Fudge Puns
- What do you call a fudge maker who is full of themselves? A fudge packer.
- Why was the fudge sad? It felt crummy.
- I made a batch of fudge but accidentally used salt instead of sugar. You could say I made a salty fudge packer.
- My friend got addicted to fudge. I told him to cut back or he’ll end up in fudge rehab.
- I entered my fudge in a baking contest. Here’s hoping the judges give it their seal of fudgepproval.
- I was feeling down so I made myself some comfort fudge. You could say I was fudging my feelings.
- I made too much fudge and now my freezer is completely full. You could say it’s fudged to the brim.
- My fudge was so hard I could barely bite into it. I guess I fudged up the recipe.
- I bought some fudge on sale that was about to expire. You could say I got it for a fudging good deal.
- I’m entering my creamy peanut butter fudge in the county fair. Hopefully I’ll win a fudging ribbon.
Fudge One-Liners
- This fudge is so rich, my doctor said it raised my cholesterol just looking at it.
- Eating this fudge makes me so happy I could poop rainbows.
- My mom’s fudge is so good it should be illegal in all 50 states.
- Yo momma so fat when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house!
- After eating a whole pan of fudge, I had to fudge my pants size up a few inches.
- I ate so much fudge I sweated chocolate sauce for three days straight.
- This fudge tastes like a hug from grandma on a cold day.
- Your fudge tastes like old tires dipped in sadness.
- You’re so ugly when you walked into the fudge shop, they said “Sorry, no dogs allowed!”
- Eating your fudge is punishment worse than death.
Best Fudge Jokes
11. My friend Jill makes the most amazing fudge. She uses only the finest ingredients: Belgian chocolate, fresh cream, butter, pure vanilla extract. She gently melts and blends everything to silky perfection before letting it cool just enough to achieve the ideal texture. I don’t know her secret, but that fudge is so rich it melts in your mouth like a little piece of chocolate heaven. The flavor stays on your tongue for hours after just one bite. Jill guards the recipe carefully, refusing to share it with anyone. Whenever we beg her for the secret, she just smiles slyly and says “A true fudge master never reveals her secrets.” I guess we’ll just have to keep devouring batch after batch of her incredible fudge and wonder.
12. Last Christmas my family had gathered at my grandmother’s house for our traditional holiday celebration. The kitchen counter was overflowing with freshly baked cookies, cakes, pies and of course, grandma’s famous peanut butter fudge. We had been snacking on treats all day when my cousin Larry arrived right before dinner, eyeing the spread hungrily. Larry is known for his insatiable sweet tooth and immense appetite. During dinner, I noticed Larry stealthily sneaking back to the kitchen every few minutes. By the time dessert was served, the huge tray of fudge grandma had made was completely gone. Larry claimed innocence with chocolate smeared all over his face. To this day, the rest of us tease him about “The Great Fudge Caper of 2021”.
13. When I was 10 years old, my best friend Joey invited me to spend the night at his house for the first time. I was so excited! That evening, Joey’s mom made us a batch of chocolate peanut butter fudge for a bedtime snack. While we waited for the fudge to set up, Joey and I played video games in the basement. After what seemed like forever, we raced back upstairs to check if the fudge was ready. Joey’s mom cut us each a giant slab – it was so thick and creamy! I took one bite and instantly fell in love. I had never tasted anything so decadent, the peanut butter swirled throughout the velvety chocolate. We ate and ate until we made ourselves sick. Let’s just say I didn’t get much sleep that night, thanks to the sugar high followed by the stomach ache. But it was worth every minute to discover the awesomeness of homemade fudge. Joey and I have been best friends for over 20 years now, and his mom’s fudge is still my absolute favorite treat.
14. One Christmas morning when I was 8 years old, I woke up at dawn and tiptoed downstairs to see if Santa came. Under the tree were tons of presents waiting to be opened. But there was also a plate of fancy Christmas chocolates. I had never seen treats so beautiful – peanut butter cups and truffles sparkling with colored sprinkles and powdered sugar. In the middle was a stack of thick fudge squares drizzled with white and milk chocolate. It looked heavenly! I knew I shouldn’t sneak any before everyone else woke up, but the fudge seemed to be calling my name. I rationalized that Santa must have left it out to share. I popped a perfect little square in my mouth, the rich chocolate melting on my tongue. Just then I heard footsteps and had to choke down the evidence. My parents watched me open presents with chocolate smeared all over my face. I played innocent, but we all knew what happened. Hey, I was just spreading holiday cheer by tasting Santa’s delicious fudge!
