Octopus Puns
1. What do you call an octopus that only has seven legs? A heptapus!
2. Why don’t octopuses like to share? Because they’re octo-puss!
3. What do you call an octopus who loves hugs? Octo-puss!
4. What do you call an octopus who works out? An octo-buff!
5. Why was the octopus asked to leave the party? He was getting eight-handed!
6. What do you call an octopus wrapped in plastic? Packtopus!
7. Why don’t octopuses play video games? They’re afraid they’ll get controller drift.
8. What do you call an octopus that crosses the road? An octo-j walker!
9. Why don’t octopuses trust each other? Because they’re always up to something fishy.
10. What do you call an octopus detective? An Inkstigator!
11. What do you call an octopus that loves music? A rocktopus!
12. Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.
13. What do you call an octopus that lives in a garage? A mechanopus!
14. Why are octopuses never afraid? Because they always have a plan octopus!
15. What do you call an octopus in a library? A quietopus!
Octopus One-Liners
16. I took an octopus furniture shopping yesterday, all he wanted was something with eight legs!
17. My friend’s an octopus, he’s always getting into something new.
18. Octopuses make great magicians, they’re experts at sleight of hand!
19. I met an octopus DJ last night, he was great at mixing tracks!
20. My octopus friend says he doesn’t believe in reincarnation, it’s just another one of his tentacles.
21. I asked the octopus if he wanted to go to the movies, he said he’d already seen them.
22. I took my pet octopus bowling last night, we had a ball.
23. Went on a double date with an octopus last night, he was quite the charmer!
24. Bumped into an octopus on the subway today, we had an inktresting conversation.
25. My friend got a job as an octopus trainer, says it has its tentacles.
26. Went scuba diving with an octopus, he grabbed all the cool stuff.
Best Octopus Jokes
27. What do you get if you cross an octopus with a hungry ghost? An octo-boo!
An octopus walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “I bet you $50 I can play any musical instrument.” The bartender accepts the bet and hands him a guitar. The octopus plays it flawlessly. Next the bartender gives him a trumpet, which the octopus also plays perfectly. Finally the bartender gives him a set of bagpipes. After blowing into them and tweaking them for a few minutes, the octopus throws them on the ground and says, “OK, I give up. Where’s the tuna?”
28. Why was the octopus invited on the ocean expedition? Because it was well armed!
An octopus, a dolphin, and a shark are exploring an old sunken ship. Inside they find a treasure chest filled with gold and jewels. The octopus says, “I’m taking all this treasure for myself!” He grabs as much as he can with his eight arms. The dolphin says, “Don’t be so greedy!” And the shark adds, “Yeah, save some for us!” The octopus replies, “Hey, finders keepers!” And swims away with all the treasure.
29. What do you call an octopus who always steals the spotlight? An octo-ham!
Sally invites her friend Clara over for dinner. She serves Clara her famous seafood pasta, made with shrimp, clams, and octopus. As they eat, Clara compliments Sally on the delicious meal. Suddenly, one of the octopus tentacles reaches across the table and grabs Clara’s fork! Clara is startled as the tentacle brings the fork to the octopus on Sally’s plate, who is now holding it triumphantly in the air. “Looks like this octopus wanted to get your attention!” laughs Sally. Clara just shakes her head in amusement. That octopus always has to be the center of attention!
30. Why don’t sharks make good landlords? Because they’re always looking for octo-rent!
Timmy was excited for his class field trip to the aquarium. As they walked through the shark tunnel exhibit, he lagged behind to get a closer look at the octopus enclosure. Suddenly a giant octopus leapt out of the water, wrapped its tentacles around Timmy, and pulled him into the tank! The octopus spun him around and gave him a big slimy octo-hug. Timmy laughed and shouted “this is the best field trip ever!”
31. How do octopuses stay connected? With their ink-ternet!
Jenny was minding her own business, swimming in the ocean, when she felt something slimy wrap around her. An octopus had grabbed her with its tentacles! No matter how much she wiggled, she couldn’t break free. The octopus pulled Jenny through the ocean to its underwater cave. There she discovered a huge pile of underwater treasure! The octopus had kidnapped her to add to its collection! Jenny grabbed as many pearls and coins as she could before swimming to freedom. She realized the octopus just wanted someone to admire its treasure hoard.
32. What’s an octopus’s favorite music? Anything by Squidward!
Sammy the octopus loved causing mischief. One day he sneaked into a seaside art gallery and grabbed a priceless sculpture with his tentacles. The customers screamed and fled in terror as Sammy made off with the statue. He scurried down the street, sculpture in hand, with the staff chasing after him. Sammy laughed his squeaky octopus laugh, popped into the ocean, and swam back to his secret lair to put his new art on display. All in a day’s fun for an octo-crook like him!
