57 Funny Clothing iron Jokes

Clothing Iron Puns (12)

1. I was going to make a joke about ironing clothes, but it came out looking too flat.
2. I bought my wife a new iron for her birthday. I told her it cost me an arm and a leg, but don’t worry—I got it for a steal!
3. Why don’t irons make good detectives? Because they always end up getting themselves in hot water!
4. My friend got arrested for hitting someone with an iron. I guess you could say he committed a pressing assault!
5. I was going to make a pun about ironing, but I decided to press my luck another time.
6. Want to hear a joke about ironing boards? Nah, it’s too flat.
7. Did you hear about the angry iron? It lost its cool and went off the handle.
8. I bought my wife a rose gold iron for Valentine’s day. I guess you could say it was a hot item!
9. What do you call an iron that likes math? A square root!
10. Want to hear a joke about ironing? Eh, it’s a little pressing.
11. What do irons and vacuum cleaners have in common? They both suck up dirt!
12. I tried to organize a party for irons, but it turns out they aren’t very good at pressing events.

Clothing Iron One-Liners (14)

13. My iron is so old, instead of steam it now just wheezes out dust.
14. I was going to make an ironing pun, but I decided to press pause instead.
15. I bought my wife an iron—it was cheap but it still worked like a charm.
16. My iron identifies as non-binary—it goes both ways!
17. Don’t borrow my iron unless you want to get burned.
18. My iron is so aggressive, it threatened to flatten my dog if he didn’t hold still.
19. I entered my iron into a strongest appliance competition, but it turns out it doesn’t actually lift.
20. I caught my son using the iron to make grilled cheese—that kid really presses my buttons.
21. Don’t anger the iron unless you want it to give you the cold shoulder.
22. I bought my iron at a police auction—it was a pressed criminal.
23. Be careful when using my iron—one wrong move and it could be curtains for your clothes!
24. My iron has seen better days—now it just leaves everything a wrinkled mess.
25. My iron is useless unless it’s smoking—then I know it’s ready to get to work!
26. I entered my iron into a metal detecting competition but it turns out it has no magnetic personality.

Best Clothing Iron Jokes (31)

27. Last week my iron stopped working so I took it to the repair shop. The man took one look at it and said, “Well, it looks like your iron has lost its steam.” I replied, “Yes, now can you please help me press my clothes?”
28. I was running late for work the other day when my iron suddenly started billowing smoke. In a panic, I called the fire department and shouted, “My iron is on fire! I need emergency assistance!” The operator replied, “Ma’am please calm down, can you take the iron off your clothes first?”
29. Why don’t cows ever need to iron their clothes? Because they produce their own calf crease!
30. My friend always irons his jeans while he’s still wearing them. When I asked him why, he said, “I’m just trying to get that crisp, clean denim.” I told him he should take them off first unless he wants to be walking around with griddle marks on his legs!
31. What did the iron say to the wrinkled shirt? “Come on baby, let me press up on you!”
32. I bought my girlfriend a rose gold clothing iron for our anniversary. When she unwrapped it, she just glared at me and said, “Are you trying to say my clothes are wrinkly?” I gulped and responded, “No honey, I just wanted you to know that even when things get heated, our love always comes out smoothly in the end.”
33. Why was the iron so exhausted? It was pressing clothes all day.
34. My wife was struggling to carry the laundry basket down the stairs, so I offered to iron out the situation for her.
35. What do you call clothes that refuse to be ironed? Non-complying attire!
36. Did you hear about the clothing iron that was arrested? It was charged with assault and battery.
37. I told my suit it was looking wrinkly, so it retaliated by trying to press charges against me!
38. Yesterday my iron started making bizarre clicking noises before shooting hot steam all over my favorite dress shirt. As I was scrambling to unplug it, I realized my iron has clearly been hacked by Russian cybercriminals.
39. I entered my old broken iron into an ugliest appliance contest. It ended up taking home the grand prize—best in wrinkly class!
40. My wife was struggling to carry the laundry basket down the stairs, so I offered to iron out the situation for her.
41. I just bought a new iron to press my shirts, unfortunately it doesn’t seem to working. In fact, I would say when it comes to removing creases…it sucks!
42. What do you call an iron that got run over by a steamroller? Totally flattened!
43. My friend always irons his jeans while he’s still wearing them. When I asked him why, he said, “I’m just trying to get that crisp, clean denim.” I told him he should take them off first unless he wants to be walking around with griddle marks on his legs!
44. Did you hear about the iron who was working overtime? He was absolutely exhausted and could barely manage holding himself up! His boss saw him struggling and said, “I think it’s time you took a break, you’re looking extremely pressed for time.”
45. Why don’t eggs need ironing? Because they already come with their own little suits!
46. My girlfriend dumped me after I bought her an iron for her birthday. In my defense, I was just trying to smooth things over.
47. I once entered my iron into a strongest household appliance competition. Turns out it was totally out of its league—it didn’t even make the final heat!
48. What do you call pants that refuse to be ironed? Non-complying attire!
49. I caught my roommate using my clothing iron to make grilled cheese sandwiches. Let’s just say temperatures really started heating up after that.
50. My iron is useless unless it’s smoking—then I know it’s ready to get to work!
51. I tried to organize a party for irons, but it turns out they aren’t very good at pressing events.
52. Want to hear a joke about ironing boards? Nah, it’s too flat.
53. Why do irons make terrible lawyers? They always end up burning their clients!
54. Did you hear about the ironing competition where contestants had to race while ironing a shirt? It ended up being quite the pressing match!
55. My friend got run over by a steam roller. The doctors say he’s going to pull through, but it looks like he’s a bit flattened.
56. What do you call an iron that commits fraud? A pressing imposter!
57. Why shouldn’t you ever insult an iron? It will just give you the cold shoulder.
58. What do you call an iron that patrols the neighborhood? The crease police!
59. Last night my iron suddenly exploded in the middle of me pressing a shirt. I guess you could say things got heated real fast!
60. My iron is useless unless it’s smoking—then I know it’s ready to get to work!
61. Did you hear about the iron who lost his job at the cleaners? He was fired for pressing charges!