Dust pan Puns
1. I bought a new dust pan that came with a mini broom. You could say it’s the little sweeper that could.
2. My dust pan has seen better days. You could say it’s past its prime.
3. I was cleaning up a mess in the kitchen when my dust pan broke. It was pan-demonium!
4. The handle on my dust pan cracked. I’m not sweeping it under the rug though, it needs to be repaired.
5. I use my dust pan so much, it’s become broomies with my broom.
6. My dust pan is looking a little worse for wear. It’s definitely seen some wear and tear.
7. I bought a new dust pan but it doesn’t seem to work well. It just pushes dust around instead of picking it up. What a pan!
8. My dust pan is almost as old as me. We go way back it’s been sweeping me off my feet for years.
9. I love my dust pan so much I wrote it a song and called it “Pan-dora’s Box.”
10. My dust pan is my best cleaning friend. We make a great cleaning team, it sweeps me off my feet!
11. My dust pan has seen better days. It’s definitely past its prime and over the hill.
12. I love my dust pan, we have a special bond. We sweep together in perfect pan-mony.
Dust pan One-Liners
13. My dust pan is so old, it belongs in a museum.
14. This dust pan couldn’t sweep the floor if its life depended on it.
15. My dust pan is useless – it just pushes the dust around.
16. This dust pan is more like a dust can’t.
17. I need a new dust pan – this one is ready for the trash pan.
18. My dust pan has lost its grip – time to toss it out!
19. This dust pan couldn’t pick up dust if its life depended on it.
20. I think my dust pan is allergic to dust – it refuses to pick any up!
21. Time to replace my dust pan – its bristles are beyond swept.
22. My dust pan has seen better days, weeks, months and years.
Best Dust pan Jokes
23. I was cleaning up a big mess in my living room and went to grab my trusty dust pan. When I tried to sweep up the pile of dirt, the dust pan completely fell apart in my hands! The handle snapped off and the metal pan part bent out of shape. Now I have an even bigger mess to clean up thanks to my crummy old dust pan!
24. My daughter was playing pretend and decided to use my dust pan as a guitar. She was strumming away on the handle and shaking the pan part like it was an amp. All of a sudden, the handle snapped off and the pan went flying across the room, spewing dust everywhere! My daughter stood there in shock covered in dust bunnies. I guess my dust pan isn’t cut out for rock and roll!
25. I was cleaning out my attic and found my great grandmother’s antique dust pan from the 1920s. I thought it would be neat to try out this antique, so I grabbed it and attempted to sweep up some cobwebs in the attic. As soon as I tried using the ancient dust pan, the wooden handle cracked and the metal pan completely bent out of shape. I guess they don’t make dust pans like they used to! Now I have a new heirloom to pass down – my great grandmother’s busted dust pan!
26. My son was pretending to be an astronaut and decided to use my dust pan as his space helmet. He put the pan on his head and started running around the house making space noises. As he ran down the hallway, he bonked right into the wall and the force of the impact snapped the handle off the pan. The pan flew off his head and dust went everywhere! I guess my dust pan isn’t NASA approved.
27. I was cleaning my garage when I spotted a huge spider crawling across the floor. I went to smash it with my dust pan but when I swung, I completely missed the spider. Instead, I hit the concrete floor so hard that the metal pan split in half and the handle cracked in two! Now I have an even bigger mess to clean up in the garage and the spider is still crawling around. Epic dust pan fail!
28. My kids were playing baseball in the backyard when the ball went flying through the window and knocked over my vase of flowers, spilling dirt and water all over the floor. I rushed to get the broom and dust pan to clean up the muddy mess. As I frantically swept the pile of dirt into the dust pan, the cheap plastic tray split down the middle causing the dirt to spill right back out. Now there’s an even bigger mess thanks to my crummy, broken dust pan!
29. I was cleaning out under the couch when I pulled out a huge tangled mess of dust bunnies, crumbs and who knows what else. I leaned in with the dust pan to sweep the pile into it. As I dragged the broom across the giant dust ball, the pan completely collapsed under the pile and snapped right in half. Now my living room is covered in a layer of dust thanks to my worthless, flimsy dust pan!
