Princess Puns (15)
1. I wanted to make a joke about a princess, but the execution was a little off.
2. The princess was feeling down, so her friends tried to picker-upper.
3. The princess entered a beauty contest and was crowned Miss Demeanor.
4. The princess started dating a jester and everyone said it was a court jester.
5. The princess was reading in the palace library when she shouted, “This fairy tale has too many plot holes!”
6. The princess’s gown got caught on a tree branch and was ripped. She exclaimed, “This is shear madness!”
7. The princess stubbed her toe on the throne and said, “This is definitely not my chair-tea!”
8. The princess crossed her arms and refused to budge. She was making a point of reign-fusing.
9. The princess was worried about balding, so she bought a special shampoo made for hair apparent.
10. The princess entered a pie eating contest, but she was disqualified for having helper flans.
11. The princess spilled tea on her dress and shouted, “This is a royal stain!”
12. The princess loved dancing so much that she wore holes in her ballet slippers. They were in pointe condition.
13. The princess was invested in the stock market and checked her portfolio daily. She was keeping an eye on her king’s ransom.
14. The princess stubbed her toe while walking barefoot in the palace. She exclaimed, “This is nobleness!”
15. The princess lost her favorite tiara and said, “This is a crown crisis!”
Princess One-Liners (10)
16. The princess wasn’t herself after drinking the love potion—she had become enchanted.
17. They say princesses are delicate, but after that display of anger she seems downright volatile.
18. The princess waved from her carriage in the parade as her subjects bowed down—just an average day of royal fandom.
19. The princess was obsessed with cleanliness in the palace—she demanded everyone disinfect their rooms daily.
20. The princess filled her moat with chocolate milk—she really wanted a chocolate mote.
21. The princess kept twirling in her poofy gown, mesmerized by how it floated around her.
22. The princess insisted on having 12 mattresses stacked on her bed—she wanted to live like royalty.
23. The princess loved unicorns so much she ordered a hundred to be brought to the palace—it was a fantasy stable come true.
24. The princess was so angry about the neighboring kingdom she wanted to declare war—it took 50 servants to calm her down.
25. The princess had a whole room just for her shoes—after all, one can never have too many slippers.
Best Princess Jokes (22)
26. One day a princess was feeling sad so she went for a walk in the royal garden. She sat down on a bench and started crying. A frog hopped up next to her and asked, “What’s wrong, Princess?” Through her tears she sobbed, “My father is forcing me to marry Prince Harold, but I do not love him!” The frog said, “Don’t worry, princess. I may be just a frog, but I promise I will find a way to help you.” The princess dried her tears and smiled. “Thank you, Frog. You give me hope.”
27. A princess, knight, and dragon walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says “…is this some kind of joke?”
28. One day a princess was sitting in the royal library reading a book when she heard a strange noise. She put down her book and listened closely. “Ribbit.” There it was again! She followed the sound behind a bookshelf, where she discovered a frog sitting on top of a pile of books. “Oh my, how ever did you get in here?” asked the princess. “I’m a magical frog,” replied the frog. “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a charming prince!” The princess laughed. “I’m quite happy being single, but I would love a new friend. Would you like to have tea with me, Mr. Frog?” So the princess and frog had tea together every afternoon, and the princess realized friendship was the most magical thing of all.
29. Why was the princess late for her date with the knight? She took her royal time getting ready.
30. How do princesses stay connected? With their royal cells!
31. What did the princess say when she stubbed her toe? “Ouch, that hurts crown to toe!”
32. How does a princess like her eggs? Over easy, not over thrown!
33. Why did the princess bring an extra pair of shoes with her when she went hiking? For when her heels got sore!
34. How do you make a princess laugh? Tickle her funny bone!
35. Why couldn’t the princess see where she was going? Her tiara was on too tight!
36. What’s a princess’s favorite kind of bread? Royally risen sourdough!
37. Why did the princess slide down the banister? She wanted to make a royal entrance!
38. Why can’t you tell a princess a secret? Because it will go in one crown and out the other!
39. Why did the princess plant a garden? To grow her own bed of roses!
40. What do you call a princess who doesn’t rule anymore? A belle of the ball!
41. Why does a princess take so long to get dressed? She has to put on her heir and make-up!
42. What do you call a very short princess? Petite royalty!
43. How do princesses stay in shape? Daily cardio with their night in jogging!
44. Why did the princess cross the road? To get to the other castle!
45. What do you get when you cross a princess and a villain? A royal pain!
46. Why shouldn’t you try to steal a princess’s jewels? She’ll crown you!
47. What do you call a princess who overthrew the monarchy? A royal rebel!
