Rice Puns
1. I tried making fried rice in my rice cooker, but it came out all sticky. You could say it was a little too ricey.
2. My friend told me this joke about rice but I told him it was pretty corny. He said, “Yeah, it’s just for kicks.”
3. Did you hear about the angry rice grain? He had a chip on his shoulder.
4. Why don’t rice grains ever lose their tempers? Because they have a lot of patience.
5. Why was the rice grain depressed? It felt insignificant among all the others.
6. I asked the waiter if they had any rice dishes. He said, “I don’t know, let me check with the grains in the back.”
7. Why do rice grains make good stylists? They know how to roll with the trends.
8. Why was the rice grain fired from his job? He wasn’t producing enough. His boss told him to get more grains.
9. Did you hear about the rice grain who won the lottery? His friends said it was very rice for him.
10. My friend got hungry and asked if I had any rice. I said, “Yeah, help yourself to a few grains in the cupboard.”
11. Why do rice grains prefer living in the city? More culture.
12. Why was the rice cooker feeling depressed? It was having an emotional grain breakdown.
Rice One-Liners
13. I was going to tell a joke about rice, but it would just go in one ear and out the other.
14. A rice grain walked into a bar. The bartender said, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”
15. What do you call a rice grain that skips class? A truant.
16. My friend got so angry he started throwing rice. Now he’s facing grain assault charges.
17. Why was the rice farmer acting so smug? He was feeling very grain-ful.
18. Did you hear about the new rice restaurant? Apparently their dishes are amazing grains.
19. What do you call an enthusiastic rice grain? Grain-spired.
20. Why did the rice cross the road? To get to the other grain.
21. What do you call a grain of rice that wanders off? The prodigal grain.
22. Why do rice grains make good detectives? They know how to crack the case.
Best Rice Jokes
23. A rice farmer was out checking his fields when he spotted a UFO landing nearby. An alien emerged and asked, “Take me to your leader.” The farmer replied, “Sure, follow me.” He led the alien to his barn where a donkey was eating some rice. “Here is my leader,” the farmer said. The alien looked confused and asked, “That is just a donkey.” The farmer smiled and said, “Yep, he’s outstanding in his field.”
24. What do you call a stolen rice shipment? Grain robbery.
25. Why did the rice grain get kicked out of the cooking class? He kept grain-ishing the knives.
26. How did the hipster burn his tongue? He ate his rice ironic.
27. Why couldn’t the rice grain find his mom at the grocery store? He lost her in the grains.
28. Why don’t ants eat rice? Because they prefer grain-secticide.
29. What’s the most important meal of the day for rice? Breakgrain.
30. Did you hear about the rice that went to jail? He was found grain possession.
31. Why do grains of rice make great comedians? Because they like to tell corny jokes.
32. What kind of shoes do rice grains wear? Platform grains.
33. Why couldn’t the rice cross the road? It got stuck in traffic.
34. What do you call a rice grain that’s been knighted? Sir Grain.
35. Why don’t rice grains get married? Most are too grain dependent.
36. Why did the rice grain get detention? For grain-ishing the teacher’s chalk.
37. Why are rice grains such good liars? They know how to bend the truth grain by grain.
38. Why did the rice quit his job? The work had no grain of truth.
39. Why was the rice grain upset after the election? His candidate didn’t grain enough votes.
40. What do you call a rice grain that’s been knighted? Sir Grain.
41. What was the rice grain’s favorite subject in college? Anthorgrainology.
42. Why was the rice happy when it was cooking? It could feel itself getting more grainified.
43. Why are rice grains bad at keeping secrets? Because they tell everyone, grain by grain.
44. Why don’t ants eat rice? Because they prefer grain-secticide.
45. How did the hipster burn his tongue? He ate his rice ironic.
46. What’s the most important meal of the day for rice? Breakgrain.
47. What kind of shoes do rice grains wear? Platform grains.
48. What was the rice grain’s favorite subject in college? Anthorgrainology.
49. Why couldn’t the rice cross the road? It got stuck in traffic.
50. Why are rice grains such good liars? They know how to bend the truth grain by grain.
51. What do you call a stolen rice shipment? Grain robbery.
52. Why did the rice quit his job? The work had no grain of truth.
53. Why was the rice upset after the election? His candidate didn’t grain enough votes.
