Peter Pan Puns
1. I heard Peter Pan peanut butter is flying off the shelves. Its sales must be soaring.
2. Peter Pan asked Wendy to sew his shadow back on. She replied, “I’ll try my needle and thread best!”
3. Peter Pan loves to eat at Olive Garden. He goes there to get his fill of Never Ending Pasta.
4. Peter Pan was upset when someone stole his bike. He said, “I can’t believe someone would hook my ride!”
5. Peter Pan opened a bakery that specializes in mini cakes. He called it “Pan’s Petite Pastries.”
6. Peter Pan decided to start storing his pixie dust in capsules. He called them “Pan’s Pills.”
7. Peter Pan was excited to go to the School of Rock. He heard their pan flute lessons were neverland-ing.
8. Peter Pan loves listening to music by Panic! At The Disco. He says their songs have him flying high.
9. Why does Peter Pan fly above the water? He neverlands!
10. What do you call a discount store that only sells pots and pans? Peter Pan.
11. Why didn’t Peter Pan want to grow up? He knew adulthood was frying pan!
12. Why does Peter Pan love the band Nirvana? Because he’ll Nevermind growing up!
Peter Pan One-Liners
13. Peter Pan? More like Can’t Sit Still Man!
14. Wendy tried sewing Peter’s shadow back on, but the thread kept coming unraveled. Peter panned the shoddy workmanship.
15. Peter Pan loved peanut butter so much, he would eat it by the jarful. His friends called him Peter Pan-ut Butter.
16. Peter Pan could fly, but he still never made it to Neverland on time. I guess you can’t count on Peter Pan-ctuality!
17. Peter Pan was snacking from a jar of Fluff. His friend warned, “You better stop Pan, or you’ll get marshmallow fluff-itis!”
18. Peter Pan loved to eat M&Ms. His favorites were the green ones, because they reminded him of Neverland.
19. Peter Pan was excited for the cake decorating contest. He decided to make his cake fly with some Pan-ache!
20. Why does Peter Pan keep getting distracted? Because he has Pan-nesia!
21. Peter Pan loved going to sports games. His favorite team was the Pittsburgh Panners!
22. Peter Pan could never relax for story time. He was always flying off the handle!
Best Peter Pan Jokes
23. One day, Peter Pan met a genie who granted him one wish. Peter said, “I don’t want to ever grow up!” The genie said, “Sorry, I can’t do that. How about something else?” Peter replied, “Okay then, I’ll have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.”
24. Peter Pan walked into a bar and ordered a shot of rum. The bartender asked, “Aren’t you a little young to be drinking?” Peter replied, “Excuse me, I’m Peter Pan. I’ll drink if I want to!”
25. Peter Pan, Wendy, and the Lost Boys got hungry and decided to visit a restaurant. When the bill came, Peter tried to pay with leaves and pixie dust. The manager came over and said, “I’m sorry, but we only accept real money here.” Peter shouted, “No way, I won’t pay!” and flew out the window. Wendy sighed and pulled out her credit card.
26. One night, the Disney villains held their annual evil convention. When Peter Pan showed up, Captain Hook said “How did you get in here?? This is villains only!” Peter replied “I just flew in through the window, I go wherever I want!” Hook yelled “Smee, get this flying punk out of here!”
27. Peter Pan, Aladdin, Hercules, and Tarzan were hanging out one day arguing about who had the coolest mode of transportation. Aladdin pulled out his magic carpet, Hercules pointed to Pegasus, and Tarzan just yelled while beating his chest. Peter laughed and said “That’s cute, but check this out!” before flying circles around them.
28. Peter Pan walked warily down the street, looking this way and that for dangers as he went. He knew Hook could be lurking in any dark corner. As he passed by an alleyway, he heard a noise behind him. Peter drew his dagger and turned quickly, ready to face his enemy. But it was just a stray cat knocking over a trash can. “Whew, it’s only you!” Peter said. “For a second I thought it was Cap’n Hook!” The cat merely meowed in response.
29. Peter Pan and Tinkerbell got into a heated argument one night. Peter screamed, “You know what Tink, if you don’t like it, you can just get out of here!” Tinkerbell started crying and flew out the window. Peter instantly felt guilty, but he was too proud to apologize. The next morning, he went to Tink’s house to say sorry, but she was still so angry she wouldn’t even let him in.
