Racing Puns
1. I’m so exhausted from running the race. I’m ready to pass out on the track.
2. The race cars zoomed by so fast, it made my head spin out of control.
3. The race was neck and neck until the very last lap. It was a photo finish.
4. The Indy 500 racers better eat a big breakfast to carb up. This race is no fueling around.
5. The drag race is heating up. Fans better fire extinguisher expectations.
6. The dirt track left the sprint cars covered in mud. It was a grimey race.
7. The race car engines were roaring so loud, my ears are still ringdingdingdingdingding.
8. The pit crew filled up the tank in lightning speed. Those guys don’t fuel around.
9. The race car driver switched gears and floored it to nitro speed. He really knows how to shift into high gear.
10. The racing fans packed the stands to fuel up on some high octane entertainment.
11. The drag racer was feeling draggin’ after competing in several back-to-back races.
12. The Formula One race really messes with my head. Those cars just keep circling and circling around the track.
Racing One-Liners
13. My friend the race car driver has a need for speed.
14. During rush hour, the freeway might as well be a NASCAR speedway.
15. That sports car was racing down the street so fast, it practically had a jet engine under the hood.
16. The competitive go-kart racers jostled for first place more aggressively than full-grown NASCAR drivers.
17. I got pulled over for speeding, but I was simply rushing to watch the big race in time.
18. My grandpa loves watching car races, but he always falls asleep halfway through.
19. Our family road trip felt like a NASCAR race with all the bickering over who was driving too slow.
20. The marathon runners sprinted the last mile as if they were racing for the gold.
21. My friend is such a leadfoot, she even speeds up when driving through school zones.
22. During rush hour traffic, changing lanes is like a complicated game of bumper cars.
Best Racing Jokes
23. A police officer pulled over a speeding race car driver and said, “Do you know how fast you were going back there?” The race car driver replied, “No officer, but I know exactly where I am!”
24. What do you call a race between a group of cars and a group of trucks? A semi-final!
25. Why was the NASCAR driver angry after the big race? He didn’t win and was left ex-hausted!
26. Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell? He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him more sluggish.
27. How do you make a race car driver stop for gas? Step on the brakes.
28. Why don’t egos race in NASCAR? Because it’s too hard for them to pass anything.
29. What do you call a racing grandfather clock? A fast-forward clock.
30. How do you stop a race car driver from drowning? Take your foot off his head.
31. Did you hear about the clumsy NASCAR driver? He kept spinning out of control.
32. Why don’t ants ever win races? Because they’re always disqualified for micro-cheating.
33. Why don’t candles make good race car drivers? Because they always burn out!
34. Why are gravel roads the most competitive to drive on? Because they have the most race gravel.
35. What did the NASCAR driver tell his pit crew after a poor performance? “I’m afraid that was just an off-race day for me.”
36. Did you hear about the race between the lion and the cheetah? It was neck and neck until the cheetah clawed out a victory.
37. Why don’t oysters give up easily during races? Because they never shell out.
38. How do baseball players stay cool when racing against track stars? They fan themselves.
39. Did you hear about the psychic dwarf criminal who escaped from jail and robbed a race track? There’s a small medium at large.
40. Why don’t reliability consultants make good NASCAR drivers? Because they’re always preventing accidents rather than causing them.
41. Why was Cinderella kicked out of the drag race? She left the ball at midnight.
42. What’s the difference between a Porsche and a porcupine? A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
43. What do you call a race between steamboats? A steamroller derby.
44. What did one race track say to the other? I’m tired of going round in circles.
45. Why was the race car driver so sad after coming in last place? He really blew a gasket.
46. Why don’t traffic lights ever win at racing? They’re always waiting at the stop line.
47. What’s the difference between a bad race car driver and a tailor? One turns right to go left, the other tucks up to go down.
48. How do race car drivers stay cool during summer races? They turn on their car ventilators.
49. Why did the race car refuse to start before the big race? It was having engine anxiety.
50. What do you call two race cars that crash into each other head on? A tie race!