Pear Puns
1. What did the pear say when it slipped and fell? Oh my gosh, I bruise easily!
2. Why was the pear sad? It had a pair of blues.
3. How does a pear get to work every day? It takes the fruit bus.
4. What did the pear say to the banana? We make a great pear!
5. How do pears communicate? They use pear-to-pear networks.
6. Why did the pear blush? Because it saw the salad dressing!
7. What do you call a pear that acts in movies? A pear-former.
8. Why are pears never lonely? Because they hang out in pairs!
9. What did the pear say when it got injured? I can’t believe I got peeled!
10. How does a pear cook dinner? It uses a pear-cussive maintenance manual.
11. Why are pears bad at sharing? They’re always pear-anoid.
12. How does a pear spy on people? It uses a pear of binoculars.
13. Why are pears so wise? They’re full of pearls of wisdom.
14. Why do pears make great scientists? They’re good at experiment-pear-ing.
15. What’s a pear’s favorite dance move? The pear shuffle.
Pear One-Liners
16. A pear a day keeps the doctor away, if you throw it hard enough.
17. Pears: nature’s not-so-natural candy.
18. Friends don’t let friends go pear-shaped.
19. Come pear or high water, I’m having my juice.
20. Don’t upsetti, eat a spaghetti pear.
21. Pears: proof that fruit can be funny shaped.
22. Pears make me in-pear-ably happy.
23. Ask me about pears one more time, I pear you.
24. Pears: sweet as sugar, round as the world.
25. I only have pears for you.
Best Pear Jokes
26. A family of pears was on a long road trip and they decided to stop at a hotel for the night. The father pear went to the front desk and said, “We need two pear rooms for tonight.”
27. What do you call it when a group of pears start a band together? A pear jam session!
28. Why don’t pears ever seem to fall far from the tree? Because they can’t go too far on those little pear legs!
29. How do you fix a cracked pear phone screen? With a pear repair kit!
30. Why don’t you ever see baby pears? Because pearants hide them underground so no one tries to peel them!
31. How does a pear climb up a mountain? Slowly but surely, as pears are not known for their hiking abilities!
32. Why did the pear get a raise at work? Because it was the MVP (Most Valuable Pear) of the office!
33. What’s a pear’s least favorite day? Sundae, because all the ice cream reminds them they’re second fiddle to apples!
34. Why are pears so popular? Because they’re sweet, juicy, and a-pear-ently loved by all!
35. Why was the baby pear crying? Because it had a bad pear of diapers!
36. What do you call ten pears in a line? A pearade!
37. Why can’t you trust pears? They have shady pasts and seedy underbellies.
38. What’s a pear’s favorite TV show? Pear to Pearson, because they love dramas!
39. Why do pears make great accountants? They know how to crunch the numbers!
40. What do you call a naughty pear? A bad pear! (bada bing!)
41. Why did the pear lose the race? It couldn’t keep up the pear-ce!
42. Why do pears hate high-fives? Their hands are too slippery!
43. How does a pear spy on their enemies? They listen in with a pair of headphones!
44. Why are pears such party animals? They’re always down to share the pear-ty!
45. What do you call a pear that gets in fights often? A hot-pear-headed pear!
46. Why was the pear voted prom king? Because he was the most pear-pular!
47. How does a pear relax after a long day? By turning on the pair-conditioning!