Rhino Puns (10)
1. What do you call a rhino who broke a promise? A rhino-ceros!
2. Why don’t rhinos go on road trips? They prefer to stay in their own habitat.
3. How does a rhino keep its skin so smooth? Expholiation.
4. Why don’t rhinos like playing cards? Because they always get a horn!
5. What’s a rhino’s favorite tree? Eu-calip-tus!
6. Why are rhinos so noisy when they eat? They don’t have great table manners.
7. What do you call a rhino who works as a detective? Horn-lock Holmes!
8. How do rhinos communicate? With cell-u-phino!
9. What do you call a rhino that fell into a well? A wallow-rhino!
10. Why don’t rhinos go to the ocean? They don’t want to get horntan!
Rhino One-Liners (10)
11. I took my rhino to the car wash today and he came out looking shiny and new – horn and all!
12. They say rhinos have poor eyesight, but I think my rhino’s vision is quite sharp-horned.
13. My rhino is quite the chef – he made an amazing hor’deurve platter for tonight’s party!
14. I entered my rhino in a strongman competition and he took home the rhinestone medal.
15. We wanted to get a guard dog, but settled on a guard rhino instead – criminals don’t stand a chance!
16. My rhino friend got a job as a telemarketer – he’s great at making cold calls.
17. I took my rhino to the optometrist and he got contacts – no more horned-rimmed glasses for him!
18. My rhino loves playing hide and seek, he just crouches behind a tree – not realizing his horn gives him away!
19. I wanted to go to the zoo but my rhino said he’d rather Netflix and swill.
20. The rhino grazed in the field saying, “The grass looks greener over yonder.”
Best Rhino Jokes (12)
21. What do you call a rhino with a runny nose? A snotty rhino! One day, a snotty rhino was walking through the savannah blowing his nose loudly on tissues. The other animals were annoyed and tried to avoid him. “Can you please wipe your nose quietly?” asked a zebra. The rhino explained, “I can’t help it, I have the flu!” He honked his nose again into the tissue. “Ugh, gross!” said a giraffe. The snotty rhino frowned and walked away sniffling. He decided to go home and rest until he felt better. The end!
22. Where do rhinos go when they get hurt? To the rhino-practor! Rhinos are massive, powerful animals that aren’t known for their grace or agility. So it’s no surprise that they frequently suffer sprains, strains, and sore muscles from their active lifestyles. When rhinos get injured, they head straight to the rhino-practor’s office to get fixed up. These specialized vets provide customized care like horn alignments, mud baths, and joint manipulations to help rhinos feel their best. Thanks to attentive rhino-practors, injured rhinos can quickly return to running, playing, and rolling in the mud again!
23. Why are rhinos so wrinkly? Because they’re always worrying! Rhinos are known for their extensive network of wrinkles and folds in their thick skin. But why are they so wrinkly? It turns out, it’s because rhinos are constantly worrying! They worry about poachers, droughts, and not looking good in yoga pants. The constant state of anxiety leads to frequent frowning, which over time etches worry lines into their faces. Rhinos try meditation and therapy to relax, but somehow always find something new to fret over. So while their wrinkles make rhinos look distinguished and wise, they’re actually just anxious, neurotic beasts!
24. What do you get when you cross a parrot with a rhino? A bird that hogs the conversation! A parrot and rhino could not be more different. Parrots are colorful talkative birds, while rhinos are massive, quiet beasts. But what if they combined? The result would be a hilarious-looking rhino with a beak that talked nonstop! This unusual crossbreed would chatter endlessly about anything and everything. It would hog every conversation, droning on about politics, philosophy, and whether crackers really go stale. While the rhino body would lumber slowly, the parrot head would yak loudly away. This odd hybrid would certainly be squawking up the wrong tree! In the end, crossing a parrot and rhino just goes to show some animals are better left uncrossed!
25. What do you call a line of rhinos? A rhino queue! If you ever come across a group of rhinos standing nose-to-tail, you’re looking at a rhino queue! Rhinos are large solitary animals, but they do occasionally line up single-file to migrate or visit a watering hole. And when a bunch of massive rhinos forms an orderly line, it’s quite a sight to see. A rhino queue could stretch for miles across the African savannah, with each beast calmly waiting its turn. The rhinos don’t get impatient or try cutting in front; they know how to queue up properly. Of course, you don’t want to be the one waiting behind a rhino queue – all that rhino dung piles up quickly! Just hold your breath and hope they move fast, for a rhino queue stops for no one!
