Duck Puns
1. What do you call a duck that gets all A’s? A wise quacker!
2. Why don’t ducks tell jokes when they fly in groups? They like to flock together.
3. I was going to tell a joke about ducks, but I think I’ll bill it for later.
4. What do you get if you cross a duck with fireworks? A firequacker!
5. Why don’t ducks make good baseball players? They’re always hitting foul quacks.
6. Did you hear about the duck who could only say one thing? He had a one word quackulary.
7. What do you call a sleeping duck? A dead duck!
8. Where do ducks go for entertainment? To the quackodrome!
9. Why don’t ducks watch television? Because they’d rather stick their bills in a stream.
10. What’s a duck’s favorite snack? Quackers!
11. Why did the duck hunter keep seeing snakes in the water? His mind was playing tricks and quacks on him!
12. Why are ducks so funny? They’re always quacking jokes!
Duck One-Liners
13. I was going to tell a duck joke, but I decided to wing it instead.
14. A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. “Put it on my bill,” he says.
15. What do you get if you cross a duck with a firecracker? A firequacker!
16. Why do ducks have feathers? To cover their butt quacks!
17. Did you hear about the duck who got arrested? He was caught selling quack.
18. What do you call a psychic duck? A quack medium.
19. I was going to tell a duck joke, but it was kind of fowl.
20. Why don’t ducks tell jokes when they fly? They like to quack up together.
21. What do you get when you cross a duck and a firework? A firequacker!
22. Why don’t ducks watch TV? Because they’d rather stick their bills in a stream.
Best Duck Jokes
23. A duck walks into a pharmacy and says “Give me some chap-stick… and put it on my bill!”
24. A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night. When it came time to pay, the skunk didn’t have a scent, the deer didn’t have a buck so they put the meal on the duck’s bill.
25. A farmer bought a new duck call to try and round up his ducks. When he blew it for the first time, they all yelled “QUACK OFF!”
26. What’s a duck’s favorite snack? Cheese and quackers!
27. Did you hear about the duck who got arrested for dealing? He was selling quack!
Two ducks were on trial for blowing bubbles in the pond. The judge called the first duck to the stand and asked “What’s your name sir?”
“Bill, your honor,” replied the duck.
“And how do you plead to the charge of blowing bubbles in the pond?” asked the judge.
“Not guilty,” quacked Bill.
28. Why don’t ducks tell jokes when they fly? They like to quack up together.
29. What do you call a sleeping duck? A dead duck!
30. Why does a duck have feathers? To cover its butt quack!
31. What do you get when you cross a duck with a firework? A firequacker!
32. Why don’t ducks make good baseball players? They’re always hitting foul quacks.
33. Did you hear about the duck who got arrested? He was selling quack!
34. What sound does a sleeping duck make? A quack quack.
35. Why don’t ducks watch TV? Because they’d rather stick their bills in a stream.
36. What do ducks use to send messages? A quackberry!
37. Why did the duck get in trouble at school? He was caught quacking a test.
38. Did you hear about the duck who stole a car? He’s in a heap of trouble!
39. Why do ducks have tail feathers? To cover their butt quacks!
40. Why does a duck have feathers? To cover its butt quack!
41. What do you get if you cross a duck with cheese? Quackers!
42. Why don’t ducks tell jokes when they fly? They like to flock together.
43. Why did the duck cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken.
44. What do you call a crate of ducks? A box of quackers.
45. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels!
46. What do you get if you cross a duck with Santa? A Christmas quacker!
47. Why don’t ducks watch TV? Because they’d rather stick their bills in a stream.
48. How do you make a duck a soul singer? Put it in the microwave until its Bill Withers.
49. What do you call a duck that gets straight A’s? A wise quacker!
50. Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stamp out fires. To put out forest fires, they have to work quackly!
51. What do you call a duck who does magic tricks? A quackmologist!
52. What do you call a duck that robs banks? A safe quacker!
53. Why did the duck cross the road halfway? He wanted to lay it on the line!
54. How do you fit 100 ducks in a freezer? Put them in 3 by quacks!
55. What do you call it when a duck won’t pay his bills? Duckin’ the debt collector!
56. Why was the duck kicked out of the park? For selling quack!
57. What do you call a duck in a suit? A private quacker!
58. What do you call an unfair duck? A fowl player!
59. Why do ducks watch the news? To stay in the quack of things!
60. What did the duck say when she bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill!”