Hungry Puns (15)
1. I was feeling a little off this morning, but after breakfast I’m okay now. Waffles are just what the doctor ordered!
2. I ate so much pasta last night that I woke up feeling cannelloni this morning.
3. I was craving chocolate so badly that I decided to seize the opportunity and snickers bar from the pantry.
4. My friend keeps telling me she’s starving, but I know she ate a big meal earlier. I think she’s just Russian to conclusions about her hunger.
5. I’m so hungry I could eat a horse. In fact, I’m so hungry I could probably eat the stable too.
6. I was starving last night and really wanted a hot dog, but I didn’t have any buns. I guess you could say I was in a pickle.
7. I’m so hungry I could eat a bear! Wait, on second thought, I don’t think I have the koala-fications to do that.
8. My stomach has been grumbling all morning. It’s making so much noise you’d think there was a Harley in my belly!
9. I’m craving all the foods right now. Pizza, burgers, fries – I’m having an appetite crisis!
10. I’m so hungry I could eat a horse. I better rein in my appetite before I do something crazy!
11. I skipped breakfast and now I’m starving! My belly is rumbling like a category 5 stomach-icane!
12. I’m so hungry I could eat an entire bakery. I’d settle for a loaf of bread or a bun in the oven!
13. My appetite is out of control this morning! I’m so hungry I could eat a whale. Well, maybe just a shrimp for starters.
14. I woke up hungry enough to devour an entire cow. But for now I’ll settle for grazing on some cereal.
15. I’m craving a big stack of pancakes smothered in syrup. My hunger is un-maple-lievable!
Hungry One-Liners (10)
16. I’m so hungry I could eat a dinosaur. Rawr!
17. My stomach’s growling so loud the neighbors knocked on the door to see if I have a bear in here!
18. I’m so hungry I could eat my weight in pizza…then again, maybe just one slice for now.
19. I’m starving! Quick, someone get me a snack before I start chewing on the furniture!
20. My hunger is hectares out of control. I could eat a whole field of food right now!
21. I skipped breakfast and now I’m so hungry I could eat a whale! A tiny goldfish will have to do for now though.
22. I’m so hungry I could eat a horse! Oh wait, maybe just a pony. Or even a small mouse would do.
23. My stomach feels emptier than a black hole and is making noises that would scare a grown man!
24. If I don’t eat something in the next 5 minutes, my stomach is going to start digesting itself!
25. I’m so hungry I could eat my own arm off! Luckily for me, the fridge isn’t far away.
Best Hungry Jokes (20)
26. I was so hungry this morning that I gobbled down my breakfast in record time. My wife said to me “Wow, you inhaled that food like it was nothing!” To which I replied, “It was nothing, I’m still starving!”
27. I came home starving after work and headed straight for the kitchen. I threw open the fridge door and stared blankly at the sparse contents. Just then my wife walked in, took one look inside the fridge and said “Well it sure looks like the hunger games in there!”
28. My friend was trying to explain Ramadan to me but I just wasn’t getting it. Finally he said “Look, just imagine not being able to eat or drink anything from sunrise to sunset.” I stared at him for a minute before asking “Why would anyone do that to themselves? That’s just mean!”
29. My kids wanted dessert but I told them they had to finish their dinner first. My son moved his veggies around his plate and said, “I’m full, can I please have some ice cream now?” I told him nice try but he wasn’t leaving the table until he cleared his plate. He let out a big sigh and said, “The struggle is real!”
30. I woke up feeling so hungry this morning, my stomach was practically yelling at me to feed it. As I got out of bed, I said “Alright, alright, calm down already! Don’t get your intestines in a twist, breakfast is on the way!”
31. I finally broke down on my diet and ordered a large pepperoni pizza yesterday. When it arrived, I dove right in and devoured 3 slices in minutes. My wife gave me a disapproving look and said “Easy there tiger, you’ve still got the rest of the week to get through you know!”
