Jug Puns
1. I was at a party and someone said, “Let’s play a game!” I said, “Okay, jug or not!” They looked at me confused and said, “I think you mean truth or dare.” I said, “Nope, I definitely meant jug or not. That’s my favorite game where you guess if something is a jug or not.”
2. My friend brought over a new water jug to show me. I said, “Wow, nice jug!” He said, “Thanks, it holds a gallon.” I said, “No, I meant your hair looks nice today.”
3. I entered a jug decorating contest. I was pretty sure I’d win, but then I saw the amazing jugs my competitors brought and realized I didn’t have a shot.
4. I tried to start a jug band, but couldn’t find enough musicians. It was a major blow to my dreams of jug stardom.
5. Did you hear about the angry jug? It was steamed.
6. I was excited when the waiter brought me a jug of water, until I realized it didn’t have a handle. It was a hug let down.
7. My friend got frustrated trying to pour liquid from a jug into a thin glass. I said, “You’re not very jug-tilated.”
8. Did you hear about the jug that worked as a therapist? It was very poured into its job.
9. I entered my pet jug in a talent competition. Unfortunately, it didn’t have much jug-ility.
10. Did you hear about the jug that just got engaged? It finally found its pitcher perfect match.
Jug One-Liners
11. I’m not a fan of plastic jugs – I prefer the glass ones, they have more jugaracter.
12. They say you can’t judge a book by its cover, but you can definitely judge a jug by its handle.
13. Jugs would make terrible boats – they’d just juggle around in the water.
14. I entered my jug in a race, but it quickly ran out of ste-jug-a.
15. A jug walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve jugs here.”
16. What do you call a psychic jug? A crystal ball.
17. My jug is so messy, it really needs to jug-itize its life.
18. A jug, a cup and a flask walk into a bar. The bartender says, “I don’t serve their kind here!”
19. What do you call a jug that works out? A gym jug!
20. Jugs may hold liquid, but they could never hold down a job.
Best Jug Jokes
21. My friend was struggling to pour milk out of a new gallon jug. “This jug has the worst pour spout ever!” he complained. I said, “Yeah, it’s hard to handle change when you’re used to the old jug.”
22. I was feeling parched the other day and found an old jug of water in my garage. I eagerly grabbed it and chugged it down. A few minutes later, my stomach started hurting really bad. Then I remembered that jug was basically a science experiment at this point. I guess you could say curiosity jugged the cat.
23. I was at a party where someone smuggled in moonshine in a ceramic jug. They poured me a glass and I took a sip. My eyes widened as the strong liquor burned down my throat. When I caught my breath, I gasped “Whew! That’s some powerful jug hooch!”
24. My friend was trying to impress me with how fast he could chug a gallon of milk. He tipped the jug back and guzzled it down, milk dripping down his chin. When he finished, he let out a huge burp and then groaned, “Ugghhh, I jugged that milk way too fast.”
25. I was walking by my neighbor’s yard when I noticed his fancy, antique-looking jug sitting out on the lawn. Unable to resist, I picked it up to examine it more closely. Suddenly, the sprinklers turned on and I got soaked! My neighbor yelled from the porch “Hey, put down my jug and vamoose!”
26. I was at a swap meet looking to buy an old-timey jug for decorative purposes. One jug caught my eye – it had a beautiful blue floral pattern but was chipped on the lip. I asked the seller, “How much for this damaged jug?” He said, “It’s not damaged, it’s just a little jug-chewed.”
27. My son recently got into jug band music. At first I thought it was just a phase, but now he practices the jug constantly and only talks about jug bands. I think he might be in too deep – he’s completely jug-bitten!
28. I was browsing in an antique shop when I spotted a historic moonshine jug from prohibition days. The label was faded but you could just make out the words “XXX Jug Juice.” I had to buy it – how often do you get your hands on contrajugband?
29. Did you hear about the electric jug? It had great capacity.
30. Did you hear about the joke-telling jug? It had a great sense of jug-mor.
31. Did you hear about the jug that entered a beauty pageant? It was the most beautiful vessel in the land.
32. Did you hear about the jug that went on a diet? It wanted to lose a few pints.
33. Did you hear about the jug that traveled through time? It went on an excellent adventure.
34. Did you hear about the jug that loved music? It had exquisite taste.
35. Did you hear about the jug that was an activist? It fought for vessel rights.