Kangaroo Puns
1. What do you call a kangaroo who is an expert on skin care? A dermatol-a-roo!
2. Why don’t kangaroos like listening to hip hop music? They prefer hip hop.
3. Why was the baby kangaroo sad? He had the joey blues.
4. What do you call a kangaroo who works as a chef? A stew-roo.
5. How does a kangaroo stay connected to the internet? With roo-fi.
6. Why can’t you play cards with a kangaroo? They’re always jumping to con-kangaroo-sions.
7. What do you call a kangaroo who is a talented painter? A Roonicorn.
8. Why are kangaroos such good dancers? They have natural rhythm and jump to the beat.
9. What do you call a kangaroo who works as a broker on Wall Street? A stock-aroo.
10. Why did the kangaroo get a job as a comedian? He wanted to get more laughs per hop.
11. What did the mama kangaroo say to her joey? “Stop clownin’ around!”
12. Why don’t kangaroos ever win staring contests? Because they blink too hoppen.
Kangaroo One-Liners
13. Kangaroos don’t go backwards, they just make terrible mistakes.
14. Kangaroos can’t trust themselves to run a straight line.
15. Kangaroos don’t read magazines, they just flip through them.
16. Kangaroos don’t worry about the past, they just look forward.
17. Kangaroos don’t play leapfrog, they take it way too literally.
18. Kangaroos never skip leg day at the gym.
19. Kangaroos don’t need maps, they just hop from place to place.
20. Kangaroos don’t wear belts, their pants just hang loosely.
21. Kangaroos don’t buy running shoes, jumping comes naturally.
22. Kangaroos never buy potatoes, they prefer sweet potatoes.
Best Kangaroo Jokes
23. What do you call a kangaroo who works as a therapist? A mental hop-th counselor!
A kangaroo decided he needed some help dealing with his anxiety. He went to see a therapist who happened to also be a kangaroo. After talking about his issues for a while, the therapist said, “It sounds like you just need to take some mental hops to healthier thought patterns.”
24. Why don’t kangaroos make good dancers? They have two left feet!
A kangaroo was practicing for his dance recital one day. He kept messing up his moves and felt totally out of rhythm. His dance instructor said, “I’m sorry to say this, but kangaroos make terrible dancers. You literally have two left feet, so keeping in time with the music is nearly impossible!”
25. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A layabout roo!
There was once a kangaroo who did nothing all day but nap and lounge around. His friends would ask him to join them on hikes or play soccer, but he would just yawn and say he was too tired. The kangaroo became known as the layabout roo because of how lazy he was. He just couldn’t be bothered to hop anywhere!
26. Why don’t ants ever play with kangaroos? They worry about getting stomped!
One day a colony of ants invited a kangaroo to come play with them. The kangaroo happily accepted, hoping he could make some new tiny friends. But as he started bounding over, the ants quickly scattered and hid in the grass. They were terrified the big, jumping kangaroo would accidentally stomp all over them! So the playdate never happened.
27. What do you call a kangaroo who lives in the Arctic? A snow roo!
Kangaroos usually live in Australia, but one adventurous kangaroo decided to move to the Arctic. He had to grow a thick fur coat to handle the frigid temperatures. All the local Arctic animals were confused by the furry, hopping creature at first. Then they realized it was a kangaroo adapted for cold weather – a snow roo!
28. Why don’t kangaroos ever win at tennis? They lack backhand skills.
A kangaroo entered a local tennis tournament hoping to take home the grand prize. But he struggled in his first match, often letting balls whiz right past him. The kangaroo realized his main weakness was backhand shots. Since kangaroos don’t move backwards, hitting balls behind them is impossible! So the kangaroo sadly forfeited the match.
29. Why are kangaroos such great singers? They have a large vocal range.
Kangaroos love singing and often hold concerts in the Australian outback. They are able to hit very high and very low notes, making their vocals extremely versatile. Music producers often recruit kangaroos as backup singers since they add such rich textures to songs. Their vocal prowess is why kangaroos are considered one of the most musically gifted species in the animal kingdom.
30. Why don’t kangaroos ever run out of snacks? They have food in their pouch.
Kangaroos are always prepared when they get a case of the munchies. While exploring the Australian bush, they simply reach into their pouch and pull out some snacks. Fruits, veggies, nuts, and seeds are common staples. Some kangaroos even pack tiny sandwiches or protein bars! Their built-in fanny pack means they always have food on hand.
31. Why do kangaroos make great advice columnists? They have lots of wisdom to impart.
The local newspaper was looking for an advice columnist with uncommon life experience and perspective. They decided to hire a wise old kangaroo who had spent decades hopping around the Australian wilderness, gaining much knowledge. He replies to readers with thoughtful, insightful answers and creative solutions. His unique viewpoint as a kangaroo gives him special wisdom to share.
