Game console Puns
1. I told my friend I finally bought a new game console. He said, “Wii are so excited for you!”
2. My girlfriend threatened to leave me if I didn’t stop playing video games. I said, “Xbox, go get my bags.”
3. What do you call stolen PlayStation? A taken station.
4. I was going to tell a joke about the Xbox, but it wasn’t very PS4.
5. Did you hear about the new vegetarian game console? It’s called Sega Genesis.
6. I asked the clerk if they had any discounted Nintendo Switch Lites. She said, “Just the regular price, switch.”
7. I wanted to buy a gaming console, but I didn’t have enough cache to store all those great games.
8. My wife said if I didn’t stop playing video games she would leave. I guess this is the end of my Play Station.
9. I told my wife that I traded my Xbox for an Ouya. She said, “That’s a fair trade.”
10. I entered my chicken in a game console lookalike contest. Sadly, he didn’t make the cut for the final round of CluckStation.
11. I was going to tell a joke about the PlayStation 5, but it hasn’t come out yet.
12. Someone stole my gaming console, police are looking for the culprit but there are no leads. It’s a gamecube mystery.
Game console One-liners
13. I’m so bad at video games, I couldn’t even get past the Wii Fit tutorial.
14. Just found out our baby’s first words were “Xbox turn off.”
15. My wife threatened to leave me because of my game console addiction, but we worked it out with some couples CoD counseling.
16. I don’t actually play games on my console, I just use it to load Netflix faster.
17. Sorry professor, I couldn’t finish my homework because of Joycon drift.
18. Found out my wife’s been cheating on me for 6 months, so I destroyed her Animal Crossing island.
19. I failed all my classes after discovering emulators on my phone.
20. Bought my son a game console as his first birthday gift, seems a bit overpowered for a 1 year old.
21. My girlfriend dumped me for being immature, maybe I shouldn’t have proposed to her on Minecraft.
22. Had to sell my console to pay rent, talk about a Nintendo Switch.
Best Game console Jokes
23. My wife threatened to leave me if I didn’t stop playing video games. I stormed away, controller in hand, slamming the bedroom door behind me. “That’s it!” I could hear her shout. “I’m done with this marriage!” I didn’t care. She was not going to separate me from my one true love… the new PlayStation 5.
24. I was feeling lonely, so I bought myself a gaming console to keep me company. My mom said I was pathetic, but we just beat Dark Souls together, so who is the real loser now, Mom?!
25. My girlfriend broke up with me because she was tired of competing with my Xbox for attention. Jokes on her though, the Xbox would never leave me for another guy.
26. My parents told me video games would rot my brain when I was a kid. Jokes on them, now I make six figures as a professional Twitch streamer and eSports player. Who’s laughing now, Mom and Dad?!
27. I knew my gaming addiction was out of control when I got fired from my job for calling in sick, but was spotted that same day waiting in line for the new console release.
28. I spent so much on loot boxes last month, that I couldn’t afford my rent. Now I just live inside a cardboard box that my new gaming headset came in.
29. Bought my 8 year old son the newest Call of Duty game for his birthday. He ended up 360 no-scoping me and calling me a noob after I tried playing with him. Kids these days!
30. My wife and I were arguing about my gaming habits, so I challenged her to a round of Mario Kart to settle it. She picked Rainbow Road, completely destroyed me, and now has even more justification to ban video games in our house.
31. I knew I had hit rock bottom when I sold my limited edition Console X on eBay to afford the new Console Z. My wife said I had a “console gambling” problem and needed help.
32. My kids staged an intervention to get me to stop gaming. When confiscating my controllers and uninstalling Steam didn’t work, they literally had to cut the power to get me out of my chair.
33. Bought my grandpa a new console and games to keep his mind active in retirement. Now I can’t pry him off the couch – he has been up for 72 hours straight trying to beat Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice.
34. Caught my mom using my console to play Candy Crush instead of doing chores. Now I understand where I get my gaming addiction from.
35. My wife demanded I choose between her and my game console. It was a tough decision, but ultimately I had to let her go. A console will never leave you for another man.
36. Bought my console strictly for exercise games to get in shape. But after nonstop gaming and pizza delivery for months, turns out it actually caused me to gain 40 pounds.
37. My boyfriend was furious when he saw our electric bill after I plugged in my mining rig to farm crypto using his console. Guess I should’ve asked him first before turning it into an NFT machine.
38. Dropped out of college to go pro in esports. Now I’m unemployed at my mom’s house yelling at 12 year olds online. At least I’m still good at something though!
39. Sold an old limited edition Console Z on eBay that I found at a garage sale for $5. The winning bid was $5,000. My wife still thinks I have a problem for being more excited about that than our wedding day.
40. Had to check myself into rehab for gaming addiction. Apparently 16 hours a day grinding loot and raging at strangers online isn’t considered normal behavior.