15. Every summer my grandparents take my cousins and me to the county fair. My favorite part is the food! Fried Oreos, huge turkey legs, and of course the decadent fudge for sale by the FFA students. They make massive batches of all kinds – walnut, peanut butter swirl, rocky road loaded with marshmallows. One year I must have sampled two dozen different kinds while my parents weren’t looking. I thought I was being so sneaky walking back to the animal barns licking fudge off my fingers. But when we met up with my parents later, my mom took one look at my face and said “Young lady, did you get into the fudge again?” I was caught chocolate-handed! Even though I felt guilty about spoiling my dinner, that fair fudge is worth a tummy ache. I just have to get it while I can, since it’s only available once a year!
16. My friend Aaron got married last summer. For the rehearsal dinner dessert, his mother-in-law made huge trays of Picture Perfect Fudge. It lived up to its name – smooth, rich, just the right balance of chocolate and peanut butter. Aaron is a major chocoholic, so I wasn’t surprised to see him devouring piece after piece. By the end of dinner, almost half the fudge was gone and Aaron was looking a little green. Right before speeches started, I saw him bolt for the door. A few minutes later, we heard retching sounds from the bathroom down the hall. Poor Aaron had given himself an epic fudge overload. We teased him about the “chocolate chunk spew-nami” for weeks. But the real victim was his wedding tux that didn’t quite survive the incident. The groomsmen all pitched in to help him clean up and get presentable again. To this day, Aaron can’t look at fudge without clutching his stomach – talk about ruining a childhood favorite!
17. Last month my girlfriend and I house-sat for her parents while they were away. One evening we got hungry and started looking for snacks. In the pantry we found a tray of decadent chocolate peanut butter fudge that her mom must’ve made. Neither of us had ever tried it before but it looked incredible! Of course we couldn’t resist sneaking a few pieces…or more like half the pan. Oops! We polished off the whole thing in one sitting without thinking about the consequences. Well let’s just say that night did not go as romantically as we had planned. A massive sugar rush followed by crashing nausea is NOT compatible with romance! Her parents returned the next day to find us groaning on the couch, far too sick from fudge overload to do anything naughty. Lesson learned – fudge first, fun times later!
18. When my son Jacob started kindergarten, his teacher Mrs. Clark would make homemade fudge for the kids as a special Friday treat. Her peanut butter potato chip fudge was incredible – salty, sweet and utterly addictive. Jacob looked forward to Fudge Day more than anything. One week, he caught a nasty flu bug and had to miss school from Monday to Thursday. I got a call from Mrs. Clark on Friday afternoon, frantically asking if Jacob was okay. Apparently that morning, all the kids were served fudge except Jacob because he wasn’t there. You would have thought the apocalypse had started! There was crying, pouting, even some angry outbursts about the injustice of Jacob getting fudge while they didn’t. Mrs. Clark finally had to pacify the frenzy by promising Jacob would get his own private stash of fudge when he returned on Monday. And she even let him share it with his best friend so no one felt left out. After “The Great Kindergarten Fudge Riots of 2021,” the school decided maybe bribing small children with chocolate wasn’t the best idea. But hey, for one glorious year Mrs. Clark was the favorite teacher, beloved provider of the magical F-word that all 5-year-olds hold dear!
19. Mary loved her grandmother’s Christmas fudge more than anything. Every year it was the same – Grandma would spend all of Christmas Eve carefully melting rich chocolate, adding cream and nuts for her famous recipe. The whole family would eagerly wait for the fudge to cool so they could enjoy it. By Christmas morning, the huge platter was always gone. When Mary went away to college, she couldn’t make it home for the holidays. Grandma decided to ship her a tin of fudge to enjoy. Mary was so excited when she got the package. But when she opened it, she discovered the fudge was completely melted into a sugary blob. Mary started crying since it ruined her one taste of Grandma’s holiday treat. Suddenly Mary’s roommate laughed and said “Don’t worry, it’s college…we’ll just add more chocolate and vodka!” Together they re-hardened Grandma’s fudge with extra chocolate and some “holiday spirits.” The spiked version actually tasted amazing. Mary still wished she had the original to share with Grandma. But at least her loving spirit came through in the fudge fail!
20. For my brother’s high school graduation, I wanted to make him something special. He had a major sweet tooth, so I decided to make his favorite dessert – grandma’s chocolate peanut butter fudge. Only problem was, I didn’t know her top-secret recipe. I asked my mom for help. She gave me the basic ingredients but said the key was browning the butter just right for the deep, nutty flavor. I tried batch after batch, constantly burning the butter or overcooking the sugar. My brother eventually came into the kitchen and asked what that awful smell was. He looked in the pot, grimaced, and advised me to just buy some fudge as a gift. The day of his graduation party, I presented the store-bought fudge with apologies for not recreating grandma’s recipe. But my brother just smiled and said it was the thought that counts. We enjoyed the fudge together as I promised him I’d keep trying until I got it just as delicious as grandma’s.
