Pocket Puns
1. I was digging in my pockets for loose change when I pulled out a tiny guitar. It was my pocket rock-it!
2. I reached into my pocket earlier and felt something fuzzy. It turned out to be some pocket lint I had forgotten about.
3. My friend asked to borrow a pen but all I had in my pocket was a miniature pool cue. I told him he could use my pocket billiards.
4. I was feeling hungry so I reached into my pocket hoping to find a snack. Instead, I pulled out a tiny model of the Eiffel Tower. It was a pocket Paris.
5. I accidentally washed my favorite jacket and when I took it out of the dryer, there was a small book in the pocket. It was pocket poetry.
6. I was golfing the other day and felt something small in my pocket. I pulled out a tiny golf club and ball. It was my pocket putter.
7. I was looking for my keys in my pocket when I felt something pointy. It turned out to be a miniMount Rushmore. Talk about pocket presidents!
8. I reached into my pocket to grab my phone but instead pulled out a tiny camera. I guess you could call it my pocket snapshot.
9. I was digging in my pockets and found a mini orchestra conductor’s baton. Who put that pocket maestro in there?!
10. I felt something weird in my pocket today and freaked out when I pulled out a mini octopus! It was just a pocket kraken though so we’re fine.
Pocket One-Liners
11. My pockets are like a storage locker for random pieces of lint and old receipts.
12. Keep your hands out of my pockets unless you want a fist in your face.
13. Be careful looking for loose change in my pockets, you might get pricked by the needle I accidentally left in there.
14. I’m not happy to see you, that’s just my cell phone in my pocket.
15. My pocket tore a hole right in the middle, making everything fall out while I walk. Super inconvenient.
16. Don’t mind me, just quietly sneaking in some snacks in my pockets so I don’t have to pay the outrageous movie theater prices.
17. I’m 99% positive there is a hole in my pocket from the amount of chapstick I’ve lost this winter.
18. Don’t judge me for the weird stuff I keep in my pockets. You have your quirks, I have mine.
19. I swear my pockets have a magnetic attraction to holding onto receipts I don’t need.
20. Be careful reaching into my pocket, it might just reach back.
Best Pocket Jokes
21. I was out on a hike when I felt something moving around in my pocket. I quickly pulled my hand out and found a tiny frog had jumped in there. Guess he just needed a pocket to hop into for a bit!
22. Yesterday I realized there was a hole in my pocket right as I was getting on a roller coaster. Let’s just say everyone got quite a thrill when my phone went flying out halfway through the ride!
23. I recently switched pants and forgot to empty out the pockets first. Later that day I reached in and found a mini sled, peanut butter crackers, and a mitten. Who knows what that pocket was up to!
24. I saw a pickpocket sneaking up to target me the other day. So I reached in my pocket, threw some lint at him and yelled “Back off or you’ll get more where that came from!”
25. My wife threw my jeans in the wash without checking the pockets first. Now I have a very clean but fully non-functional phone to retrieve.
26. I swear my pockets are like a time capsule for useless junk. Just yesterday I found an old movie ticket stub from 2005 and a guitar pick from who knows when!
27. Don’t ask what’s in my pockets. There’s about a 50/50 chance I’ll pull out either tissues or weird lint clumps.
28. I need to stop using my pockets as napkins. The other day I reached in for my keys and ended up grabbing a handful of week old french fry grease.
29. My pocket caught on a door handle as I walked by and ripped straight down the seam. Let’s just say everyone nearby got to see my stash of pocket change go flying everywhere.
30. I wore my favorite jeans with the lucky penny in the pocket for my big speech yesterday. Too bad that penny wasn’t lucky enough to prevent me from splitting my pants wide open right as I got on stage!
31. Last night my wife was digging in my pockets for the car keys when she screamed and threw something on the ground. Turns out there was an old spider web in there that I didn’t clean out.
32. I always chuckle when I see a stranger digging in their pockets at the checkout line, frantically looking for money. We’ve all been there!
33. I love when you think you totally lost something important, then find it in a random pocket days later. One of life’s simple pleasures.
34. Why do we even have fake pockets on clothes? They get my hopes up that I have more storage space than I actually do!
35. I’m pretty sure my pockets lead to another dimension. There’s no other explanation for why I can never find what I’m looking for in there.
36. You know you’re getting old when you get excited about a new jacket specifically because it has deep pockets.
37. I judge a person’s character based on what they pull out of their pockets: money means responsible, candy means fun, tissues means prepared. What does your pocket contents say about you?
38. I’m convinced moths specifically look for clothes you love to chew holes in the pockets. There can’t be a more annoying place for them to attack!
39. You don’t realize how often you use your pockets until you wear a dress or fancy pants with no pockets. It’s incredibly inconvenient!
40. Want to see a neat magic trick? I can pull endless amounts of useless receipts out of my pockets. Pretty cool, right?
41. I’m no kangaroo, but my pockets certainly could double as a pouch with all the random stuff I keep in there!
42. The only downside of winter jackets is when you forget to empty the pockets before storing them for summer. I just found an old pack of gum from last year.
43. I shamelessly judge people by how they use their pockets. Keys in the front? You’re responsible. Hands always in pockets? Suspicious. Items bouncing around? Disorganized.
44. Nothing annoys me more than when I wash pants, dry them, then find tissues still stuck in the pockets. Check your pockets, people!
45. Want to see me turn a bottle cap, movie stub, lint ball, and a rock into car keys? Just check the magic that is my messy pockets.
46. I played hide and seek as a kid and decided to hide in our hall closet. I didn’t realize the pockets of the hanging coats would be the first place they looked!
47. They say the hand is quicker than the eye. Well my pocket is quicker than my hand when it comes to losing chapsticks and candy wrappers.
48. Don’t you hate when you casually put your hand in your pocket then realize there’s something gooey in there? Story of my life.
49. I’m pretty sure my pockets lead to Narnia or something. I’ll put my wallet in my jeans and it somehow ends up in my jacket pocket later. Suspicious!
50. The only thing that freaks me out more than dark pockets is pulling my hand out to find something completely unexpected, like an old bandaid or food wrapper I forgot about. Yuck!
