Flood Puns
- I wanted to go white water rafting, but the river was too high, so I guess I’ll just have to settle for a flood activity.
- The heavy rains caused the river to rise so high, it was an utterly dam mess.
- After the storm, my backyard was completely underwater. You could say it was lawn gone.
- We tried to stop the flooding by stacking sandbags around our house, but water always finds a weir.
- I asked my friend if he wanted to go fishing after the big storm. He said, “No way! I’m not carp enough for these trout-ble waters.”
- Our basement flooded during the storm. Let’s just say tensions rose to dampening levels.
- Did you hear about the flood that occurred at the napkin factory? It was a paper towel!
- I wanted to make a flood joke, but they’re usually a bit too derivative.
- What do you call two guys fighting in a flood? Water combat.
- Our neighborhood flooded so badly that fish were swimming down the street. It was carpeting the asphalt!
Flood One-Liners
- My flooded basement is the epitome of damp spirits.
- Rising flood waters caused total aquarium.
- The forecast calls for reign without end.
- I stepped in a puddle and ended up in neck deep water.
- You know it’s a flood when people are kayaking down your street.
- Flood waters rose so high, fish were swimming through my living room.
- Talk about making a splash – this flood is out of control!
- Our basement flooded and caused one crappy situation.
- The flood left behind a real damper on things.
- You know it’s bad when the ducks are smirking at you.
Best Flood Jokes
11. After days of heavy rain, the dam broke and flooded the valley below. As the water rose, an emergency broadcast warned residents to evacuate immediately. However, one stubborn old man insisted on staying put. “God will save me,” he said. The floodwaters rose higher, forcing the man to the second floor of his house. A rescue boat came by and police shouted, “Get in, quickly!” But the man declined, saying, “God will save me.” The waters rose even higher, forcing the man to climb onto his roof. A helicopter flew overhead and dropped a ladder. “Climb up!” the pilot yelled. But the man just shook his head. “God will save me.” Eventually, the flood overtook the house and the man drowned. When he got to heaven, he demanded an explanation from God. “I had unshakable faith in you, why didn’t you save me?” he asked. God replied, “I sent you a warning, a boat, and a helicopter – what more did you want?”
12. Did you hear about the detective who investigated flood crimes? He specialized in watergate scandals.
13. Why did the house get arrested during the flood? It was caught floating down main street!
14. What do you call an angry group of people in flooded church? A cross swelling.
15. Why shouldn’t you tell flood jokes? The topics tend to polarize people and stir up waves of emotions. There’s really watery line between humor and offense when it comes to natural disasters.
16. How do frogs survive heavy flooding? With croak insurance.
17. Did you hear about the psychic who predicted the flood? She called it ahead of time.
18. Why did the toilet paper roll down the flooded street? It got caught in a current.
19. What did the flooded house wear to the party? A damp dress.
20. I wanted to make a flood joke, but none of them held water.
21. Why did the kid drop his ice cream during the flood? Because the river ran through it.
22. Why was the flooded basement so angry and resentful? It was full of animosity.
23. Did you hear about the restaurant that flooded? It was soup under water.
24. Why did the hippie protest the flood control measures? He kept going against the current.
25. Why was the flooded bakery so undeserving of its misfortune? It was such a humble pie shop.
26. Did you hear about the flood that hit the morgue? It was a grave situation.
27. Why was the flooded credit union shut down for so long? They were underwater on their loans.
28. Why was Noah’s flood better than 40 days of rain? Because of the ark.
29. How much did the flooded baseball field cost to repair? It was a field of dreams turned into a waterlogged nightmare.
30. Why was Noah sued after the flood? He flooded the market with more animals than people wanted.