Penguin Puns (10)
1. Why don’t penguins fly? They’re not all they’re quacked up to be!
2. What do you call a penguin in the desert? Lost.
3. I went to the zoo and saw a baguette in the penguin enclosure. It was a French loaf.
4. What do you call a penguin wearing ear muffs? Anything you want, it can’t hear you.
5. Did you hear about the penguin who went to court? He was suing because he’d been defrauded.
6. What do you call a penguin in a spacesuit? An astronaut.
7. How do penguins communicate over long distances? With penguin calls.
8. What do you call a penguin who solves mysteries? Sherlock Beaks.
9. What do you call a penguin that can’t find its way home? Lost.
10. Why don’t penguins live at the North Pole? Because they can’t afford the igloo rent.
Penguin One-Liners (10)
11. Don’t let a penguin borrow money. They’re flight risks.
12. Penguins are great dancers, if you like the tango.
13. I wanted to dress up as a penguin for Halloween but I couldn’t find a costume my size.
14. Penguins know how to break the ice.
15. Penguins mate for life, unless they meet on Tinder.
16. Penguins: decent swimmers, terrible fliers.
17. How do penguins build their houses? Igloos it together.
18. If penguins could fly, airports would be chaos.
19. Penguins don’t wear tuxedos. They just want to look formal.
20. I tried to teach a penguin to fly but it turns out you can’t teach an old bird new tricks.
Best Penguin Jokes (33)
21. What did the penguin say when he asked out another penguin? “Would you like to go on an ice date?”
22. Why don’t penguins live in Britain? Because they’re afraid of the Wales.
23. What did the penguin say to the other penguin during a blizzard? “Looks like we’re snowed in!”
24. How do penguins build their igloos? They start by breaking the ice!
25. Why don’t you see penguins in Britain? Because they’re terrified of Wales!
26. What did the mother penguin say to her little one before he went to school? “Make sure you ice-olate yourself from the other kids!”
27. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
28. What do you call a frozen penguin? A pengsicle!
29. Why can’t you take a penguin to the zoo? Because then it would have to pay admission!
30. What’s black, white, and wet all over? A penguin that needs a towel!
31. Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks? Because they don’t have pockets!
32. How do penguins make their nests? With sheets, blankets and penguin threads!
33. What do you call a penguin in the desert? Lost!
34. What do you get if you cross a penguin with a shark? A peng which can swim really fast!
35. Why don’t penguins live at the North Pole? Because they can’t afford the igloo rent!
36. What did the penguin say to the puffin? “Are you sure you’re not a penguin?”
37. Why don’t you see penguins in Britain? Because they’re scared of Wales!
38. What’s the similarity between a penguin and a counterfeit coin? They’re both fake bills!
39. Why don’t penguins fly? They’re not tall enough to be pilots!
40. What do you call a wealthy penguin? A penguin with lots of ice cream!
41. Why did the penguin cross the road? To get to the other slide!
42. How do penguins communicate? They send each other beak-mails!
43. What do you call a penguin doctor? A cold specialist!
44. What do you call a penguin who works as a greeter? A hello Penguin!
45. Why can’t penguins be stand up comedians? Their jokes are too cheesy!
46. How do penguins play hide and seek? They just blend in with the icebergs!
47. Why don’t penguins live in igloos? Because snowplace like home!
48. Why don’t penguins swim at night? Because they’re afraid of the dark water!
49. What’s a penguin’s favorite snack? Ice Krispy Treats!
50. Why did the penguin cross the road twice? To prove he wasn’t a chicken!
51. Why don’t penguins ever get bored during class? Because their beaks keep them entertained!
52. How do penguins keep their beaks warm? With muffs!
53. Why are penguins good dancers? Because they know how to break the ice!