32. My teenage son is always raiding the fridge even after eating a huge dinner. Last night I caught him scarfing down leftover lasagna at midnight. I threw my hands up in exasperation and said, “Where are you putting it all? You must have a tapeworm or something!” He just shrugged, grinned and replied, “Nope, just a really fast metabolism!”
33. I came home late from work, exhausted and starving. I walked in the front door yelling “Honey, what’s for dinner?” Silence. I headed to the kitchen only to find a note that said “You’re on your own, good luck!” Next to it was a stack of takeout menus. Clearly my wife’s way of suggesting I order in tonight!
34. My wife says I get really hangry if I don’t eat every few hours. Yesterday when I snapped at her for buying regular Oreos instead of Double Stuf, she smirked and said “See, this is what I’m talking about!” I huffed “I don’t have an Oreo problem, I just have a low tolerance for being hungry!”
35. I woke up feeling like I could eat everything in the fridge, which is a lot considering we just did a big grocery run over the weekend. My husband chuckled when he saw me greedily eyeing the overflowing shelves and said “Better rein in that appetite darling, pace yourself…we’ve got a whole week to get through all that food!”
36. I came home from work to find my teenage daughter angrily rummaging through the kitchen. When I asked what she was looking for, she whined “There’s nothing to eat in this house!” I reminded her “Uh, you ate three servings of roast chicken, potatoes and veggies just a few hours ago!” She rolled her eyes and shot back, “Yeah but I’m hungry again nowwww!” The struggle is real.
37. My coworker was complaining about being starving so I offered her the granola bar in my purse. She made a face and said “Thanks but I’ll pass, that thing probably has more calories than a burger and fries!” I laughed and told her “Well in that case, maybe you’re not as hungry as you think you are!”
38. I came home late from work to find my husband desperately sniffing leftovers in the fridge. When I asked what he was doing, he cried “I’m so hungry, but I don’t know what to eat!” I suggested just picking something quick but he wailed “But I want a nice, home cooked meal!” Now I knew how Goldilocks felt.
39. I woke up feeling like I was starving to death. I dramatically dragged myself to the kitchen and was foraging for food when my husband walked in laughing. He chuckled “You’re being a bit overdramatic don’t you think?” I grabbed a granola bar and shot back “Overdramatic? I’m just trying not to die from hunger here!”
40. I was feeling lightheaded and lethargic so my wife insisted I eat something. When I grabbed a bag of chips, she scolded me saying “You need real food!” I whined “But I’m so hungry, what do you expect?” She replied “I expect you to act like an adult and not a hungry toddler!” Ouch, point taken.
41. My friend was telling me about his new diet which involves intermittent fasting. He excitedly said “You should try it with me! The hunger really isn’t that bad once you get past the first week.” I stared at him like he was crazy and replied “Yeah, I think I’ll pass. I prefer staying friends with my stomach, not torturing it!”
42. I came home after a long day of work feeling like I could faint from hunger. As soon as I walked in the door, I yelled to my roommate “Quick, throw me some food, anything, before I waste away to nothing!” He chuckled and tossed me an apple, saying “Here you go drama queen, eat this and you’ll survive!”
43. I was so hungry when I got home that I immediately ripped open a granola bar and scarfed it down in two bites. My husband looked at me wide-eyed and said “Wow, inhale your food much? You didn’t even taste that, did you?” Through a mouthful of granola I mumbled “Nope, but it hit the hungry spot!”
44. I woke up feeling like my stomach was eating itself. I dramatically crawled out of bed, made my way to the kitchen, and started pulling out pans and ingredients to make the biggest breakfast possible. My husband saw the mess I was making, chuckled and said “Well someone is hungry this morning!” Ya think?
45. I came home from work feeling like I could faint from hunger any second. As soon as I got in the door, I yelled “Honey, I’m home and starving, what’s for dinner?” When she didn’t answer, I rummaged through the kitchen until I found a can of beef stew. I ripped off the lid and ate it cold right out of the can – it was that kind of hungry!