30. Peter Pan walked into class one day only to discover they were having a pop quiz. Peter silently pan-icked as he looked down at the test questions. They were about chapters he definitely had not read. Thinking quickly, Peter raised his hand and asked to go to the bathroom. He snuck out of a window and flew away. His teacher shook her head, knowing she would have to give Peter a failing grade once again.
31. One night the Darling children were asleep when Peter Pan flew in through the open window. He tiptoed across the room, but the wooden floor creaked loudly beneath his feet. The children began to stir. Peter paused, holding his breath. When they settled back into sleep, Peter sighed with relief and continued creeping towards the dressing table. He reached out to grab the half-empty jar of face cream resting on top, but accidentally knocked it to the floor. The jar shattered loudly. At this point, all of the Darling children woke up! Peter gave them an awkward grin and said “Uh, hi guys! Don’t mind me, just passing through!” before jumping out the window in embarrassment.
32. Peter Pan stood on the deck of Captain Hook’s ship, sword raised high. “It’s just you and me now, Hook!” he shouted triumphantly. “You’ll never catch me or my Lost Boys!” Captain Hook laughed menacingly. “Oh, I’ve already caught your little friends, Pan!” Hook stepped aside to reveal the Lost Boys tied to the mast behind him. Peter’s confidence faltered. Maybe challenging a pirate captain on his own ship hadn’t been such a good idea after all…
33. Peter Pan sat despondently on a tree branch, chin resting in his hands. He let out a long, dramatic sigh. Below him, the Lost Boys were building a new hideout, but Peter couldn’t have cared less. Ever since Wendy left, he just hadn’t felt like playing anymore. One of the boys called up, “Come on Peter, come build with us!” But Peter just shook his head sadly. “You go ahead. I think I’ll sit this one out.” The boys looked at each other helplessly. They hated seeing their leader so down in the dumps. If only there was a way to cheer him up…
34. Peter Pan was on another one of his adventures when he stumbled upon something strange hidden in the bushes. It was a portal! Curiosity got the better of him and he stepped through. Suddenly, everything shifted. When Peter emerged on the other side, he found himself not in Neverland, but in a completely different world. “Wow, this is amazing!” Peter cried as he looked around at the towering buildings and strange horseless carriages zipping by. “I bet they need some pixie dust here. Don’t worry new friends, Peter Pan is here to help!” And with that, he leapt into the air to explore this exciting new world.
35. Peter Pan zoomed through the Darlings’ nursery window late one night and announced, “I’ve found the most amazing new place, you’ve just got to come see!” The children rubbed their sleepy eyes and looked skeptical. “Is it even better than Neverland?” Wendy asked doubtfully. “Way better!” Peter promised. “There are gigantic dinosaurs, huge water slides made of gold, and all the ice cream you could ever eat!” That convinced them. The Darlings quickly grabbed their coats and followed Peter out the window to this unbelievable new land. However, once they got there, all they found was an empty lot with some weeds and litter. “Peter…” Wendy said angrily through gritted teeth. Peter chuckled nervously. “Uh, April Fools?”
36. Peter Pan had been away from Neverland for far too long. As he flew back, he was shocked to find Captain Hook and the pirates taking over! They had captured the Lost Boys and were looting the Hangman’s treehouse. Furious, Peter swooped down and yelled, “Get away from my friends, Hook!” The captain just laughed and said “You’re too late, boy! Neverland is mine now.” Peter drew his dagger and charged at the pirates. He knew he was outnumbered, but he would never give up without a fight.
37. When Peter Pan flew back to the Darling’s nursery, he was surprised to find bars on the window. He couldn’t get in! Peter peered inside and saw the children sitting sadly. “What’s going on?” Peter called. Wendy replied, “Father thinks you’re a bad influence. He’s forbidden us from seeing you.” Pan shook the bars angrily. “No one separates Wendy lady and me!” Later, the Darlings’ father stormed into the nursery shouting, “Who broke these bars off the window?” The children shrugged innocently. When his back was turned, they shared a smile with Peter as he flew away.
