Fashion Puns
1. I ordered a belt with a clock on it, but it turned out to be a waist of time.
2. My favorite socks disappeared from the laundry. I guess they ran out on me.
3. I was going to buy some camouflage pants but I couldn’t find any.
4. Someone stole my mood ring. I don’t know how I feel about that!
5. I’d tell you a joke about designer jeans, but it probably wouldn’t fit you.
6. I asked the salesperson if they had any deals on sneakers. They said all sales are final.
7. I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.
8. Did you hear about the guy who froze to death wearing his new coat? He was in shock.
9. My friend got crushed by a pile of coats. I guess I should’ve seen the warning signs.
10. I used to work in retail, but I just couldn’t deal with the endless streams of complaints. So I quit and became a river rafting guide instead.
11. I ordered a sweater for my dog online, but it had a bad fit. I’m sending it back and asking for a re-furnd.
12. Did you hear about the angry fashion designer? She always has a lot of beef with her clients.
Fashion One-Liners
13. My money doesn’t buy happiness. But it does buy couture, and that’s kind of the same thing.
14. I’m really good at spending money I don’t have on things I don’t need to impress people I don’t like.
15. My love for fashion is only rivaled by my love for naps.
16. I’m not lazy. I’m just on my couture break.
17. My idea of exercise is walking to the fridge.
18. Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert fashion advice.
19. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me. It’s like a fun fashion game we play.
20. I don’t always go shopping. But when I do, I max out my credit card.
21. I’m actually very fit and active. I’m just accidentally very good at hiding it.
22. I don’t shop more than normal. I’m just buying wardrobe essentials for my future lifestyle.
Best Fashion Jokes
23. I was at a fashion show when suddenly, all the models on the runway simultaneously tripped and fell. It turned out someone had tied all their shoelaces together as a prank. The whole situation just seemed wrong on so many levels.
24. My friend is a really unsuccessful fashion designer. None of her clothing sells well at all. I guess you could say her business is always in the red.
25. I saw a sign outside a boutique that said “Big Summer Blowout!” So I walked in expecting huge markdowns, but it turned out they were just having a big fan installed to keep the store cool.
26. I was out shopping and tried on a cashmere sweater that cost $500. I asked the salesperson if he had anything cheaper and he directed me to the polyester department.
27. I was at a fashion trade show and got to sample some couture chocolate truffles. They were delicious, but I can’t justify spending $100 on one chocolate just because it has gold leaf on it. Some people just take high fashion too far.
28. Why did the fashion model go to cooking school? She wanted to learn how to serve lewks!
29. Why do fashion models make great teachers? Because they have a lot of good pointers for class!
30. Why are fashion models never scared? Because they always face their fears!
31. Why don’t fashion designers ever win races? Because they always design clothing instead of designing sneakers!
32. Why don’t fashion bloggers pay taxes? They’re experts at avoiding sales!
33. Did you hear about the pirate who became a fashion designer? He found himself a new career designing eye patches!
34. Did you hear about the actor who became a shoe designer? He wanted to get his foot in the door of fashion!
35. Did you hear about the farmer who became a hat designer? She wanted to try a new career in agriculture!
36. Why don’t mummies make good fashion models? Because they’re all wrapped up!
37. What did the pant say to the shoe? Nice strides!
38. What did the scarf say to the hat? You go on a head, I’ll hang around!
39. Why are fashion designers great at throwing parties? Because they always dress for the occasion!
40. Why do fashion designers make great builders? Because they work well on site!
41. Why do fashion designers make bad airline pilots? Because they can’t stick to one uniform!
42. Why should you never ask a fashion designer for money? Because their business is always in the red!
43. Why do fashion designers hate breakfast? Because eggs stain fabric!
44. Why are fashion designers the worst at hide and seek? Because they’re always designing clothing, not camouflage!
45. Why can fashion designers never keep secrets? Because they can’t avoid spilling the tea!
46. Why do fashion designers make great spies? Because they’re experts at blends!
47. Why do fashion designers make bad doctors? Because they always prescribe flair over function!
48. What’s the most materialistic fabric? Cashmere!
49. How does a designer fix holes in clothes? With a patch, you lost it!
50. Why do fashion designers love dancing? Because they can show off their moves!
51. What do you call a snowman wearing the latest fashions? A cool dude!
52. Why can’t you tell a joke to a fashion designer? Because they’ll take everything literally!
53. What do you get if you cross a fashion designer and a baseball player? A clothes line!