Mayo Puns (20)
1. I relish a good mayo pun, even if some people find them corny.
2. What do you call mayo that’s been left out too long? Spoiled sport.
3. My friend got hit by a jar of mayo. He’s fine, just a little bruised.
4. I entered my homemade mayo in a condiment contest. Sadly, it didn’t make the cut.
5. Did you hear about the mayo that went to college? It graduated with honors and got a degree in condimentary education.
6. I was going to make deviled eggs, but I used too much mayo so now they’re angel eggs.
7. Why was the mayo acting so shy? It was too chicken to come out of the jar!
8. I got pulled over by a cop and my vehicle reeked of mayo. The cop said, “Sir, it smells illegal in here.”
9. My friend spilled mayo on her laptop. Now she has a Dell and mayo.
10. I entered a best sandwich competition but lost. I felt defeated and demayonized.
11. Why was the mayo laughing? Because someone told it a funny yolk.
12. I’m thinking of writing a book about mayo. It will be an epic condimentary.
13. Did you hear about the clumsy mayo factory worker? They got fired for slipping up too much.
14. I’m never buying mayo from that brand again. When I opened it, there was no sign of intelligence inside.
15. I heard two jars of mayo got into a fight. I guess there’s always room for duelo.
16. My friend got crushed by a pallet of mayo jars. Let’s hope they can lift his spirits.
17. I entered my dog in a mayo eating contest. He was the top condiment.
18. Why did the mayo quit the band? Because it was tired of being the backup instrument.
19. What concert costs only 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback when you buy two tickets and get Mayo for free.
20. Don’t leave mayo in your car on a hot day. It will turn into aioli in the blink of an eye.
Mayo One-Liners (20)
21. I don’t always use mayo, but when I do, I prefer Hellman’s.
22. Mayo the sauce be with you.
23. Oh my, oh mayo.
24. Easy on the mayo, mayonnaise the problem here?
25. You can’t have a BLT without the M.
26. Is it Mayo’clock yet?
27. Mayo life be as zesty as you are.
28. Don’t have a cow, man, it’s just mayo.
29. You’re eggs-tra special with mayo.
30. Mayo the odds be ever in your flavor.
31. If it ain’t Mayo, I don’t want it on my fries.
32. You’re one in a Mayo-n.
33. You can’t make an omelette without cracking a few eggs, and you can’t make a sandwich without Mayo.
34. Mayo today, spicy aioli tomorrow.
35. Lettuce turnip the beet with this mayo.
36. Don’t egg him on, you’ll get a rise out of him.
37. If loving mayo is wrong, I don’t want to be right.
38. I whip my mayo back and forth.
39. Come to the Duke side, we have mayo.
40. Mayo the force be with you.
Best Mayo Jokes (20)
41. What do you call an explosion at a mayo factory? A condimentary disaster!
Did you hear about the car that crashed into a mayo truck? It made quite the condiment slide.
42. Why did the mayo refuse to listen to music? Because it already knew the score.
Did you hear about the new dubstep song called “Mayo Step”? It has some pretty sick drops.
43. How does mayo like to relax? It unwinds with a good jar of pickles.
What do you call a chilled out mayo? Cool whip.
44. Why couldn’t the jar of mayo skateboard? It kept falling and making a mess.
Did you hear about the mayo that tried to do a kickflip? It ended up doing a condiment spill.
45. Why did the mayo blush? Because it saw some tasty naked chickpeas.
What do you call an embarrassed mayo? Shame-onaise.
46. How does mayo party? It turns up the beet.
Did you hear about the mayo’s wild night out? It really cut the mustard.
47. Why couldn’t the bread decide on lunch? It was stuck between a rock and a jar of mayo.
What do you call an indecisive sandwich? A condiment crisis.
48. Why was the mayo acting so positive? It liked to look on the bright si-duh.
What do you call an optimistic mayo? Hope-onnaise.
49. Why was the mayo staring at the sun? It wanted to see the light.
How does mayo achieve enlightenment? Through condimentation.
50. Why was the mayo invited on the picnic? Because it was the life of the pantry.
What do you call the most fun condiment to hang out with? Mayoronnaise!
51. Why did the mayo get citizenship? Because it passed the national anthem.
How does mayo show patriotism? By putting its hand on jar of hearts.
52. Did you hear about the mayo that entered a triathlon? It wanted to test its physical condiments.
Why was the mayo so fit? Because it worked out at the jar-mnasium.
53. Why did the mayo blush when the waiter flirted with it? Because it had a little crush.
What do you call an infatuated mayo? Mayo-be in love.
54. Did you hear about the mayo that loved baseball? It was a big fan of ketchup and mustard at the condiment games.
Why do jars of mayo make the best fans? They relish a good game.
55. Why couldn’t the mayo focus on work? Its mind kept wandering.
What do you call distracted mayo? Spacing aioli.
56. How does mayo fight boredom? It looks for a thyme.
What does mayo do when it gets restless? It whips up excitement.
57. Why did the mayo cross the road? To get to the condiment store.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Mayo. Mayo who? Mayo way of getting what I want!
58. Why was the mayo acting so pesky? It was trying to get under people’s skin.
What do you call mischievous mayo? A little rascalaise.
59. Why was the mayo so picky about friends? It thought everyone else was too cheesy.
What do snobby jars of mayo say? “Olive your friends are so oily.”
60. Why was the mayo voted prom queen? Because it was so saucy and popular.
What do you call the coolest mayo in school? Most populaise!
