Flirting Puns
1. I don’t usually flirt with strangers, but it looks like you could use some pickup lines.
2. Are you French? Because Eiffel for you.
3. I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?
4. Are you a parking ticket? ‘Cause you’ve got ‘fine’ written all over you.
5. If you were a vegetable, you’d be a ‘cute-cumber.’
6. Do you have a map? I just keep getting lost in your eyes.
7. Did you invent the airplane? Because you seem Wright for me.
8. Your eyes are blue, like the ocean. And baby, I’m lost at sea.
9. I’m not usually religious, but you’re the answer to my prayers.
10. You know what you would look really beautiful in? My arms.
11. You must be exhausted because you’ve been running through my mind all day.
12. Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears!
Flirting One-Liners
13. Your lips look so lonely… Would they like to meet mine?
14. How was heaven when you left it?
15. I was wondering if you had an extra heart. Mine was just stolen.
16. Do you have a Band Aid? I scraped my knees falling for you.
17. I think there’s something wrong with my phone. Your number’s not in it.
18. Is your name Google? Because you have everything I’ve been searching for.
19. If kisses were snowflakes, I’d send you a blizzard.
20. My love for you is like dividing by zero – it cannot be defined.
21. I didn’t believe in love at first sight, but that was before I saw you.
22. You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall… is in love with me.
Best Flirting Jokes
23. I asked a French guy to entertain my girlfriend while I went to get drinks. Unfortunately, he took me too seriously.
My girlfriend wasn’t too pleased with his attempts to seduce her in another language. Next time, I’ll ask for the entertainment en Francais.
24. I was fed up with my friends trying to set me up on dates. Finally, I agreed to meet someone new – only if my friends joined us. So there we were, me and my blind date with 15 other people crowded around to supervise. Talk about awkward flirting!
After 10 minutes of stilted small talk, my date made an excuse and rushed out. I can’t imagine why they would want to leave our little focus group. At least my friends finally got the message to stop flirting on my behalf!
25. I decided to try speed dating for the first time. The instructor explained we’d have just 2 minutes to chat before the bell rang and we rotated to the next date. Well, the first guy sat down and I immediately launched into an enthusiastic recap of my day, my hobbies, my job, and my family history. I talked non-stop for the entire 2 minutes – barely pausing to breathe between sentences! When the bell rang, I stood up feeling pretty pleased with myself. Then I noticed the look of shock and exhaustion on the poor guy’s face. Oops, maybe I should tone down the flirting just a tad next round.
26. I was participating in this charity bachelor auction and feeling pretty nervous. When it was my turn, I walked awkwardly on stage as the announcer listed my vital stats: “5’11”, likes sports, great cook…” Then he got to the flirting skills part and said, “Rates himself a 2 out of 10 for flirting abilities.” The room erupted in laughter while I stood there blushing furiously. Note to self: don’t reveal weaknesses when trying to get a date! At least the proceeds went to a good cause if not my dating life.
27. I recently started taking salsa dancing lessons, which I hoped might improve my flirting abilities. On my first night, the instructor paired us up to practice our moves. The woman I was partnered with was an excellent dancer, performing each twirl and dip with flair. I, on the other hand, kept bumbling through the steps and accidentally stepping on her toes. “Ow!” she finally cried out in frustration. “Sorry!” I stammered, feeling my face turn red. So much for smooth flirting on the dance floor. By the end of class, the only number I got was for a good podiatrist.
28. My friend begged me to go on a blind double date with her. Reluctantly, I agreed to meet for dinner at a nice restaurant. As soon as we arrived, however, I could tell my date wasn’t impressed. When I held out my hand to introduce myself, she just stared at it disdainfully. Trying to break the ice, I made a silly joke about the menu. She didn’t even crack a smile. Throughout the meal, she responded to my friendly questions with one-word answers while ignoring my flirting attempts. Finally, I gave up on winning over the “ice queen” and focused on trying to salvage my friend’s date. Let’s just say I quickly lost my appetite for blind dating!
29. I recently joined one of those trendy painting and wine classes, thinking it would be a great, low-key place to meet someone. I even made sure I looked extra nice. Once there, I tried to flirt by complimenting the woman next to me on her artistic skills. Too bad I got so distracted chatting her up that I accidentally knocked over both our wine glasses, splashing red liquid all over our canvases. We spent the rest of the night attempting to salvage our wine-soaked masterpieces rather than focusing on romance. I guess my flirting still needs some work before I try picking up dates at painting class again.
