Construction Puns
- What do you call a nervous construction worker? A wrecking ball.
- Why did the construction worker get fired? He worked riveting jobs.
- How does a construction worker party? They raise the roof.
- Why was the construction worker embarrassed? He work short shorts.
- Why was the nail artist excited for construction work? It would be a nail biter.
- Why did the construction manager miss the morning meeting? He was probably still digging for answers.
- Which construction workers go on all the dates? The studs.
- How does a construction worker keep their tools safe? They hammer down tight.
- What do you call a construction worker who skips work? A riveter.
- Why are construction workers great dancers? They know how to build a floor.
Construction One-Liners
- I tried to get a construction job once, but I guess I’m just better at deconstruction.
- Do you know why construction workers make good musicians? Because they have built-in drum kits!
- My construction worker friend was having girl trouble, but I told him there’s plenty more fishies in the sea crane.
- So a construction worker walks into a bar, takes one look around, and says “Yep, this roof needs to be raised by about 2 feet”.
- What do you call a construction worker who just broke up with their girlfriend? Homewrecker.
- How do construction workers party? They raise the roof.
- Did you hear about the construction worker who was jumping from building to building? He was trying to find the right scaffolding in life.
- Why don’t construction workers ever seem to get cold? All that insulation keeps them warm.
- My construction worker friend loves demolishing stuff, he’s such a wrecking ball.
- What did the construction worker say when his tools got stolen? Welldone.
Best Construction Jokes
21. Three construction workers, Joe, Mike and Jack, were sitting down having their lunch break. Joe opened his lunchbox and said “Ugh, sandwiches again?! If I get one more sandwich my wife packed for me, I’m going to jump off of this building!” Mike opened his lunchbox next and said “You think that’s bad? My wife packed me the same spaghetti for the third day in a row! If I get this again tomorrow, I’m jumping off too!” Finally, Jack opened his lunchbox and said “Bologna sandwiches again…” Joe and Mike look at each other and say “Looks like you’re making your own lunch tomorrow.”
22. A construction worker was feeling very tired after a long day of building, so he went to the doctor to find out what was wrong with him. The doctor ran some tests and came back with the results: “I’m afraid you have an iron deficiency.” The construction worker replied: “Well, that makes sense, I work with a lot of steel!”
23. Did you hear about the construction crew that made a huge mistake and built all the new houses in the neighborhood facing the wrong way? The formwork supervisor told the foreman “This is an unframed disaster!”
24. A construction worker walks into a bar after a long day and orders a beer. “Rough day?” the bartender asks. “Yeah, it’s been tough,” the construction worker replies. “We’re building a new arena downtown and things aren’t going so smoothly. The surveyors made a mistake on their plans so the foundation is all wrong. We’ve had to demo half the work we already did and start over. Our crane operator keeps dropping stuff because a cable is frayed. And to top it all off, a paint can exploded all over the foreman this morning and he’s been yelling at everyone all day. I can’t wait for this job to be finished.” The bartender gives him a sympathetic nod and says, “Sounds like you guys really constructed a mess over there.”
25. Did you hear about the construction workers who wouldn’t stop hitting on their new female traffic controller? They kept wolf whistling and catcalling every time she directed them to stop or slow down. Their foreman had to step in and say “Come on guys, we need to respect women in construction sites!”
26. Why was the bricklayer fired from the construction site? He kept leaving little gaps in the wall and kept saying “It adds character!”
27. What do you call two construction workers fighting with wooden planks? Lumberjacks.
28. How do construction workers dance at weddings? With jackhammers.
29. Why did the foreman get angry at his crew for eating their lunch early? They were riveted by hunger.
30. What did the construction worker say to his daughter when she wanted to lift some heavy equipment? “Don’t crane your neck sweetie, that’s my job.”
31. Why was the construction worker arrested on the job site? He was caught riveting in public.
32. Why was the construction worker unable to finish painting the house? She kept hitting a wall.
33. What do you call a construction worker who is afraid of heights? A crane-phobic.
34. Why do construction workers make great philosophers? They spend all day pondering beams.
35. How do you know when a construction joke is a dad joke? It’s a little corny.
36. Why do construction workers make the best musicians? They know how to support a band.
37. Did you hear about the construction crew that couldn’t figure out how to demolish a building? They decided to wing it instead of following the blueprints. What a wreckless decision.
38. What’s the difference between a messy construction site and spaghetti? You eventually clean up the spaghetti.
39. Why was the bricklayer so upset? He hit a wall in his relationship.
40. Why do construction workers make great philosophers? Because they spend all day on higher scaffolds thinking about the meaning of beams.
41. How did the construction crew let off steam at the end of a long week? They raised the roof at the local bar.
42. Why was the construction manager cranky all morning? He got up on the wrong side of the bedframe his crew built yesterday.
43. What did the construction worker say when his crew finished building the mall ahead of schedule? “We really erected fast!”
44. Why did the construction crew get in trouble for playing poker on the job? They were caught jackhammering and riveting on company time.
45. Why are construction sites so noisy? All the workers are always raising a racquet.
46. Did you hear about the construction worker who was famous for misplacing his tools? His friends called him “The Luke Nailer”.
47. Why do construction crews love ESPN? Because it helps them unwind after riveting television.
48. Why was the tile layer sweating so much while working? He was grouting the whole time.
49. How do construction workers unwind after a long week? By raising the roof at the local bar.
50. What’s a construction worker’s favorite kind of lunch? A riveting sandwich.
51. Why did the welder get fired from the construction job? He kept making up fabricated stories.
52. Why did the construction crew run out of material so quickly? There was a lot of wasteful consumption going on at the site.
53. Did you hear about the electrician who shocked his fellow construction workers? He really conducted himself poorly.
54. Why was the construction manager cranky on Monday? He got up on the wrong side of the bed frame his crew built over the weekend.