Pillow Puns
1. I asked my pillow how it was feeling and it said it was down in the dumps.
2. What do you call a pillow that fell off the bed? A ground pillow.
3. Why was the pillow arrested? It was held on charges of battery.
4. The pillow started crying and I asked why. It said, “I’m having a down day.”
5. Did you hear about the pillow who ran away to join the circus? He wanted to run away and become a juggler.
6. What did the pillow say to the blanket? “I’ve got you covered.”
7. My pillow told me a secret and said, “Just keep it under your case.”
8. The angry pillow started throwing punches. I guess you could say it was pretty ticked off.
9. I caught my pillow cheating on me with the mattress. I guess our relationship had hit rock bottom.
10. What do you call a pillow that’s afraid of the dark? A scaredy cushion.
11. Why are pillows great dancers? They know how to keep you on your toes.
12. The old pillow started telling stories that went on forever. I guess you could say it was past its bedtime.
Pillow One-Liners
13. I tried to listen to my pillow talk, but it was mumbling in its sleep.
14. My pillow keeps contradicting itself—it says one thing but then flip flops.
15. I asked my pillow to run away with me, but it didn’t have the guts.
16. I told my pillow it was the apple of my eye, but it didn’t seem to give a hoot.
17. My pillow is afraid of heights—it prefers to lay low.
18. I caught my pillow sleeping on the job—it was being extremely lazy.
19. My pillow has split personalities—it keeps turning over to a new side.
20. Don’t trust pillows—they’re easy to manipulate and will just string you along.
Best Pillow Jokes
21. I was feeling lonely so I bought a pillow to keep me company. We’ve become the best of friends but all it does is lay around the house all day. I guess you could say it’s my new sloth mate.
22. I entered my pillow in a comedy competition but it bombed. I guess its sense of humor was too dry.
23. My pillow started sleepwalking around the house last night. I woke up and found it rummaging through the fridge for a midnight snack. I guess it was hungry for a dreamsicle.
24. I caught my pillow stuffing its face with cotton balls when I wasn’t looking. It swears they were just marshmallows but I know it has a problem.
25. My pillow started acting really strange, so I took it to see a psychiatrist. The diagnosis? A severe case of narco-lepsy.
26. My pillow has been distancing itself from me lately. I think our relationship has lost its fluff. I tried confronting it but it didn’t have the guts to open up.
27. I was feeling creative so I decided to knit my pillow a sweater. It took one look at the hideous creation and immediately pretended to fall asleep. I guess it didn’t have the heart to tell me how much it hated my gift.