Gorilla Puns
1. What do you call a gorilla that loves sweets? A chocaholic!
2. Why did the gorilla get a job as a cameraman? He was good at shooting photos!
3. How do gorillas communicate? They use ape speech.
4. What do you call a sleepy gorilla? A snorilla.
5. Why are gorillas so wealthy? They invest in bananas.
6. What do you call a gorilla who is an excellent gardener? A green ape thumb.
7. Why was the gorilla elected mayor? He easily won the ape poll.
8. What do you call a gorilla that works out? A gymapes.
9. Why do gorillas have sturdy fingers? For grip strength.
10. What do you call a gorilla that loves coffee? A mochilla.
11. Why do gorillas make good lawyers? They are proficient in ape-pellate law.
Gorilla One-Liners
12. I asked my zookeeper friend why gorillas have such big nostrils. He said, “Because they have big fingers!”
13. They say you should never tease a gorilla about its nose, but I think it’s no big deal.
14. I was surprised when the gorilla at the zoo asked me for the time. I didn’t know they could tell clocks.
15. Gorillas may be strong, but their singing voices will make your ears bleed.
16. Gorillas don’t actually beat their chests out of anger. They’re just perfecting their cardio drum workouts.
17. Consider yourself lucky if you’ve never smelled a gorilla’s breath. It’s enough to peel paint.
18. Gorillas aren’t shy about picking their noses. They don’t seem to care who’s watching.
19. Gorillas aren’t the chattiest animals. Most conversations are limited to grunts and gestures.
20. Gorillas aren’t known for their table manners. Be prepared for some flying food at mealtimes.
21. Gorillas take grooming very seriously. Don’t be surprised to see them picking through each other’s fur.
Best Gorilla Jokes
22. A zookeeper brought his family to see the gorillas one day. As they stood watching one gorilla, the son said “Look Daddy, that gorilla is picking his nose!” The father replied “Son, that’s not very polite. We don’t point out when others are picking their noses.” The son said “Sorry, I was just surprised to see a gorilla picking a human’s nose.”
23. A man went to see the gorillas at the zoo. As he got close to the enclosure, a gorilla suddenly reached through the bars, grabbed the man by his shoulders and yelled “Tag! You’re it!” before running away giggling. The man was confused but played along, chasing after the gorilla saying “I’m gonna get you!” A zookeeper saw this happening and quickly intervened saying “Whoa whoa, you can’t go into the gorilla enclosure!” The man explained “Well the gorilla started it!”
24. Bill complained to his friend Dave, “My elbow really hurts. I think it might be arthritis.” Dave said “You’re being ridiculous. Gorillas don’t get arthritis in their elbows.” Bill replied “They do when they’re leaning on a bar all day.”
25. A man walked into a bar and noticed a gorilla sitting at a table. Intrigued, he sat down next to the gorilla and tried to make small talk. The gorilla ignored him, so he asked the bartender what the deal was. “Oh, that’s King Kong. He always comes in and just sits there quietly. He never bothers anybody.” The man decided to try his luck talking to King Kong again. After a few more attempts he became annoyed and slapped the gorilla on the back, yelling “You deaf or something? I’m talking to you!” Suddenly King Kong roared, grabbed the man, and dragged him outside. He threw him down on the sidewalk and beat his face to a bloody pulp. After a minute or so, Kong went back inside the bar and quietly sat down again. The bartender saw everything and remarked “Geez… that was a little excessive, don’t you think?” Putting his head in his hands, King Kong moaned “When he slapped my back, he broke my contact lens.”
26. A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a martini. This totally amazes the bartender, but he thinks, “What the heck, I guess I might as well make the drink.” So he mixes the martini. He then walks back over to the give it to the gorilla, and the animal is holding out a twenty-dollar bill. Well, now the bartender is just blown away. He can’t believe that a gorilla walked into his bar, ordered a martini, and then actually had a twenty-dollar bill to pay for it. So, in amazement, he takes the twenty and walks to the cash register to make the change. While he’s standing in front of the cash register he stops for a second and thinks to himself, “Let me try something here and see if the gorilla notices anything.” So he walks back over to the gorilla and hands him a dollar change. The gorilla doesn’t say anything, he just sits there sipping the martini. After a few minutes the bartender just can’t take it anymore. “You know,” he says to the gorilla, “we don’t get too many gorillas in here.” And the gorilla says, “At nineteen dollars a drink I’m not surprised.”
27. Jane decided to visit the zoo one day. At the gorilla enclosure, she saw a little boy climbing over the fence into the pit! She immediately ran over, grabbed the boy, and pulled him to safety just as a huge alpha male gorilla charged towards them. After catching her breath, Jane scolded the boy, “That was extremely dangerous! You could have been killed! What were you thinking?” The boy replied, “Hey lady, I just lost my ball in there…”
28. Jim was telling his friend Andy about his recent trip to the zoo. “I was at the gorilla enclosure”, Jim said, “and this one gorilla was going absolutely berserk! Beating its chest and roaring like crazy.” “Wow, sounds intense”, said Andy. “Yeah”, said Jim, “but then I realized… it was a female gorilla.”
29. Did you hear about the gorillas who escaped from the zoo? The police are working tirelessly to recapture them. The zookeepers keep insisting they were harmless, but the police say they won’t rest until they bring those apes to justice.
30. Why don’t gorillas ever have money? Because they lack the necessary monkey funds.
31. What do you call a gorilla mixed with a detective? Investi-gator!
32. How are spiders and gorillas the same? They both know how to spin a web.
33. Why don’t gorillas ride bicycles? They prefer to swing their own weight.
34. What happens when two gorillas get in a fight? There’s going to be some serious monkey business.
35. What’s a gorilla’s favorite snack? Anything they can get their hands on!
36. How do you punish a naughty gorilla? Send them to their roooooom!
37. Gorillas always make sure to chew with their mouth closed. After all, they were raised in the jungles of etiquette!