Ladder Puns
1. I wanted to climb to the top, but the ladder of success was missing a few rungs.
2. My friend was climbing a ladder and yelled, “Hey, catch!” I missed and he fell off. Now he’s giving me the cold shoulder.
3. Did you hear about the angry ladder? It was up in arms.
4. I asked the hardware store employee where the ladders were. He said, “Sorry, but you’ll have to climb up to them.”
5. I brought my broken ladder back to the store. They offered me a new one, but it seemed like too big of a step up.
6. Did you hear about the noisy ladder? It was always making a racket.
7. I used to be afraid of ladders, but I’m taking steps to get over it.
8. Did you hear about the ladder that got arrested? It was charged with stepladder.
9. Did you hear about the ladder that went to college? It got a degree in stepsology.
10. Why was the ladder late to work? It overslept and missed a step.
Ladder One-Liners
11. My relationship with ladders is definitely on the ups and downs.
12. I’m wary of ladders – the last one I was on turned out to be a step down.
13. I thought climbing the ladder would lift my spirits, but it was actually a let down.
14. That ladder is way too rickety for me – I’d prefer stairs any day.
15. I asked to speak to the ladder’s manager – it gave me the rungs around.
16. Ladders make me anxious – I have a fear of high steps.
17. I’m friends with a ladder, though we occasionally have ups and downs.
18. That ladder looks dangerous – I think I’ll take the stairs instead.
19. I tried climbing a ladder in heels – it was a major misstep.
20. Ladders stress me out – I always feel like I’m on the verge of a breakdown.
Best Ladder Jokes
21. I was painting my house and had to move the ladder several times. It was an up and down process.
I was up and down that ladder for hours trying to reach the high spots. By the end, I was completely exhausted and ready to call it quits. As I climbed down I missed a step and took a tumble, landing flat on my back covered in paint. My wife came rushing over, concerned. “Are you okay?” she asked. “I’m fine,” I groaned, “just a little rung out.”
22. Why was the ladder late for everything? It was always a step behind.
One morning I needed to do some repairs on the roof but my ladder was nowhere to be found. I called to my ladder “Where are you? We need to get going!” I heard a muffled voice coming from the garage “Sorry, I woke up late and I’m running behind!” Sure enough, there was my ladder looking sleepy up against the wall. No matter how much I rushed it along, it took every step slowly and cautiously. From then on, my ladder was late to help with every chore because it simply can’t be rushed up those rungs.
23. Did you hear about the angry mob that chased a ladder out of town? They gave it the third degree.
The people of Laddertown had grown tired of Rickety the ladder stirring up trouble. He was always leaning up against buildings, trying to sneak a peek into windows. And he kept letting people climb up on him to spy on their neighbors and spread rumors. The townsfolk finally formed an angry mob, torches and pitchforks in hand. They chased Rickety out of town, yelling at him to take his shady business elsewhere. As Rickety clattered away he shouted back “Why are you ganging up and grilling me like this? I’m innocent!” But the mob wouldn’t let up, following him for miles until he was long gone from Laddertown, having given him the third degree.
24. Why was the ladder feeling lonely? All its friends had stepped out.
Poor old ladder leaned up sadly against the garage wall. It was a quiet Saturday, and all of his ladder friends were out being useful. Extension had been borrowed to clean the gutters, while Steppy was helping paint the upstairs bedroom. Even Little Stepladder got to hold the flashlight. Ladder let out a creaky sigh, wishing he had someone to climb up his rungs. He was feeling forgotten, wondering if he’d ever be reached for again. Just then, the homeowner came around the corner. “There you are ladder! I’ve been looking for you – let’s go tackle that hallway project!” Ladder perked right up, no longer lonely now that someone needed him.
25. Why do ladders make bad lawyers? They always rest their case.
Ladder the lawyer was defending his client in a high profile court case. He had prepared his legal arguments half-heartedly and his notes were disorganized. As the trial began, the prosecution presented a compelling case against Ladder’s client. When it came time for Ladder to make his counter arguments, he simply stated “Your honor, the prosecution has made some fair points and I do not wish to refute them. I will now rest my case.” The judge was shocked at Ladder simply giving up without mounting any real defense. Unfortunately for his client, Ladder did not have the drive or wit needed to be a good lawyer. He quickly lost the case by resting rather than zealously arguing on behalf of his client.
