Latte Puns
1. I bought a latte from Starbucks yesterday but I had to send it back. There was a frothulance.
2. I tried to froth milk for my latte this morning but I just ended up with a mess. I guess I’m not cut out for latte art.
3. My barista friend is going to start selling drinks with designs in the foam soon. You could say he’s opening a new latte business.
4. I was feeling very sleepy this morning until I had my daily dose of caffeine—my latte motto is to just espresso yourself.
5. I asked the barista for a stronger latte. They said the best they could brew was a venti.
6. I’m so addicted to lattes that I’m going to need to go to a froth clinic pretty soon.
7. My friend got fired from his job as a barista because he kept frothing at the mouth.
8. I tried to make a latte this morning but I think my milk was expired. It was curdling my enthusiasm.
9. I’m trying to cut down on lattes to save money. It’s been a skim latte situation recently.
10. I spilled latte foam all over myself this morning. talk about getting off on the wrong foot.
11. My latte this morning was really milky. I like to call that one a missed-espresso opportunity.
12. I asked my barista to surprise me with my latte this morning. They handed me a cup of steamed milk. I guess I’m pretty vanilla.
13. I was feeling sleepy this morning so I decided to get a latte. I figured it would be a shot in the dark.
14. I accidentally used salt instead of sugar in my latte this morning. I guess you could say it was a bit of a bitter brew.
15. My favorite coffee shop started offering puppuccinos so I got one for my dog. You could say it was a latte fun.
Latte One-Liners
16. I like my coffee how I like my romances – with a latte foam!
17. A latte a day keeps the doctor away – if you throw it hard enough.
18. Friends don’t let friends drink burnt coffee – that’s why I order a latte.
19. Caution: Drinking lattes can be grounds for detension.
20. Barista today, latte tomorrow!
21. Don’t frothget to enjoy the little things in life – like a good latte.
22. Coffee has my heart, but lattes have my soul.
23. I run on caffeine, chaos, and lattes.
24. Lattes – fueling procaffeination since the 1500s.
25. Coffee keeps me awake. Lattes keep me alive.
26. I brew, therefore I am (drinking this latte).
27. Drink lattes, acquire currency.
28. You can’t buy happiness but you can buy lattes – and that’s kind of the same thing.
29. Good days start with lattes.
30. I don’t trust people who don’t drink lattes.
31. Lattes may not solve all your problems, but if you think about them, you can avoid your problems a little longer.
32. Drinking lattes is my cardio.
Best Latte Jokes
33. A man walked into a coffee shop and ordered a latte with a shot of espresso. When he received his drink, he took one sip and immediately spit it out.
“This latte tastes terrible! It’s much too bitter,” he complained to the barista.
The barista apologized and offered to remake his drink for free. A few minutes later, she handed him a new latte.
The man took another sip and once again immediately spit it out. “This is still way too bitter!” he exclaimed angrily.
“I’m so sorry sir,” the barista said. “Let me try one more time.”
After remaking the latte for a third time, she handed it to the man with a smile, confident she had gotten it right. He took a tentative sip and broke into a grin.
“Perfect!” he said. “That’s exactly how I like my latte – one expresso, three spits!”
34. A man walked into a coffee shop one morning and ordered a large latte. As he was about to pay, he realized he had left his wallet at home. “I’m so sorry, it seems I’ve forgotten my wallet,” he told the barista. “I’ll have to come back later to pay for this.”
The barista just smiled and told him not to worry about it. “This one is on the house!” she said cheerfully. The man thanked her profusely and enjoyed his free latte.
This continued every day for a week. The man would come in, order a large latte, and say he didn’t have his wallet so he’d come back later to pay. The barista would tell him it was free.
On the eighth day, the barista told him, “Sir, I can’t keep giving you free lattes every day. This is a business, after all. I really need you to pay today.”
The man looked offended. “Fine, if that’s how you’re going to treat your most loyal customer, I guess I’ll just take my latte business elsewhere from now on!” And he stormed out without paying.
35. A man went into a coffee shop and asked for a strong latte with a lot of frothy milk. The barista handed him his drink a few minutes later. The man took a sip and frowned.
“Excuse me,” he said to the barista, “but I asked for extra frothy milk and this doesn’t seem very frothy at all.”
“Oh, I do apologize!” said the barista. “Let me make you another one.”
When the second latte arrived, the man took a sip but was still unsatisfied. “I’m sorry, but this still isn’t very frothy. Just look at how thin that milk foam is on top.”
“You’re completely right, sir,” the barista said. “Let me try this one more time.”
Finally, after remaking the latte for a third time, the man smiled and nodded after taking a sip. “Perfect! Now that’s what I call a frothy latte. Thank you!”
As the man walked away, the barista muttered under her breath, “Make up your mind, would ya?”
36. A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a coffee shop. The rabbit orders a latte. The priest and minister are surprised when they hear the rabbit speak. The rabbit explains, “I was born this way. I cannot help that I’m a talking rabbit.” The priest and minister accept this explanation. When the rabbit gets his latte, he takes a sip and remarks, “Hey this latte is made out of real milk! I ordered soy!” The barista apologizes profusely and promises to remake the drink with soy milk immediately. While waiting, the rabbit laments about people always assuming he wants real milk just because he is a rabbit. The priest comforts the rabbit and condemns the barista’s careless mistake. The minister suggests forgiveness may lead to growth. Upon receiving the new soy latte, the rabbit is satisfied. He thanks the barista for remaking his drink. The priest, minister and rabbit then enjoy their beverages together in harmony.
37. A horse walked into a coffee shop and ordered a latte. The barista stared in shock as the horse spoke fluent English. Once she composed herself, the barista made the latte and handed it to the horse. The horse took a sip and smiled. “This is delicious, thank you!” he said. He paid for his drink and left a generous tip.
