Good Night Puns
1. I was going to tell a time-traveling joke but you guys didn’t like it.
2. I’d tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.
3. I need some sleep. It’s bed time for me. Good night!
4. I’m feeling a bit off today. I think I need to sleep on it.
5. I tried to catch some fog earlier. I mist.
6. A steak pun is a rare medium well done.
7. Time to hit the hay. See you on the other side!
8. I’m going to clock out for the night. Sleep tight!
9. I’m getting tired. Looks like it’s time to turn in.
10. I ate too much pie. Now I’m ready for some shut eye.
11. I’d tell you a chemistry joke but all the good ones Argon.
12. I’m exhausted. I’m heading to bed before I fall asleep on my feet.
13. I’d tell you a time travel joke but you didn’t like it.
14. I’m signing off for the night. Stay awake without me!
15. I ate too much pie. Now I’m ready for some shut eye.
Good Night One-Liners
16. I hope you sleep like a log. That’s how lumber gets its rest!
17. Good night! I hope I don’t see you tomorrow!
18. Good night. Don’t let the bed bugs bite…because then we’d have an infestation.
19. Good night, sleep tight, don’t let the monsters bite, because monsters aren’t real.
20. Good night! Get lots of sleep so you can wake up refreshed and forget this dumb joke.
21. Good night. I’m off to dreamland where no one laughs at my bad jokes.
22. Good night. I’m going to sleep on the top bunk bed tonight so I can have more nightmares.
23. Good night. My bed time is now. Isn’t that a dream come true?
24. Good night. I’m logging off to join the land of slumber. Yes, I know that was dumb.
25. Good night. I’m feeling sleepy, so it’s lights out for me. Sweet dreams!
26. Good night. I’m going to sleep and charging my pillow. Zzzzzz.
27. Good night. I’m going to sleep. And when I wake up, I sure hope you’re gone!
28. Good night. I’m turning in, and turning the lights off too. Good bye!
29.Good night. I’m hitting the sack. My bed time is now, so I’ll just nap and snack.
Best Good Night Jokes
30. I tried to watch a scary movie last night but it was too intense so I paused it and went to sleep. When I woke up this morning it was still paused in the same spot. Turns out my TV had a fear of the dark!
31. My friend fell asleep on his keyboard last night. This morning he woke up and said “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…”. I guess he had a long sleep!
32. I was so tired last night that I fell asleep while watching a documentary about paint drying. I woke up fully refreshed this morning! Now that’s what I call a good power nap.
33. I was so exhausted yesterday that I passed out on the couch with my shoes still on. I literally slept like a log. A leather log with laces.
34. I tried counting sheep to fall asleep but I kept losing count somewhere in the thousands. Finally, I decided to count echo location sounds of bats instead. It worked like a charm and I was out in minutes!
35. My friend had a dream last night that he was floating on a marshmallow. When he woke up this morning, he was missing. I guess he slept on a marshmallow all night and got lost in the fluff!
36. I couldn’t fall asleep last night so I decided to scroll through social media until I got tired. Big mistake! The light from my phone kept me up for hours. Finally, out of desperation, I turned on dark mode and fell asleep instantly.
37. I was having trouble falling asleep last night when suddenly I heard a weird tapping sound. I got scared but then realized it was just my heartbeat. Guess my heart was pounding too loud with fear and keeping me up!
38. I tried reading before bed last night to help me fall asleep, but then I got too invested in the story. I ended up staying awake for hours to finish the book. Next time, I’m just going to count sheep!
39. I had a crazy dream last night where I was being chased by giant sheep who wanted revenge for me counting them every night. I guess I need to find a new pre-sleep ritual!
40. I fell asleep on the couch watching TV last night. This morning when I woke up, the TV was still on but now it was showing a 24 hour yarn channel. I must have rolled onto the remote in my sleep and changed the channel!
41. I woke up in the middle of the night last night feeling panicked. I looked at my alarm clock but couldn’t read the numbers. Turns out the power had gone out, making my electric clock shut off! After that scare, I couldn’t fall back asleep.
42. I tried putting on soothing music last night to help me fall sleep but it backfired. I found the melodies so beautiful that I stayed awake for hours just listening attentively. Next time, I need something a little more boring!
43. I accidentally fell asleep on my arm last night and woke up with it completely numb and tingly. For a minute, I thought there was a stranger’s arm in my bed! Moral of the story: sleeping positions matter.
44. Last night, I had a dream that my legs were so relaxed they turned into jelly and I slid right off the bed onto the floor. When I woke up, I was so relieved it was just a dream and my legs were still normal!
45. I finally managed to doze off last night but then got woken up by our smoke detector beeping. In my sleepy state, I thought it was an alarm clock going off. Just a false alarm thankfully – our smoke detector just needed new batteries!