38. One night, the evil Captain Hook broke into the Lost Boys’ hideout while they were sleeping. He snatched up Peter Pan and carried him aboard his pirate ship. When Peter awoke, he found himself locked in the brig. “I’ve finally got you now!” Hook cackled. But Tinkerbell had seen everything. She quickly freed the Lost Boys and they set off to rescue Peter. They snuck aboard the ship and ambushed the pirates. After an epic battle, the Lost Boys prevailed. They freed Peter from the brig and cheered, “Hooray, Captain Hook is vanquished!”
39. Peter Pan landed on top of Big Ben’s clock tower scanning the London skies. He had promised to meet Wendy here tonight to go on an adventure. But Wendy was already 15 minutes late. Peter was starting to think he’d been forgotten when suddenly he spotted her high above waving from a rooftop. She had climbed out the nursery window using bedsheets. Peter laughed and called down, “You could have just used pixie dust!” Wendy smiled back excitedly. “Come on Peter, let’s fly!” Hand in hand, they jumped into the night.
40. The old crocodile who had swallowed Captain Hook’s hand long ago was causing trouble once again. He chased Hook around the shore snapping his powerful jaws. Hook called to his first mate Smee, “Don’t just stand there you blubbering buffoon, save me!” Smee tried banging the crocodile on the head with an oar but it broke over the tough scales. Just then, Peter Pan flew by and cried, “Having some trouble, Codfish?” Hook yelled, “Confound it, Pan! Call off this beast.” Peter laughed and said, “Maybe next time you’ll think twice before kidnapping my friends!”
Peter Pan Puns
41. What do you call an endless story about Peter Pan? A ne-pan-ne-pan-arrative!
42. Why did Peter Pan keep getting injured playing sports? Because he never grew up enough to pan out!
43. Why does Peter Pan make so many baking puns? Because he kneads the dough!
44. Peter Pan loved listening to music by Panic at the Disco. He said their songs really pan out!
45. What do you call Peter Pan’s videos about cooking? Peter’s Pan Recipes!
46. Why did Peter Pan get kicked out of school? For pan-handling!
47. What happens when Peter Pan throws a party? It ne-pan-ne-pan-ns out of control!
48. Why does Peter Pan fly above the water? He neverlands!
49. What’s Peter Pan’s favorite Mexican food? Chipot-lay!
50. Why does Peter Pan smear peanut butter on his windows? To see the peanut butter smear!
Peter Pan One-Liners
51. Peter Pan? More like Can’t Sit Still Man!
52. Peter Pan loved peanut butter so much, his friends called him Peter Pan-ut Butter!
53. Peter Pan never wanted to grow up, so he stayed a minor his whole life!
54. Peter Pan could never relax for story time – he was always flying off the handle!
55. Peter Pan loved going to sports games. His favorite team was the Pittsburgh Panners!
56. Why does Peter Pan keep a ruler by his bed? To see how long he slept!
57. Peter Pan was snacking from a jar of Fluff. His friend warned, “You’ll get marshmallow fluff-itis!”
58. Peter Pan loved to eat M&Ms. His favorites were the green ones that reminded him of Neverland!
59. Why does Peter Pan keep getting distracted? Because he has Pan-nesia!
60. Peter Pan was excited for the cake contest. He wanted his cake to fly with Pan-ache!
Best Peter Pan Jokes
61. Peter Pan, Aladdin, Hercules and Tarzan were arguing about who had the best mode of transport. Aladdin pulled out his magic carpet, Hercules pointed to Pegasus, and Tarzan just yelled while beating his chest. Peter laughed and said “That’s cute, but check this out!” before flying circles around them.
62. Peter Pan could never find matching socks. When it came to dressing, he was a lost boy!
63. One night the Disney villains held their annual evil convention. When Peter Pan showed up, Captain Hook yelled “Smee, get this flying punk out of here!”
64. Peter Pan sat despondently in a tree, letting out dramatic sighs. Ever since Wendy left, he just hadn’t felt like playing anymore. One of the Lost Boys called up, “Come build with us!” But Peter said, “You go ahead, I’ll sit this one out.” The boys looked helplessly at each other, hating to see their leader so down in the dumps.
65. Peter Pan, Wendy, and the Lost Boys got hungry and decided to visit a restaurant. When the bill came, Peter tried to pay with leaves and pixie dust. The manager came over and said, “I’m sorry, we only accept real money here.” Peter shouted “No way, I won’t pay!” and flew out the window. Wendy sighed and pulled out her credit card.
