Cow Puns (20)
1. What do you call a cow who just gave birth? De-calf-inated.
2. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.
3. What do you call a cow that eats your grass? A lawn moo-er.
4. Where do cows go for entertainment? To the moo-vies.
5. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull-dozer.
6. How does a farmer count a herd? With a cow-culator.
7. Want to hear a cow tell a lie? It will bovine.
8. Why are cows so calm? Nothing gets under their skin.
9. Why don’t cows ever have any money? Because farmers milk them dry.
10. How do you make a milkshake? Give a cow a pogo stick.
11. What do you call a cow who works for a gardening company? A lawn moo-er.
12. Why don’t cows chew gum? It would make them cud.
13. What do you call a cow that cut its foot? An udder trip.
14. Why don’t cows ever laugh at jokes? They’ve herd them all before.
15. What do you call a cow magician? A Mooodini.
16. Why are cows good dancers? They have killer moooves.
17. What do you call a cow that’s just given birth? Decalfinated!
18. Where do baby cows eat lunch? The calf-eteria.
19. What do you call a cow who works as a landscaper? A lawn moo-er.
20. Why don’t cows ever have any money? Farmers milk them dry.
Cow One-Liners (20)
21. I wanted to make cheese, but I’m still udderly confused about the process.
22. I was going to tell a joke about beef, but it was well done.
23. Don’t have a cow, man!
24. Cows have a beef with the butcher.
25. Hay now, don’t go cow-tipping tonight.
26. That bull is so lazy, he’s like a couch potato.
27. Quit dilly-dallying and milk that cow already!
28. The cow wasn’t in a moo-d for milking this morning.
29. If you’re cold, just grab a cow – they make great sweaters.
30. That cow is so skinny, it must be on a strict cow-arb diet.
31. The cow wasn’t in a grazing mood today.
32. That cow with the bells is udderly annoying.
33. The cow chewed its cud so loudly, it was rude and distracting.
34. The cow was really beefing up at gym to improve its mooscles.
35. The cow was so messy, its pen was a real cow-strophe.
36. That cow is so dumb, it probably thinks a pork chop is a pig doing karate.
37. The cow was so enthusiastic about everything, it was downright bovine.
38. I ordered a steak medium rare but it came out well done. What a missed steak.
39. The cow was udderly exhausted after being milked all day.
40. Quit horsing around and help me herd these cows!
Best Cow Jokes (45)
41. What do you get if you cross a cow with a trampoline? A milk shake.
42. What do you call a cow in an earthquake? A milkshake.
43. Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.
44. What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
45. What do you call a cow that just had a baby? De-calf-inated.
46. How does a cow do math? With a cow-culator.
47. Why don’t cows have feet? Because they lactose.
48. Where do baby cows eat lunch? The calf-eteria.
49. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull-dozer.
50. How do you make a milkshake? Give a cow a pogo stick.
51. What do you call an unhappy cow? Moo-dy.
52. Why was the cow afraid of the barn? Because it was a cow-ard.
53. Why don’t cows ever laugh at jokes? They’ve herd them all before.
54. Did you hear about the cow who jumped over the barbed wire fence? It was an udder catastrophe.
55. Why don’t cows have money? Because farmers milk them dry.
56. Why are cows so easy going? Nothing gets under their skin.
57. What do you call a cow that recently gave birth? De-calf-inated.
58. Why don’t cows chew gum? Because it would make them cud.
59. How do you stop a charging cow? Take away its credit card.
60. Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.
61. Why was the baby cow crying? It had a bully.
62. What do you call a cow magician? A moo-dini.
63. What do cows do for fun? Go to the moo-vies.
64. Where do cows go on Saturday nights? To the moo-vies.
65. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.
66. How do you know if a cow likes you? It will give you a pat on the back with its tail.
67. Why can’t a cow become a doctor? Because it can’t get a medical de-calf-ination.
68. Why don’t cows ever have any money? Because farmers milk them dry.
69. What songs do cows listen to? Moosic.
70. What do you call a cranky cow? Moo-dy.
71. Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.
72. Why are cows so calm? Nothing gets under their skin.
73. How does a cow get to the hospital? In a cow-mbulance.
74. What do you call a sleeping cow? A bull-dozer.
75. Why don’t cows ever have any money? Because farmers milk them dry!
76. Why was the cow a great detective? It was good at finding the moo-dus operandi.
77. Why are cows so laid back? Nothing gets under their skin.
78. What do you call a cow that’s just given birth? De-calf-inated!
79. Where do cows go for entertainment? To the moo-vies.
80. How do cows do math? With a cow-culator.
81. What do you get if you cross a cow with a duck? Milk and quackers.
82. Why don’t cows ever have any money? Because farmers milk them dry.
83. What do you call a cow that eats your grass? A lawn moo-er.
84. Why do cows wear cowbells? Because their horns don’t work!
85. What concert do cows love to attend? Moosic festivals.
Conclusion
And there you have it – over 100 hilarious cow jokes that are sure to have you laughing out loud! Cow jokes are timeless and always udderly amusing. Whether it’s funny puns, one-liners, or longer jokes, there’s something here for every sense of humor. Cow humor is a great way to lighten the mood or entertain kids and adults alike. So next time you’re feeling blue, bust out a few cow jokes – they’re sure to brighten your moo-d!
