Eyebrow Puns
1. I was looking for my tweezers yesterday but I couldn’t find them. I guess they were in arch-ival storage.
2. My friend got her eyebrows waxed into perfect arches. Now she looks surprised all the time.
3. Did you hear about the angry eyebrows? They were always furrowed.
4. I was running late this morning so I had to do my eyebrows in a flash. You could say I was in an eyebrow hurry.
5. I entered my eyebrows in a pet competition. Unfortunately, they didn’t win any prizes. I guess they’re not show brows.
6. My eyebrow pencil broke today. What a brow bummer.
7. I tried to tweeze my eyebrows into a cool shape but I just ended up looking surprised. These things have a mind of their brow.
8. My eyebrows are so unruly, it’s like they have a mind of their own. You could say they’re independent clauses.
9. I’m thinking of writing a book about eyebrow grooming. It will be quite a page turner-brow.
10. My friend got permanent eyebrow tattoos to save time doing her makeup. Now she’s always raising her brow game.
Eyebrow One-Liners
11. My eyebrows are so bushy, people keep asking me for gardening tips.
12. I tweezed my eyebrows so much, now I have permanent surprise face.
13. Don’t make me raise my eyebrow at you! It’s my only move.
14. My eyebrows are so arched, birds keep trying to nest in them.
15. I’m no Picasso, I can barely draw my eyebrows on straight.
16. I got my eyebrows threaded so now they’re on fleek… as the kids say.
17. My eyebrows are sisters, not twins. There’s always drama brewing.
18. Don’t mind me, I’m just over here trying to get my eyebrows to behave.
19. My eyebrows are the most expressive part of my face…help!
20. I’m not angry, my eyebrows are just dramatic.
Best Eyebrow Jokes
21. Last week my friend waxed off half of one eyebrow before her big date. She had to draw the rest of it on, but she made it too high at the arch. When her date arrived, the first thing he said was “Wow, you look so surprised to see me!”
22. I was running late for work the other day when I realized I forgot to do my eyebrows. I tried to quickly pencil them in but my left one ended up way higher than my right one. All day long my boss and coworkers kept asking me “Are you ok? You look worried about something.” Next time I’m setting my alarm 10 minutes earlier!
23. My sister over-plucked her eyebrows as a teenager in the 90s and they never grew back properly. Now she draws them on every day using stencils. Last month her son asked her, “Mommy, why are your eyebrows always so perfect?” She didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
24. The other night my friend and I were getting ready to go out when she suddenly gasped and said she’d forgotten her eyebrow kit. I told her not to panic, I had a brow pencil she could borrow. Well, turns out my pencil was way too red for her coloring. She ended up looking like an angry clown all night!
25. I was running late for a job interview when I realized I’d forgotten to fill in my sparse eyebrows. I used a black sharpie to quickly draw them on, not realizing how dark it would be. Let’s just say the interviewer seemed very distracted by my Groucho Marx brows. Suffice it to say, I didn’t get the job.
26. My boyfriend was getting ready to meet my parents for the first time. While styling his eyebrows in the car, he accidentally shaved off half of one brow. He had to walk into dinner with one full brow and one half brow. The whole night my mom kept staring at him, trying to figure out why he looked so weird. Not an ideal first impression!
27. One time I fell asleep watching a movie and woke up hours later to find my right eyebrow had been rubbed off from pressing on the couch cushion. I didn’t notice until I got to work the next day and everyone kept asking if I shaved it off as a fashion statement. I’m much more careful about napping on the couch now.
28. Last Halloween my friend used spirit gum to attach fake bushy eyebrows as part of her costume. By the end of the night they were so stuck on, she couldn’t remove them. She had to go to work the next day with those big furry brows because nothing would get them off. Everyone thought it was just part of her costume still.
29. I was running late to meet my girlfriend’s parents and I forgot to fill in my eyebrows. I used one of my black eyeliners but went way overboard. When I met her dad at the door, the first thing he said was “Woah, did you sharpie those things on?” I wanted to die. Thankfully by dessert they had faded enough to not be so distracting. Lesson learned.
30. My mom decided to get her eyebrows microbladed for her 60th birthday. The technician messed up one side and it ended up about an inch higher than her natural brow. My poor mom looked perpetually shocked for weeks until it finally faded. She’s embraced her natural sparse brows now.
31. One time before a party I wanted to try something new and make my eyebrows extra bold. I went overboard with the brow pomade and ended up looking like some kind of angry bird. When my husband saw me he was like “Uh, you might want to tone down the brows a little.” I scrubbed most of it off but they were still pretty intense. Thank god it was Halloween.
32. When I was a kid I tried to trim my own eyebrows. I thought I was doing a pretty good job until my mom saw me and shrieked. Apparently I had made them extremely uneven and thin. She said I looked deranged. Thankfully brows grow back, and now I stick to professional threading only.
33. I was studying late one night and fell asleep on my textbook, face down. When I woke up, I was missing half of one eyebrow! The pressure from the book caused it to rub right off. I had to pencil it in for weeks until it finally grew back enough. Beauty is pain, I guess?
34. My brow stylist was out sick so I tried going to a cheaper salon down the street. Big mistake. The technician waxed off the tails of my brows, leaving me with ultra-short nubs. I looked ridiculous and the hair took months to grow back out. You really do get what you pay for.
35. I was on vacation and forgot my brow pencil. As a last resort before dinner I tried using a black eyeshadow to fill them in. I went way overboard and ended up with brows darker and thicker than Groucho Marx. My husband couldn’t stop giggling at me all through the meal. Not my best look for date night!
36. One time I thought I could shape my brows by trimming them with tiny scissors. I managed to cut a big chunk right out of one brow. I had to walk around with one full brow and one half brow for weeks before it grew back. Now I strictly rely on threading for any brow grooming.
37. My brows were getting a little unruly so I decided to try waxing them myself at home. I ended up taking off way too much from the top and bottom, leaving me with pencil-thin arches. I looked permanently freaked out. Thankfully brows do grow back, but it took months before they were back to normal.
38. I always struggle getting my brows even when filling them in. One day I was running late and ended up making one brow way thicker and darker than the other. All day people kept glancing at me trying to figure out why I looked weird. Now I make sure to take the time to get them looking symmetric.
39. I used to think sharpie brows were a cool look. Let’s just say they didn’t quite suit my pale skin and blond hair. I ended up looking a little deranged. I revamped my brow routine after a makeup artist friend politely told me to stop with the harsh blacks. Lesson learned!
40. My eyebrows are basically nonexistent without makeup, so one day I tried using black liquid liner to make them stand out more. My liner slipped and I ended up with brows pointing in totally different directions. It wasn’t a subtle look, let’s just say that. More is not always better with brows!
41. I was nervous for a big work presentation so I somehow ended up penciling my brows way darker than usual without realizing it. My coworkers kept giving me weird looks during the meeting. Afterwards a friend said “Are you ok? Your brows look…angry today.” Oops, toned down the brow drama after that!