30. My friend encouraged me to try meeting someone new at the gym. So the next time I went for a workout, I put on a cute athleisure outfit and made sure my hair was just right. I spotted a handsome guy lifting weights near me and decided to make my move. “Need a spotter?” I asked sweetly, stepping up next to him. Trying to impress him with my own strength, I added way too many weights to the barbell before lying back on the bench. But when I tried to lift it, the bar immediately slammed down on my chest, knocking the wind out of me. So much for flirty gym banter – I could barely wheeze out a response when the guy asked if I was okay. Exercise flirting – fail!
31. I was so excited when my latest crush asked me to meet for coffee. I spent forever getting ready, expecting he was finally going to ask me out. I got to the cafe early, reapplied my lipstick, and practiced my most charming smile for when he arrived. But as soon as he sat down, he started gushing about this new girl he just met and how amazing she was. He then asked if I had any advice for impressing her with his flirting abilities! I was crushed but tried to politely provide a few tips before making an excuse to leave early. Next time, I’ll confirm an actual date before spending 2 hours primping!
32. My friend invited me to her birthday party and promised cute single guys would be there. I was determined to use the opportunity to flirt and maybe finally meet someone new. I practiced witty banter and even wore a new dress to impress. When I arrived, I made a beeline for the most attractive man there. Summoning my courage, I touched his arm lightly and said, “You must be the birthday girl’s hot brother she told me so much about.” He gave me a confused look, then gestured over to another man. “That’s my twin brother. I’m married with three kids,” he deadpanned. After profusely apologizing, I avoided trying anymore flirting for the rest of the party!
33. I saw a gorgeous woman reading a book at the park and decided to try out a flirty literary pick up line. I strolled up behind her bench and cleared my throat dramatically. “Excuse me,” I said. “I couldn’t help but notice you’re reading Jane Austen. I just love Pride and Prejudice.” I beamed confidently as she turned around. But my face fell when I saw she was reading a physics textbook, not a classic romance novel. She simply raised one eyebrow and went back to highlighting her notes without a word. Note to self – always check the book cover first before attempting bookish flirting!
34. I recently signed up for a big international dating site, hoping to meet sophisticated people from exotic locations. After days chatting with a smart, charming guy from France, he suggested we meet during my upcoming trip to Paris. I spent weeks brushing up my rusty French and picking out the perfect Parisian-chic outfit for our romantic rendezvous. However, when I arrived outside the cafe where we planned to meet, I realized I had been catfished by my sister’s high school French pen pal playing a practical joke. He laughed hysterically while I yelled curses at him in broken French. The only souvenir from that trip was a newfound skepticism about online flirting.
35. My friends dared me to try asking someone out via skywriting as we were hanging out at the beach. After a few beers, I decided to go for it. I paid a pilot to fly over pulling a banner that read “Sexy girl reading – will you go on a date with me?” I was feeling pretty smug about my over-the-top flirting stunt until angry parents starting storming over to our group. Apparently, I had accidentally targeted the wrong “sexy girl reading.” The mortified 12-year-old buried her nose deeper in her book while her furious mom started lecturing me. Next time, I should probably stick to more subtle flirting strategies to avoid major embarrassment or lawsuits.
36. As a joke, my buddy dared me to go to a psychic and ask her what my future wife would be like. When it was finally my turn, the psychic gazed into her crystal ball for a few seconds before proclaiming, “You will marry a beautiful redhead who loves the outdoors.” I grinned excitedly, deciding this was the perfect opportunity to flirt. “Well in that case, what are you doing later tonight?” I asked with a sly wink. The clearly unamused psychic deadpanned, “Communicating with the spirit world to help others, not dating unprofessional clients.” Note to self – psychics draw the line at flirting while on the clock!
37. I decided to look for love on a cruise ship, thinking being surrounded by water would make it easy to break the ice with flirting. The first couple days, whenever I saw an attractive woman on deck, I’d sidle up next to her and ask cheesy questions like, “Come here often?” or “Need a life preserver?” My corny cruise ship flirting wasn’t getting me anywhere. Then one day, I walked up to yet another beauty by the railing and casually began, “Are you a cruise ship? Because I’m ready to…” Before I could finish, she whirled around with a huge scowl and yelled, “IF YOU MAKE ONE MORE TACKY BOAT PICK-UP LINE, YOU’RE GOING OVERBOARD!” That was the end of my maritime flirting attempts.