Every May 1st, I get up with the day and show my enthusiasm. You could say I’m an early May person.
I asked my friend if he wanted to celebrate May Day with me. He said, “Mayday! Mayday! Abort mission!”
My wife told me not to drink too much at the May Day party. I told her “Maybeee I will, Maybeee I won’t.”
I entered a May pun contest. I submitted ten puns hoping at least one would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
What do you call discounted flowers in May? May sales!
Why was the May weather so unpredictable? It couldn’t make up its mind!
What do you call a lazy construction worker in May? Bob the May Builder!
Did you hear about the new supermarket aisle just for May? It’s the Mayonnaise section!
Why do bees buzz loudly in May? They’re filled with May beeline!
My friend got married on May 1st. I guess you could say she’s a May bride.
May One-Liners
May the fourth be with you, but the rest of the month you’re on your own.
Roses are red, May is pleasant, summer’s almost here, so act present.
May flowers always bring showers to help them grow.
Hot girl summer? More like hot May summer in this heat!
May the bloom be with you.
April showers bring May flowers…and my seasonal allergies.
Twinkle twinkle little May, time for sunshine’s bright display!
In like a lion, out like a lamb – that’s how May weather became.
May the Fourth be with you today, tomorrow is Cinco de Drinko!
Why is May so windy? It’s May, gale force!
Best May Jokes
In May, I decided to take up gardening. After planting my seeds and watering them daily, I was excited to see the plants sprout. A few weeks later, I realized I had accidentally planted weed seeds instead of vegetables. You could say my garden got high in May.
Last May, I signed up to run a 10K race with some friends. I’m not much of a runner, so I didn’t train at all leading up to the race day. When the race started, I tried to keep up but quickly found myself out of breath. Around the 5K mark, I had to stop and walk. One of my friends said, “What happened to you? It looks like you hit the maywall!”
One May morning, I stopped by the bakery on my way to work to pick up a dozen donuts for my colleagues. As I walked in, I noticed a long line at the counter. It seemed everyone had the same idea! I waited patiently for 20 minutes before it was finally my turn. When the baker asked me what I wanted, I exclaimed, “May I have a dozen donuts, please!?” He replied, “No, you May not!” I couldn’t believe it after waiting so long.
Last May, my teenage son was obsessed with this new mobile game called Clash of Clans. He would play it non-stop every night, even at the dinner table. One evening, I finally told him “You need to get off that game and interact with the real world!” He responded, “But mom, this game is my world!” I said, “Fine, you can keep playing your silly game up in your room then.” As he walked away grinning, I yelled “And no more Clash of Clans this May, young man!”
In May last year, I was invited to a masquerade party. I decided to go all out with an elaborate peacock costume, complete with extravagant feathers and a bejeweled mask. When I arrived at the party, I realized no one else had worn a costume – it was just a regular semi-formal event. As people stared at me in my flashy outfit, I wanted to disappear into the mayhem. Most awkward party experience ever!
Last May, my wife and I went on a camping trip in the mountains. On our first day, we decided to go on a hike to see scenic views and waterfalls. As we ventured deeper into the woods, the skies grew dark and it started to rain heavily. We tried taking shelter under some trees, but soon lightning and thunder started. We had to hike all the way back soaked to the bone. My wife then declared, “No more camping trips this May!”
In May, my best friend was getting married out of town. For her bachelorette party, we planned a weekend getaway at a beach town several hours away. On the drive there, my friend was getting nervous about leaving her fiancé for a whole weekend. She called him and said, “I may have made a mistake going on this trip! I’m not sure I can be away from you that long.” He managed to convince her that she deserves to have fun.
Last May, my company held an employee appreciation picnic at a local park. Everyone brought delicious food to share. There were hamburgers, hot dogs, salads, desserts – you name it! I was eagerly waiting in line at the buffet table when suddenly it started pouring rain. We had to grab our food and run for cover under the shelter. My burger got soaked as I dashed across the lawn! So much for an appreciation picnic.
In May, I adopted a puppy from the animal shelter to keep me company. The minute I brought her home, the puppy started chewing everything in sight – shoes, furniture, even my pillows. No matter how many chew toys I gave her, she always found something new to destroy. After coming home to find my couch cushions ripped up, I said, “That’s it, no more pets this May!”
Last May, I met up with some old college friends at a bar downtown. We stayed late catching up over beers. At midnight, we decided to go dance at a club. In my drunken state, I started break dancing and doing the worm on the dance floor. The next day, my body was completely sore. My friend said, “That’s the last time I’m going out with you this May!”