26. Why did the rhino invest in an insurance company? To safe horn his assets! As a savvy businessman, the rhino knew he needed to diversify his portfolio. He already had ample investments in mud holes, salt licks, and wallowing ponds across Africa. But he wanted a more traditional asset – so he put his money in an insurance company. This way, the rhino could spread out his risk but still horn in on plenty of profits. He snapped up shares quickly once he realized the opportunity. By safe horning his wealth across many industries, the rhino could grow his net worth rapidly. His accountant reassured him that this investment strategy would pay horn-some dividends for years to come! And the rhino just smiled, pleased with his shrewd financial decisions.
27. Why are rhinos always hot? Because they’re never in a cool mood! Have you ever noticed rhinos always seem to be overheating and sweating, even in moderate climates? That’s because with their grumpy dispositions, rhinos are always in a heated mood! They’re quick to anger and very temperamental by nature. Even the slightest annoyance sends a rhino into a hot rage. So their blood is in a constant boil, leading rhinos to feel fiery and flushed all the time. That’s why they are always seeking places to cool off like mud baths and watering holes. But even splashing in refreshing water only provides temporary relief for these hot-tempered beasts! It seems nothing can chill out a rhino or make his mood cool down for very long. A rhino’s bad attitude seems here to stay – along with the relentless heat that it generates!
28. What do you get when you cross a phone and a rhino? A phono-rhino! The phono-rhino is a bizarre invention combining a cell phone with an agitated rhino. This unusual hybrid creature is the result of a quirky scientist’s experimental crossbreeding project gone awry. While the intended outcome was unclear, the result is a rhino with a smartphone embedded in its horn. The phono-rhino enjoys wandering the African plains while chatting loudly on its horn-phone. Calls often end abruptly though, since the phono-rhino easily gets annoyed and tends to toss, smash, or even devour its phone. Its ringtones are loud rhino grunts that vibrate its whole horn. And don’t even think about trying to call a phono-rhino during its nap times unless you want a horn through your cell phone! All in all, the phono-rhino’s existence poses more questions than it answers. But at least it can always call for help if it gets lost!
29. Why are rhinos considered party animals? Because they love to get turnt up! Forget raving with coyotes – if you want a truly wild time, you party with rhinos! Despite their bulky, lazy appearance, rhinos are actually natural party animals that love blowing off steam with crazy bashes. Any celebration with rhinos gets turnt up quickly, with rhinos drinking, dancing, and headbanging like they just don’t care. Their thick skin lets them brush off massive hangovers too. They start rounding up guests weeks in advance to ensure impressive turnout. Rhinos always keep the beat going with ground-shaking footsteps and by smashing their horns on objects. Few parties get as crazy as a rhino’s birthday bash or New Year’s Eve rager. So if you get invited to a rhino shindig, be prepared for a long night of intense partying! Just make sure you clear your calendar for recovery the next day.
30. Why do rhinos make bad Uber drivers? They only know how to go straight! Need a ride across town? Whatever you do, don’t call a rhino for your Uber. Rhinos’ massive size makes maneuvering tricky for them, and they only know how to go straight – no turns! Your ride will start out normal enough, with the rhino Uber charging to your location horn-first. But things take a chaotic turn after you get in and try to give him directions. “Left on Main Street?” the rhino driver huffs, “I only go straight, dude!” And straight he goes, barreling through picket fences and garden gnomes instead of just turning. By the time you reach your destination, you’re frazzled and carsick from the endless jerking motions. So for your next rideshare, make sure you call a driver other than a directionally-challenged rhino! You’ll get where you need to go much more easily and with whiplash-free comfort.
31. Why are rhinos always grumpy when they wake up? They’re not morning horns! If you see a rhino first thing after it wakes up, be prepared for some grumpiness. Rhinos are simply not morning horns! Early wake up calls disrupt their beauty sleep, putting them in sour moods. Tip-toeing around yawning rhinos is key to avoid getting the horn. Coffee and breakfast in bed can sometimes help make mornings more bearable for these drowsy giants. But the best solution is to just let rhinos sleep in as late as they want. Even on important days like birthdays or holidays, it’s best not to rush a slumbering rhino into festivities. Grouchy, sleep-deprived rhinos do sometimes go on the rampage! So remember, never get between a rhino and its extra zzz’s, or you’ll face the wrath of its morning horns.
32. What’s a rhino’s favorite snack? Choco-horn crackers! When rhinos need a tasty pick-me-up snack, they reach for delicious choco-horn crackers. These chocolatey treats are made with a light, crispy batter in the shape of rhino horns. They are drizzled with silky chocolate and sprinkled with savory salt crystals for the perfect sweet and salty flavor combination. Rhinos can’t resist their addictive, crunch and rich chocolaty aroma. Midday, rhinos like to take a break from wallowing to dunk the choco-horn crackers in refreshing mud puddles too. They make an indulgent post-dinner dessert as well. Even the crankiest rhino cracks a smile when chowing down on these tasty baked goods. So when you need to get on a rhino’s good side fast, just bring a box of their beloved choco-horn crackers!