Millennials Puns
1. What do you call a millennial who loves gardening? A plant millennial.
2. Why don’t millennials like talking on the phone? They’d rather text message.
3. What do you call a millennial who works at Starbucks? A barista.
4. Why do millennials love brunch so much? Because it’s not breakfast and it’s not lunch.
5. What do you call a millennial with a podcast? An influencer.
6. Why do millennials love taking photos of their food? For the ‘gram.
7. What do you call a millennial who loves doing yoga? A yogi.
8. Why do millennials love music festivals? They’re looking for good vibes.
9. What do you call a millennial who loves the outdoors? An adventure seeker.
10. Why do millennials love craft beer? They have refined tastes.
11. What do you call a millennial who loves politics? A social justice warrior.
12. Why do millennials love watching Youtube videos? For the lolz.
13. What do you call a millennial glued to their phone? Digitally connected.
14. Why do millennials love eating avocado toast? It’s their daily bread.
15. What do you call a millennial who works at a startup? An entrepreneur.
16. Why do millennials love taking naps? Because #selfcare.
Millennials One-Liners
17. Millennials don’t buy houses, they rent experiences.
18. Millennials think diamonds are tacky but crystals have healing energy.
19. Millennials would rather spend money on travel than save for retirement.
20. Millennials adopt rescue dogs because #adoptdontshop.
21. Millennials don’t have TVs, they binge watch Netflix on their laptops.
22. Millennials love listening to true crime podcasts while doing yoga.
23. Millennials only read news that reinforces their own opinions.
24. Millennials think they’ll get rich quick with cryptocurrency investing.
25. Millennials gravitate towards “aesthetic” minimalist living.
26. Millennials think their 15 followers on Instagram make them an influencer.
27. Millennials are always looking for the next best brunch place.
28. Millennials apply essential oils and do yoga to treat their anxiety.
29. Millennials are addicted to posting Instagram stories of their perfect lives.
30. Millennials romanticize van life even though they work office jobs.
Best Millennial Jokes
31. A millennial goes to a career counselor and asks “What are my options?” The counselor replies “Well you can either get a useless degree in a dead end job field of your dreams, or study something practical that will lead to gainful employment.” The millennial thinks for a minute and says “I’ll take the dead end job field of my dreams for $50k in student loans please!”
32. A millennial couple gets married. On their wedding night, the wife goes to put on a sexy piece of lingerie she bought specially for the occasion. When she comes out of the bathroom, she sees her new husband playing on his phone. She’s upset and asks “What are you doing?? It’s our wedding night!” The husband looks up and replies “Just posting an Instagram story of you in that lingerie with the caption #MyWifey.”
33. A millennial walks into a job interview wearing distressed jeans, a flannel shirt, and flip flops. The interviewer takes one look at him and says “Sorry, you’re far too overqualified for this position.”
34. A baby boomer is telling her millennial daughter about how she met her husband. “Back when I was your age, I put on my best dress and went to the soda shoppe every Saturday night. That’s where I met your father – we were high school sweethearts.” The millennial daughter stares at her blankly and says “Mama I have no clue what you’re talking about.”
35. A millennial goes camping for the first time with her Gen X friends. As they’re setting up the tents, the millennial asks “So when is the glamping going to start? Where’s the wifi, the pillowy beds, the gourmet vegan meals?” Her friends shake their heads and reply “This *is* the glamping.”
36. A millennial walks into a bar and orders an avocado margarita with a rose gold rim, topped with an artisanal sea salt sprinkle. The millennial sitting next to him sees his drink and says “Ugh, how basic.”
37. A millennial entrepreneur pitches her new app to investors: “It’s called Instatusgram. Users can post pictures and videos of their brunch, yoga poses, and viral memes. But the best part is they can see how many likes and followers they have in real time!” The investors hand over their money immediately.
38. What’s the difference between Baby Boomers and Millennials? Baby Boomers destroyed the economy for future generations. Millennials destroy themselves by eating Tide Pods.
39. How can you tell if someone is a Millennial? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you all about how their generation is changing the world while snapping a duck face selfie.
40. A Millennial, Gen Xer, and Baby Boomer walk into a bar. The Millennial asks for an IPA made with fair trade hops and heated to the perfect temperature. The Gen Xer orders a whiskey on the rocks. The Baby Boomer is just happy the bar is open past 6pm.
41. How many Millennials does it take to change a light bulb? One to petition for the bulb to identify as already illuminated, reducing its carbon footprint.
42. A Millennial goes to the eye doctor for an exam. The doctor says “You need glasses.” The Millennial replies “I don’t need glasses, I just need a good Instagram filter on my eyes.”
43. What do you call a group of Millennial women having mimosas together? A complaint of Karens.
44. How can you tell when a Millennial is about to complain? Their lips start moving.
45. A Millennial, a Gen Zer, and a Boomer are in a room with a locked door and a key. The Millennial tries to pick the lock but fails. The Gen Zer tries to break down the door but fails. The Boomer tries the key and unlocks it easily. Sometimes the old ways are best.
46. What’s the Millennial version of a midlife crisis? A quarter life crisis when they realize being an influencer isn’t a real job.
47. A Millennial daughter excitedly tells her Baby Boomer dad “I finally decided on a career path! I’m going to be an influencer!” The dad chuckles and says “Don’t you mean unemployed?”