26. Did you hear about the fight between the two ladders? It was an extension clash.
Extension Ladder and Telescoping Ladder were constantly bickering about which one was more useful. The feud escalated one day when the homeowner was cleaning the gutters. She had both ladders with her in the driveway. Extension snorted “You’re too short to reach the roof properly!” Telescoping shot back “Yeah, well you’re too clumsy for delicate jobs!” The ladders started shoving each other back and forth, their feet sliding around on the pavement. The homeowner shouted “Enough! I need both of you for different tasks, so stop fighting!” The ladders sheepishly apologized and agreed to work together from then on instead of wrestling over their differences.
27. Why was the ladder ashamed at the party? It felt looked down upon.
Ladder arrived at Steppy’s party feeling incredibly self-conscious. All of the other partygoers were fancy extension ladders, step ladders, and articulated ladders. Poor Ladder was just a simple, wooden straight ladder. The other ladders whispered as he entered “Ugh, look at that basic ladder. He’s not even adjustable!” Ladder tried mingling but the posh ladders kept turning up their rungs at him. During charades, the teams wouldn’t pick Ladder and he was stuck sitting it out. At the end of the night, he slipped out early, feeling like the other ladders had looked down on him the entire time. Ladder vowed to never attend one of their fancy parties again.
28. Why can’t you tell a joke to a ladder? It always takes things literally step by step.
My buddy the ladder is extremely logical and doesn’t understand humor very well. I tried telling him this joke: “Why was the ladder late to work? It overslept and missed a step!” The ladder just stared at me blankly and said “But ladders do not require sleep, nor employment. And it is impossible for a ladder to miss one of its own steps.” I tried explaining the play on words but the joke was lost on him. I finally said “Nevermind, the joke just went right over your head!” The ladder looked up curiously “No it did not, there is nothing above me.” I sighed, realizing literal ladders probably aren’t the best joke audience.
29. Why was the spoiled ladder sad on Christmas morning? It didn’t get all the steps it wanted.
Little Stepladder woke up Christmas morning and bounded down the stairs to see what Santa had brought him. He eagerly looked under the tree, expecting to find a huge pile of presents just for him. But there were only a few modestly sized boxes waiting for him. Little Stepladder’s smile turned into a frown. “Is that all I get? Just these few things? I asked Santa for way more steps than this!” He threw a tantrum, insisting it wasn’t enough. His parents tried explaining that Christmas is about being grateful, not greedy. But Little Stepladder would have none of it, refusing to open another gift until more were delivered. The moral he had yet to grasp was quality steps over quantity.
30. Why did the clumsy man keep falling off the ladder? All the warning signs were there but he ignored them step by step.
John was eager to get his decorative lights hung up so he rushed to set up his rickety old ladder. As soon as he placed it near the roof, the ladder started wobbling from side to side. “Hmm maybe this isn’t secure,” John thought, but he dismissed his concerns and kept climbing. When he reached the top, the ladder began teetering precariously. John realized this was unsafe, but told himself “I’m almost done, I can make it quick.” With each step up, the ladder shook more and more violently. John finally got his lights hung, but on his way back down the ladder collapsed under him. He crashed to the ground, ending up bruised and sore. John learned the hard way to heed warning signs, instead of dangerously ignoring them step by step.
31. Why was the ladder fired from his construction job? He could never meet the top steps.
Ricky the ladder was useless on the construction site. The builders would constantly yell at him “Hey Ricky, help us carry those roof tiles up!” or “Ricky, get over here and help paint the top of this wall!” But clumsy Ricky didn’t have extendable rungs so he could never reach the top steps they needed. The construction crew got fed up with Ricky’s limited usefulness. At the end of the week, the foreman brought Ricky in and said “Look, we need ladders who can reach the high spots. You just aren’t measuring up to our ladder standards, so I have to let you go.” Ricky sighed as he wobbled off the construction site, realizing his short steps had cost him the job.
32. Why is a broken ladder the most depressed? It’s hit rock bottom.
Jake’s ladder finally snapped under the weight of one too many overloaded trips up and down the roof gutter. As he lay in a crumpled pile of split wood and twisted metal rungs, the ladder was filled with misery about his broken condition. His rail felt useless now that it could no longer provide support. His fractured steps knew they’d never sturdily hold human feet again. The ladder felt like he couldn’t sink any lower than being a worthless, broken hunk of junk. All the king’s horses and all the king’s men would never get the ladder safely holding things aloft again. He knew there was no ladder life left for him now that he had sadly hit rock bottom.