33. Why don’t octopuses make good waiters? Because they’re always dropping hints!
Jasmine was surprised when an octopus leapt onto her boat and waved hello. She said hi back, curious about this friendly octopus. It climbed up and gave her an affectionate octo-hug with its tentacles. Then it presented her with a beautiful pearl it was holding! Jasmine realized this octopus just wanted a friend. She named it Ollie and now they go sailing together every day. Ollie loves bringing Jasmine treasure from the depths of the ocean!
34. What do you call an octopus that can predict the future? A prophetopus!
Maggie loved exploring tide pools and looking for sea creatures. One day she spotted an octopus hiding in a pool. She reached out her hand, and the octopus stretched out a tentacle to gently shake her hand. Then it tapped her bracelet as if asking if it could have it. Maggie shook her head no, she wanted to keep it. The polite octopus understood, gave her a friendly wave, and swam away. Maggie was delighted to meet such a courteous octopus!
35. Why are octopuses so smart? They’re always open to new ideas!
Mark was scuba diving when a mischievous octopus swam up and snatched his camera. No matter how much Mark tried to grab it back, the octopus kept dodging him with its flexible body. It swam into a crevice and came back holding a shiny shell, which it offered to Mark. Mark realized the octopus just wanted to trade treasures! He accepted the shell and the octopus gave back his camera after inspecting it thoroughly with its suction cups. What a clever octopus!
36. What do you call an octopus from outer space? An astro-pus!
Captain Barnacles was sailing his ship when three pirate octopuses climbed aboard! They waved their swords and snarled as they surrounded the crew. But Captain Barnacles outsmarted them. He threw a net over the octopuses, capturing them in its ropes. They struggled and squirmed but couldn’t escape. Barnacles’ crew cheered as their brave captain defeated the villainous octo-pirates. They put them in the brig and continued their voyage, thanks to the captain’s quick thinking!
37. What’s an octopus’s first language? Squidic!
Martin was scuba diving when he discovered a giant shipwreck on the seafloor. As he approached, an octopus slithered out from a hole in the hull. It seemed to be guarding the ship! Each time Martin tried to swim closer, the octopus would push him back with its tentacles. It clearly wanted to protect the ship’s secrets and treasure for itself. Martin snapped some photos of the wreck and octo-guardian before surfacing. He couldn’t get past the ship’s vigilant eight-armed watchman!
38. Why was the octopus invited to join Mensa? He was certified genius-pus!
Captain Marina loved having her pet octopus Squiggles join her on sailing trips. One day a storm rolled in and lightning struck the ship’s mast! The flaming mast fell onto the deck, threatening to sink the ship. Thinking fast, Squiggles stretched his tentacles up to the fire and used his underwater squirting ability to extinguish the flames. The crew cheered for the clever octopus who saved their ship. Captain Marina gave Squiggles an extra tasty fish treat for being such a hero.
39. Why don’t octopuses make good building contractors? They take forever to get their projects octo-code!
Scientist Dr. Matthews developed an intelligence serum to give animals human-like smarts. Eager to test it, he gave it to an octopus named Olli in his lab aquarium. Immediately Olli gained the ability to solve puzzles, use tools, and understand complex concepts. But the power went to his head! That night Olli picked the lock of his tank. Dr. Matthews came in the next morning to find Olli had vandalized the lab with spray ink graffiti and escaped into the ocean to live free!
40. Why don’t octopuses vote? They’re afraid of the elec-shuns!
Maggie loved visiting the octopus tank at the aquarium. She especially liked an octopus named Ophelia who liked to play games. Ophelia would squirt water at kids or blow bubbles or wrap her tentacles around toys. One day Maggie brought a ball to play catch. She’d roll the ball, and Ophelia would grab it with her tentacles and toss it back. They had so much fun playing together! Ophelia was Maggie’s favorite octopus friend.
Octopus Puns
41. What do you call an octopus that fixes leaks? A plumbopus!
42. Why are octopuses banned from baseball? They steal all the bases!
43. How does an octopus go into business? They start small and then get Kraken!
44. What’s an octopus’s favorite crime? Robbery with armed tentacles!
45. Why do octopuses make great scientists? They’re always experimentopus!
46. What’s an octopus’s favorite martial art? Jiu Jit-suction!
47. How does an octopus join the navy? They just ink-list!
48. What do you call an octopus mathematician? An equa-pus!
49. Why don’t angry octopuses fight? They don’t want any trouble!
50. What’s an octopus’s favorite candy? Sucker pops!
Octopus One-Liners
51. I just got a text from my octopus friend saying he’s in a sticky situation.
52. My friend tried to impress his date by ordering octopus at the restaurant, totally backtentacled on him!
53. I entered my octopus in an art competition but it didn’t make the final cut.
