47. Why was the trapeze artist so rude to the ringmaster? They were going through aerial aggression.
48. What’s a ringmaster’s favorite creepy-crawly? A centi-pede – 100 feet of pure circus magic!
49. How does a ringmaster fix a broken hula-hoop? With his special hoop-ty tool kit!
50. Why do ringmasters make the best party hosts? Because they always put on the big top bash of the season!