21. Danielle hosted weekly Bunco games with the neighborhood ladies. One night it was her turn to provide snacks. She wanted something easy yet impressive. Danielle decided to make chocolate salted caramel pretzel fudge – it looked fancy from Pinterest but seemed simple enough. The day of Bunco, everything that could go wrong did – the fudge seized up, the caramel was runny, she burned the chocolate. Danielle stared at her goopy, ruined mess and broke down crying. Just then the doorbell rang announcing the ladies’ arrival. Danielle had no choice but to usher them inside with a vague “sorry about the snacks.” The women crowded into the kitchen and stopped short at the sight of the pitiful fudge remains. There was an awkward silence before Bunco queen Barb suddenly dipped a pretzel in the blobby chocolate and cheered “Honey don’t you fret, this right here is the best fudge yet!” She passed it around urging the others to try it. The women raved like it was ambrosia, praising Danielle’s bold creativity. They proclaimed her Fudge Fiasco a new group favorite. Danielle didn’t have the heart to tell them the truth – that her friends’ kindness and loyalty was the real sweet treat that night.
22. Jenny was beyond excited when her parents said she could have a sleepover for her 9th birthday. She planned every detail, especially the menu. She begged her mom to make homemade brownies, popcorn and best of all – chocolate peanut butter fudge, Jenny’s favorite. The day of the party, Jenny’s house was full of giggling girls playing games and watching movies. Late that night, they snuck downstairs to the kitchen for some snacks. Jenny gave herself a giant slab of fudge that she had been eyeing all night. The next morning, Jenny’s parents came down to a kitchen disaster – empty popcorn bowls, crushed brownies littering the counter, melted ice cream puddled on the floor. But the fudge platter had it worst of all. It was completely licked clean, not a single crumb left behind. Jenny’s mom turned to the girls: “Alright, which one of you little monsters ate ALL the fudge?!” Jenny smiled sheepishly and reluctantly raised her hand. She knew she was busted for the Great Middle of the Night Fudge Massacre. But hey, it was her birthday after all!
23. Martha was so excited to see her Great Aunt Edna’s name pop up on her phone. She hadn’t heard from Aunt Edna in several months since she moved to a retirement home. Martha eagerly answered, expecting Aunt Edna’s usual cheery greeting. But instead she heard an anxious voice saying “Martha dear, I need your help!” Aunt Edna went on to explain that the retirement home was having a bake sale fundraiser. She wanted to make her famous chocolate peanut butter oatmeal fudge to sell, but with her arthritis she couldn’t stir the heavy pot herself. Martha immediately offered to come over and help Aunt Edna make her signature fudge. It warmed Martha’s heart to stand in Aunt Edna’s kitchen together once more, taking turns stirring the bubbling mixture. With Martha’s help, Aunt Edna produced three perfect pans of fudge. The next day at the bake sale, Aunt Edna’s fudge sold out within minutes. She was so grateful to Martha for preserving her baking legacy. Martha was just thankful for more precious memories making fudge with her favorite aunt.
24. The first time my boyfriend Matt came home to meet my family I wanted to make a good impression. My sister Kim said she had the perfect idea – make Matt our mom’s famous chocolate peanut butter fudge for dessert. Kim swore that mom’s fudge had magical powers to win over anyone. I was skeptical but willing to try. The day before Matt’s arrival, Kim and I went to work. Unfortunately I had never been very skilled in the kitchen. I kept burning the chocolate while Kim wasn’t patient enough to let the fudge set up properly. By dinnertime we only managed to produce a plate of crunchy, crumbling blobs. I burst into tears thinking I had ruined my chance to bond with Matt over fudge. But when I served the pathetic results after dinner, Matt took a big enthusiastic bite and declared it was the best fudge he’d ever eaten. He had three huge pieces! I realized Kim was right – whether it looked perfect or not, mom’s recipe had spun its magic. To this day Matt requests my “special” fudge every time he visits.
25. On my first day of college classes, I stopped by the Student Activities booth to ask about clubs. A young woman named Becca greeted me with a wide grin. “Freshman, right? Have some fudge!” Before I could even respond, she shoved a piece of thick, creamy chocolate peanut butter fudge in my mouth. “Our Cooking Club made this specially to welcome new students,” Becca beamed. As I slowly savored the decadent fudge, she went on and on about how Cooking Club made treats for various campus events and held fun baking workshops. By the time I finished my sample, she had convinced me to sign up for the club’s next meeting. Nearly four years later, I can still remember the heavenly taste of that fudge that drew me in initially. I never expected to find lifelong friends and my culinary calling by joining a college club on a whim. It just goes to show that one bite of amazing fudge can truly change your life!
