Dart Puns
1. I wanted to take up a new hobby, so I decided to give darts a throw.
2. I was hoping to hit a bullseye, but my dart skills are sub-par at best.
3. My friend threw a dart randomly and hit the bullseye. It was a complete fluke.
4. I tried to throw a dart while blindfolded. It was a shot in the dark.
5. I bought a new set of darts but they’re defective. They don’t seem to be hitting the mark.
6. I accidentally threw my dart backwards over my shoulder. It was a real backward throw.
7. I wanted to practice darts so I drew a target on my wall. Now my wall is completely wall-eyed.
8. The other team hit the bullseye five times in a row. We didn’t stand a dart’s chance.
9. I’m so bad at darts I couldn’t hit the broadside of a barn door.
10. My friend challenged me to a game of darts. Let’s just say it was a pointed match.
11. I was on target to win the darts tournament until I choked in the final round.
12. I tried playing darts left-handed but couldn’t get the hang of it. I guess I’m not ambidextrous.
Dart One-Liners
13. My darts aim is so bad, I couldn’t hit the floor if I fell off a ladder.
14. I’m so bad at darts, the board plays me.
15. I throw darts like lightning—I never strike twice in the same place.
16. My darts motto: if at first you don’t succeed, throw and throw again.
17. Darts is like archery for people with no arms.
18. I’m the Michael Jordan of darts…if Michael Jordan was absolutely terrible at darts.
19. My darts coach told me I throw like a girl. I took it as a compliment—girls have way better aim than me.
20. I’m so bad at darts I couldn’t hit the ground if I fell off a ladder.
21. I recently took up darts to impress the ladies. Let’s just say it hasn’t exactly been a magnet for dates.
22. I once played a game of darts blindfolded. Apparently “pin the tail on the donkey” would have been a better choice.
Best Dart Jokes
23. I was playing darts at the bar last night when I accidentally hit another patron. Now I’m banned for life from playing darts while drunk. In my defense, he really shouldn’t have been standing in front of the dartboard.
24. My friends and I decided to play a game of darts. It was all fun and games until Ryan got a little too into it and threw a dart with so much force it got lodged in the wall. We laugh about it now but the bar owner was not amused. Needless to say, we’re not welcomed back there anytime soon.
25. I recently joined an amateur darts league at my local pub. I was feeling pretty confident until I got up to take my first turn. I swung back my arm and, instead of releasing the dart, ended up throwing the entire set. They hit the floor and went scattering everywhere. One even hit the server carrying a tray of beers. Suffice to say, that was my first and last match with the darts team.
26. I decided to get my buddy a dartboard for his birthday. When he opened it, his face lit up with excitement. “Thank you so much!” he exclaimed. That excitement quickly turned to horror when he discovered I had mounted it directly over his bed while he was out. Let’s just say his wife wasn’t thrilled when she found a dart sticking out of her pillow that night. Whoops!
27. My girlfriend broke up with me because apparently I pay more attention to darts than her. Honestly, thinking back on it now, she may have had a point. I did spend an excessive amount of time practicing and entering tournaments. But in my defense, darts has never once complained to me or made me sleep on the couch, so really, who’s the better companion here?
28. I was playing darts at a bar when a guy at the next board asked if I wanted to make the game more interesting with a little wager. I declined, explaining I was just a casual player. He laughed smugly and said, “What are you, chicken?” Annoyed, I agreed to the bet. Turns out he was a regional darts champion. Let’s just say he cleaned me out that night. The lesson: never bet against a guy holding 3 darts.
29. My friends and I visited this cool underground darts bar. Everything was going great until the waitress brought over our beers. As she was setting them down, my buddy Dave threw a dart that sailed right onto her tray, sending beers flying everywhere. The whole place fell silent. Dave turned bright red, shoved a $20 in her hand for a tip, and bolted for the door. We laughed about it later but man, that was embarrassing. Needless to say, we won’t be going back to that bar anytime soon.
30. Last night my buddies and I went to our favorite sports bar for darts and wings. We were just getting into a good game when an extremely drunk guy wandered over and grabbed the darts right out of the board. “I wanna play too!” he yelled as he hurled a dart straight at me. I had to dive out of the way to avoid getting impaled! His next throw landed in some poor woman’s burger. Suffice to say, he got escorted out real quick after that. I guess the lesson here is to never come between a drunk guy and his darts.