46. I tried reading a boring dictionary before bed last night hoping it would make me sleepy. Instead, I got hooked reading random word definitions and origins. At 3 AM I finally forced myself to put it down and go to sleep!
47. Last night I had a crazy dream where I showed up to school in my pajamas. Everyone pointed and laughed as I sat at my desk in just PJs and slippers. Waking up was such a relief when I saw I was still in normal clothes!
48. In my dream last night, I was having a dance party on my bed. I bounced so high I hit my head on the ceiling! I woke up terrified the dance party had been real. Luckily, no injuries just an overactive imagination.
49. I dreamed last night I was sleeping peacefully when I got rudely woken up by my cat meowing loudly in my face. I was annoyed until I woke up for real and realized my cat wasn’t even in the room! Phew.
50. I fell asleep cuddling a pillow last night but when I woke up this morning I was hugging a watermelon instead! No idea where it came from. Moral of the story: Don’t sleepwalk grocery shop.
51. Last night I dreamed I was running late to work and jumped out of bed to get ready. I woke up on the floor all tangled in my sheets. Note to self – don’t try leaping out of bed when half asleep!
52. I dreamed my legs were made of jello last night and I had to crawl around my house using just my arms. Waking up was such a relief to see my legs were still normal and sturdy!
53. Last night I dreamed my cat climbed up on my pillow and yelled at me to wake up in a creepy human voice. I was convinced it was real until I saw my cat sleeping peacefully by my feet this morning!
54. I dreamed my mattress turned into a trampoline last night and I bounced so high I hit the ceiling fan! Just a crazy dream but I woke up terrified and checked for injuries just in case. All good, thankfully!
55. Last night I dreamed there was a mouse running across my face as I slept! I woke up in a panic swatting at my face. False alarm – no mouse, just an active imagination gone wild.
56. I had a dream last night that I fell asleep at my desk during an exam and kept snoozing while everyone else finished and left. So stressful! I was relieved when I woke up in bed and realized there was no test.
57. Last night I dreamed my clothes suddenly turned invisible and I had to sneak out of class without anyone noticing! Waking up fully dressed was such a relief after that mortifying dream scenario.
58. I dreamed last night that I showed up to work in my slippers and PJs. Everyone pointed and laughed as I sat down at my desk! So relieved when I woke up fully dressed in normal work clothes.
59. Last night I dreamed I forgot to study for a big test and panicked when the teacher handed out the exam. I was so relieved when I woke up and realized there was no test today after all!
60. I had a dream last night that I was trapped in a marshmallow and couldn’t move my arms and legs! I woke up in a panic, thrashing around only to realize I wasn’t trapped, just twisted in my sheets.
61. Last night I dreamed I overslept and missed my entire senior year of high school – prom, graduation, everything! I was so relieved when I woke up and realized I wasn’t a student anymore.
62. I dreamed last night that I fell asleep on my arm and when I woke up it was missing! Panicked until I realized my actual arm was just numb from snoozing on it all night. Moral of the story: sleeping positions matter!
63. Last night I dreamed my legs were made of spaghetti noodles so I couldn’t walk without collapsing into a pile. Thank goodness I woke up and could stand normally with non-noodle legs!
64. I had a dream last night that someone released a tiger in my bedroom while I was sleeping! Woke up terrified, only to realize there was no tiger just an overactive imagination running wild.
65. Last night I dreamed I overslept on exam day and sprinted to school in my PJs. I got there just as everyone was finishing the test! So relieved it was just a dream when my alarm actually went off.
66. I dreamed last night I woke up late for a big meeting and rushed out of bed, only to realize I was naked! Woke up for real fully clothed – what a relief after that nightmare scenario.
67. Last night I dreamed angry hippos were loose in my house trying to catch me as I slept! I woke up startled and checked under the bed just in case before realizing hippos weren’t real threats here.
68. I dreamed last night that spiders made huge webs all over me as I slept! I freaked out waking up tangled in sheets. Note to self: don’t watch scary movies before bed anymore.
69. Last night I dreamed I woke up late for school and my mom came roaring into my room as a lion yelling at me to get up! Not a morning person I guess even in my dreams.
70. I dreamed last night that my pillow was made of bricks and rocks. Woke up this morning relieved to feel soft fluffy pillow on my actual bed instead of hard rubble!
71. Last night I dreamed my clothes were invisible so I had to sneak out of class unnoticed. Woke up fully dressed – what a relief after that embarrassing dream scenario!
72. I dreamed my legs turned to jelly last night so I slid right out of bed onto the floor. Thankfully woke up able to stand on solid leg bones, phew!
73. Last night I dreamed I woke up late for a big test. Spent the whole dream panicking over my lack of prep. So relieved when I woke up for real with no test!