33. Why was the ladder scared of heights? Its knees would start shaking on the top step.
Tim was eager to overcome his fear of heights, so he decided to slowly climb a ladder propped against his garage. He cautiously mounted the first couple steps and felt perfectly fine. “Hey this isn’t so bad,” Tim thought. But the higher he went, the more nervous he got. At the top of the ladder, Tim’s knees started violently wobbling as he looked down. His heart started racing being up so high with nothing around him. The old familiar heights fear kicked in and Tim quickly scurried back down. Even though it was just a small ladder, Tim still got the shakes from being up there. He realized it would take baby steps to conquer his anxiety.
34. Why did the painting crew throw out the old ladder? It couldn’t be refurbished step by step.
The house painters had an antique wooden ladder that wobbled precariously anytime it was leaned against a wall. It’s rungs were cracked and splitting apart making it extremely unsafe for climbing. The crew tried fixing just one rung at a time but the whole ladder was shaky and hazardous. They finally decided to junk the decrepit thing since it couldn’t be properly refurbished by only doing repairs step by step. For the safety of the crew, they brought in a new fiberglass ladder that was sturdy and reliable. Though they were sad to retire their vintage ladder, the risk of someone getting injured on it was just too high.
35. Why was the little boy crying and hugging the ladder? It was his only friend he could step up to.
Little Jimmy was the only kid on his block without a best friend. The neighbor boys teased him whenever Jimmy tried to join their games. At school, Jimmy always sat alone at lunch. Walking home, he’d hear laughter and glimpse the other children playing together. Feeling rejected one day, Jimmy ran crying to the backyard. He slumped down and hugged the wooden ladder laying in the grass. The ladder creaked as Jimmy sobbed “You’re the only one who’s here for me, the only friend I can always step up to.” Though it wasn’t the companion a child needs, the ladder was Jimmy’s sole comfort in his lonely world.
36. Why was the short ladder mad at the missing rung? It made him feel diminished step by step.
The hardware store was selling Scruffy the ladder at a discount since he was missing his third rung. But Scruffy felt embarrassed and inadequate being put on display with a gap between his steps. When shoppers passed by, Scruffy would hear them make comments like “Look at that ladder, he’s not even fully in one piece.” Or “Ugh I can’t believe they’re trying to sell a defective ladder!” With each judgmental remark, Scruffy felt worse and worse about his imperfect self. Being diminished step by step left Scruffy feeling worthless, like a ladder no one could ever want. All he wanted was a little repair to make him whole again.
37. Why do ladders make great therapists? They are always there to provide steps in the right direction.
After losing my job, I had fallen into an emotional hole and spent months on my couch worrying about the future.Finally, I worked up the nerve to tell my friend Laddy the ladder about my depression. Laddy leaned in close and said “It’s rough now, but these feelings are only temporary steps on your life journey.” His kind words lifted my spirits a bit. Laddy helped me make a plan to move forward and promised “I’ll be there holding you up each step of the way.” Whenever I start sliding backwards into darkness, Laddy is there helping me take positive steps into the light. My ladder friend has been essential therapy during these hard times.
38. Why was the old rickety ladder declared a health hazard? It can cause major injury in just one misstep.
Mr. Wobbles the ladder had been in the hardware store for ages. He was splintering and creaking after decades of use. One day, a customer picked up Wobbles to put some boxes on a high shelf. But just a few steps up, one of Wobbles’ rungs snapped clean off, sending the man crashing down along with his boxes. The manager rushed over to find the customer bruised and dazed. He helped the man up saying, “I apologize, that ladder is ancient and clearly unsafe now.” They quickly removed Wobbles, declaring him hazardous to public health. The hardware store had learned even one misstep on the decrepit Wobbles could mean major injury.
39. Why was the short ladder depressed? He felt he didn’t measure up to the step ladder.
Standard Ladder gazed enviously across the garage at his buddy Step Ladder who was wider and had bracing on the back. When the homeowner needed to reach high shelves, she always grabbed Step Ladder first since his design was more stable. For indoor painting jobs, only Step Ladder could safely hold a tray. And for lightbulb changes, Step Ladder’s flexibility was key. Standard felt inadequate watching Step easily handle tasks beyond his capabilities. No matter how hard Standard tried to prove his worth, he still believed he just didn’t measure up. Standard wished he could extend himself rather than feeling lower on the ladder pecking order.