30. I was cleaning the bathroom when I knocked over the trash can, spilling used tissues, Q-tips and who knows what else all over the floor. I grabbed the dust pan and broom to quickly clean up the gross mess. As I frantically swept the pile toward the dust pan, the cheap plastic cracked under the pressure, dumping everything right back onto the floor. Now I have an even bigger mess thanks to the crummiest dust pan ever!
31. I was tidying up the bedroom when I bumped into the nightstand, knocking over a glass of water which soaked the carpet. I rushed to wipe up the spill with some towels and then grabbed the dust pan to sweep up the soggy mess. As soon as I tried scooping up the wet pile, the waterlogged dust pan became so heavy that the handle snapped right off, flinging water and soaked carpet fibers everywhere. Thanks a lot, defective dust pan!
32. My toddler was helping me sweep the kitchen floor when he got a little overzealous and dumped the entire contents of the dust pan right onto the clean floor. I watched in shock as the pile of crumbs, dirt and dust came spilling out. He immediately burst into tears realizing what he had done. Now thanks to one faulty dust pan latch, I have a weeping toddler and an even dirtier floor to deal with!
33. I was cleaning out the dryer vent and pulled out a huge clump of lint and dust. As I went to sweep it into the dust pan, the static electricity from the dryer lint caused the dust to fly right out of the pan and stick all over me instead! There I stood covered head to toe in a layer of lint and dust, thanks to my worthless dust pan letting me down.
34. I was tidying up the pantry when a bag of flour tipped over, exploding white powder all over the shelves and floor. I coughed and sputtered as I grabbed the dust pan and broom to try and contain the floury mess. As soon as I swept the pile of flour into the dust pan, the tiny particles flew right through the holes and seams, creating an even bigger cloud of white dust. Thanks for nothing, sieve-like dust pan!
35. My dust pan is completely useless. The other day I tried sweeping up a pile of potting soil that had spilled on the porch. But as soon as I tilted the dust pan, all the soil came pouring out through the giant gaps between the broom bristles leaving an even bigger mess. I need to invest in a real dust pan soon before my faulty one causes any more dirt disasters!
36. I was tidying up the living room when I noticed my dogs’ food bowl had been tipped over, scattering kibble all over the floor. I grabbed the dust pan and broom to sweep up the crunchy mess. However, as soon as I tried to scoop up the dog food, it slid right through the pan’s wide slots like a sieve. My dogs happily gobbled up the escaped kibble as I stood there with my worthless, hole-filled dust pan.
37. I tried using my dust pan to clean up a pile of sawdust in the garage, but the super fine powder went right through the pan as if it wasn’t even there! I spent 10 minutes trying to sweep the impossible-to-collect sawdust into the sieve-like dust pan and getting absolutely nowhere. I gave up and dumped the whole useless pan into the trash where it belongs!
38. I went to sweep up a pile of spilled rice in the kitchen and my dust pan failed miserably. The tiny grains of rice slipped right through the wide slots in the pan, leaving just as much of a mess on the floor. No matter how carefully I tried to sweep, it was no use. That dust pan is completely ineffective for small particles like rice or flour. Looks like I’ll be eating rice off the kitchen floor tonight!
39. I tried to use my dust pan to clean up a pile of spilled glitter after my kids’ art project. As soon as I tilted the pan over the glitter pile, it was like a sparkly confetti bomb went off! The teeny glitter bits flew absolutely everywhere, coating the entire kitchen in a layer of sparkles. That dust pan scattered more glitter than it picked up – I’m still finding bits of glitter weeks later!
40. I went to clean up a cracked egg that had dripped all over the kitchen floor. However, my dust pan was useless for the sticky, drippy mess. The egg just smeared around instead of being swept up. I spent 10 minutes trying desperately to scoop and scrape the egg out of the crevices in the pan as more oozed onto the floor. My dust pan is only good for dry messes – anything liquid or gooey is impossible!
41. I tried to use my dust pan to sweep up a mound of damp coffee grounds but it was an epic fail. The wet grounds were too heavy and sticky, so they just sat in a pile while my broom pushed them around. I tried tilting the pan, scraping with my hands, everything – but couldn’t manage to pick up a single coffee ground! That flimsy plastic dust pan is getting tossed out today.