The barista was still trying to process what had happened when the horse showed up the next day for another latte. They struck up a conversation, since apparently this horse could talk.
“I have to ask,” said the barista, “why can you talk? Are all horses able to talk?”
“Nope, just me,” replied the horse. “The truth is, I was born and raised on a small farm. The farmer had all sorts of animals, and he was often very lonely way out there by himself. So he taught me how to speak English to keep him company.”
“That’s amazing!” said the barista.
“Well it has its tradeoffs,” the horse remarked. “The problem is, now I can’t shut up.”
38. A man went into a coffee shop and ordered “one latte with breast milk, please.” The barista looked startled, but said, “I’m very sorry sir, but we don’t actually have any breast milk.”
The man sighed. “Well then just give me a latte with 2% milk.”
The barista prepared his drink, handed it to him, and said, “Sir, I know it’s really none of my business, but I’m curious – why on earth did you ask for breast milk in your latte?”
The man shrugged and replied, “It was worth a shot.”
39. A man walked into a coffee shop one morning and ordered a large latte. When he received his drink, he took one sip and immediately started choking and sputtering.
“Sir, are you okay?” the barista asked with concern.
“This latte…” the man sputtered. “It’s awful…bitter…tastes like poison…”
The barista was mortified. “Oh no! I’m so sorry sir. Here, let me make you a new one right away.”
She quickly whipped up a fresh latte and handed it to the man, who cautiously took a sip.
“Ah, much better,” he said with relief. “I don’t know what happened with that first one, but this one is perfect.”
As the man happily walked out sipping his latte, the barista smiled until he was out of sight. She then took out her phone and made a call. “Boss, it didn’t work. We’ll have to come up with another plan.”
40. Three men walked into a coffee shop – a businessman, a lawyer, and an accountant. Each ordered a latte. The businessman received his latte and was charged $5. The lawyer received his latte and was charged $10. The accountant received his latte and was charged $15.
“Hey, how come his latte cost less than mine?” the lawyer grumbled.
“Yeah, and mine was the most expensive!” exclaimed the accountant.
“Don’t worry gentlemen, your total bill will be the same,” the barista replied sweetly.
The businessman paid $5 for his $5 latte. The lawyer paid $5 for his $10 latte. And the accountant paid $5 for his $15 latte.
So the businessman paid the right price. The lawyer paid less than the posted price for his latte. And the accountant paid less than he was originally charged.
The three men sat at a table together enjoying their lattes, satisfied that things had worked out evenly.
Latte Puns
41. Don’t get upset if your latte art looks terrible. It’s no use crying over spilled milk.
42. I was feeling sluggish this morning until I stopped by the coffee shop for a latte pick-me-up.
43. I asked my barista to recommend a latte that would give me extra energy. They suggested an expresso yourself.
44. My friend got a job at the new coffee shop in town. I told him it sounds like a pretty chill grind.
45. I like telling silly jokes to my barista when they’re making my latte. It helps lighten the brew’d.
46. I was feeling frappé this morning until I had my daily café latté.
47. The CrossFit gym near my office offers discounts for members. I decided to try it so I could save a latte money.
48. My favorite café started serving puppuccinos, so now I can enjoy a latte bark with my morning coffee.
49. The barista made my latte with non-dairy milk by accident, but I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. No use crying over almond milk.
50. I ordered an iced latte this morning but realized too late that it was freezing outside. I guess you could say I was a cold brew’d fool.
Latte One-Liners
51. Baristas have all the fun—they’re the ones pulling the shots.
52. Coffee keeps me awake, but lattes keep me alive.
53. I only drink lattes on days that end in Y.
54. Life happens. Lattes help.
55. I run on caffeine, chaos, and lattes.
56. Lattes make everything better.
57. Today’s latte colored my mood.
58. Good days start with lattes.
59. Caution: Drinking lattes can be grounds for detension.
60. A latte love goes a long way.
61. Everything happens over lattes.
62. Drink lattes, acquire currency.
63. You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy lattes—and that’s kind of the same thing.
64. I brew, therefore I am (drinking this latte).
65. Coffee has my heart, but lattes have my soul.
Best Latte Jokes
66. A man went into a coffee shop and ordered a large hazelnut latte. When he received his drink, he took a sip and immediately started gagging.
“Ugh, this latte tastes awful!” he complained to the barista. “It’s disgustingly sweet and just sickeningly rich. Is this some kind of cruel joke?”
“Oh no, I’m so sorry sir!” replied the barista. “Let me make you a new one right away.”
She whipped up a fresh latte and handed it to the man. He cautiously tried it and broke into a smile.
“Perfect!” he said. “This is exactly how a latte should taste – nice and rich and sweet. Thank you!”
The barista just shook her head after the man left. She couldn’t believe someone would come into a coffee shop and complain that their flavored latte was too sweet and rich. Some people really were just impossible to please!
67. An absent-minded professor walked into a coffee shop and ordered a latte. When he received his drink, he took a sip and frowned.
“Pardon me, but I believe I ordered a large latte, not a small one,” he said to the barista.
“Oh, I do apologize sir!” she replied. She promptly remade his drink in a large cup and handed it back to him.
The professor took another sip. “Thank you, but this still tastes like a small latte, not a large.”
“I’m so sorry sir,” said the barista, thinking maybe she had accidentally grabbed a small cup again. She remade the large latte for a third time and handed it over.
The professor took a sip and shook his head in frustration. “I’m very sorry to be a bother, but this is still a small latte. I specifically ordered a large.”
The barista was baffled now, but sincerely apologized again and made a fresh large latte using extra milk. She handed it to the professor and held her breath as he tasted it.
He smiled and exclaimed, “Ah