32. Why did the kangaroo go bowling? To improve his rolls!
A kangaroo went bowling for the first time and kept ending up in the gutter. He decided to practice every day until he could consistently knock down pins. After a few weeks his rolls improved tremendously. Now he goes bowling every weekend with his marsupial friends. He still has the highest average score of the group thanks to his pinpoint precision rolls down the lane.
33. Why are kangaroos such great field goal kickers? They have powerful legs!
When the local high school football team held tryouts for a new kicker, a kangaroo showed up ready to compete. Thanks to his muscular hind legs and ability to leap high in the air, he easily launched field goals twice as far as any human player. The coach quickly put the kangaroo on the starting roster. Now whenever they need a last-minute field goal, they call on their secret kangaroo weapon!
34. Why do kangaroos make bad baristas? They over-hop the coffee.
A kangaroo got a part-time job working as a barista, but none of the customers were happy with the coffee he made. It turns out he didn’t know how to properly operate the espresso machine. The kangaroo kept hopping with excitement, jostling the machine and overextracting the beans. This led to terribly bitter, overhopped coffee. The cafe manager regretfully let him go after many complaints.
35. Why are kangaroos such great detectives? They always hop on the clues.
A famous detective agency decided to bring a kangaroo onto their team. Whenever they arrived at a crime scene, the kangaroo would hop around collecting clues. Thanks to his keen eyesight, powerful legs, and high vantage point he was able to spot even tiny scraps of evidence the detectives missed. The kangaroo’s unique investigative style led to solving many tough cases!
36. Why are kangaroos banned from swimming pools? They take up too much roo-m!
The local community pool recently had to institute a “No Kangaroos” rule after chaos ensued one busy summer day. Several kangaroo families showed up, hopped in the pool, and began splashing away. But with their huge tails and strong legs kicking, the kangaroos left little room for other swimmers. The pool manager had to kindly yet firmly ask the kangaroos to leave and not come back.
37. Why did the kangaroo go to cooking school? To become a grill master.
Barbecuing was a passion for one ambitious young kangaroo. He dreamed of becoming a master of the grill. So he enrolled in cooking school and aced all the classes on meat preparation and fire management. Now he caters barbecues across Australia, whipping up signature dishes like grilled kangaroo skewers with bush herbs. All who taste his cooking agree – he achieved true grill mastery.
38. Why are kangaroos good at remembering things? They keep notes in their pouches.
Kangaroos have amazing memories thanks to their handy built-in pouches. They store little notebooks and pens in there to write down anything important. Shopping lists, daily tasks, and random thoughts all get jotted down for later reference. Even in old age, kangaroos retain sharp minds and can recall intricate details. Their organizational pouch skills are the key!
39. Why do kangaroos prefer fiction over nonfiction books? They like a good hopping story!
Bookstores noticed kangaroos tend to browse the fiction sections but rarely venture to nonfiction aisles. It seems they find imagined stories more engaging than factual books. Science explains kangaroos are wired to focus on possibilities and forward leaps. So they’re naturally drawn to novels with exciting plot twists and characters following unpredictable story arcs.
40. Why are kangaroos banned from playing scrabble? They try to pass off “roo” as a word!
Kangaroos love participating in game nights, but Scrabble always leads to arguments. They insist “roo” is a valid word and should earn points. The kangaroos even try sneaking it onto the board when other players aren’t looking! After several heated disputes, the group agreed kangaroos could no longer play Scrabble. Too many boxes of the game ended up overturned in frustration!
41. Why are kangaroos such great advice columnists? They have lots of wisdom to impart.
The local newspaper was looking for an advice columnist with uncommon life experience and perspective. They decided to hire a wise old kangaroo who had spent decades hopping around the Australian wilderness, gaining much knowledge. He replies to readers with thoughtful, insightful answers and creative solutions. His unique viewpoint as a kangaroo gives him special wisdom to share.
42. Why do kangaroos prefer fiction over nonfiction books? They like a good hopping story!
Bookstores noticed kangaroos tend to browse the fiction sections but rarely venture to nonfiction aisles. It seems they find imagined stories more engaging than factual books. Science explains kangaroos are wired to focus on possibilities and forward leaps. So they’re naturally drawn to novels with exciting plot twists and characters following unpredictable story arcs.
43. Why did the kangaroo go bowling? To improve his rolls!
A kangaroo went bowling for the first time and kept ending up in the gutter. He decided to practice every day until he could consistently knock down pins. After a few weeks his rolls improved tremendously. Now he goes bowling every weekend with his marsupial friends. He still has the highest average score of the group thanks to his pinpoint precision rolls down the lane.
