Fish Puns (12)
- What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated.
- What do you call a fish that only costs $1? A buck an eel!
- Did you hear about the hungry piranha? He really likes to chew people out.
- My friend got hit in the head by a fish. Don’t worry, it was just a fluke.
- What do you call a nervous fish? Anxious.
- What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam!
- How do fish go into business? They start on a small scale.
- What do you call a fish wearing a tuxedo? Sophistifish.
- How do fish get to work every day? By car-pool.
- What do you call a deer wearing scuba gear? Buck Diver.
- Did you hear about the fish that went to jail? He’s doing hard plaice time.
- What did the boy fish say to the girl fish? You’re the best catch of the day!
Fish One-Liners (16)
- I took my fish for a walk today. You should’ve seen the looks we got.
- They say there are plenty of fish in the sea. But I’m still single, so I think my sea is broken.
- I entered my fish in a beauty contest. Sadly, he didn’t win. But he came scaley close!
- What did the fish say when it hit a concrete wall? “Dam!”
- I told my friend a really good fishing joke, but he said it was too bass.
- Did you hear about the hungry clock? It went back four seconds.
- I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you guys didn’t like it.
- My fish and I have a complicated relationship. I think we need to sea other fish.
- What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A roamin’ Catholic.
- I entered my pet fish in a talent show. Don’t worry, he’s got this in the bag.
- What do you call a pile of kittens? A meowntain.
- Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato? The lettuce was a “head” and the tomato was trying to “ketchup”!
- What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
- Did you hear about the hungry clock? It went back four seconds.
- I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you guys didn’t like it.
- My fish and I have a complicated relationship. I think we need to sea other fish.
Best Fish Jokes (36)
1. One day a fisherman was lying on a beautiful beach, with his fishing pole propped up in the sand and his solitary line cast out into the sparkling blue surf. He was enjoying the warmth of the afternoon sun and the prospect of catching a fish.
As he lay there, he felt a tug, then a harder pull, and suddenly realized he had a bite. He struggled to reel in his catch as it pulled against him. When he finally hauled the fish onto the beach, it was a large, flapping seabass.
“Wow, look at the size of that!” exclaimed a tourist who happened to pass by. “Are you going to eat that fish?”
“Nah,” said the fisherman. “I’m just going to let it go.”
“But it must’ve taken you forever to haul that monster in,” said the tourist. “Why not keep it?”
The fisherman just smiled as he removed the hook and tossed the big fish back into the surf. “Because I’ve got all the time in the world, and not that much bait.”
2. What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated.
3. One day a goldfish was sitting in his tank when he had an idea. He wanted to get a bicycle to ride around in his tank. So he went online and ordered one specially made for him. When it arrived, he eagerly tore open the box and put it together. But no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t ride it in the tank. Every time he tried, he would just tip over and fall off.
After many failed attempts, the goldfish finally gave up. He realized that this just wasn’t going to work. After all, it’s hard to ride a bike-cycle in a fish tank!
4. What do you call a deer wearing scuba gear? Buck Diver.
5. Did you hear about the hungry clock? It went back four seconds.
6. Why don’t fish like basketball? Because they’re afraid of the net.
7. What do you call a fish wearing a tuxedo? Sophistifish.
8. What do you get when you cross a salmon and an elephant? Swimming trunks.
9. What did the boy fish say to the girl fish? “You’re the best catch of the day!”
10. Where do fish keep their money? In riverbanks!
11. Did you hear about the fight at the fish factory? There were battered fish everywhere!
12. I took my new goldfish home today and put him in a big glass bowl. But all he does is stare at me through the glass. I think my fish is a stalker!
13. What did the little fish say when his dad dropped him off at school? “Bye fry!”
14. Why are fish terrible dancers? They always have two left fins.
15. I ordered salmon at a seafood restaurant last night. But when I tasted it, I realized something fishy was going on.
16. Did you hear about the hungry piranha? He really likes to chew people out.
17. What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Dam!
18. What do you get if you cross a trout with an apartment? A flat fish!
19. My friend swears he saw a mermaid the other day. But I’m not buying it. I think he’s just baiting me.
20. What’s the best way to communicate with a fish? Drop it a line!
21. I took my fish for a walk today. You should’ve seen the looks we got.
22. How do fish go into business? They start on a small scale.
23. What musical instrument is a fish’s favorite? The bass.
24. Did you hear about the hungry clock? It went back four seconds.
25. I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you guys didn’t like it.
26. My fish and I have a complicated relationship. I think we need to sea other fish.
27. What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A roamin’ Catholic.
28. I entered my pet fish in a talent show. Don’t worry, he’s got this in the bag.
29. What do you call a pile of kittens? A meowntain.
30. Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato? The lettuce was a “head” and the tomato was trying to “ketchup”!
31. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
32. Did you hear about the hungry clock? It went back four seconds.
33. I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you guys didn’t like it.
34. My fish and I have a complicated relationship. I think we need to sea other fish.
35. What do you call a deer wearing scuba gear? Buck Diver.
36. Why couldn’t the seahorse compete in the race? Because it was just for sea horses!
